#rivervale_lodge

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Gerd clicks the box open, running her fingers over it. It's just an object. Just a thing. Oh who is she kidding? It's a gorgeous clever thing.

She flips the catch, then looks in, running her fingers over it. She's rarely gotten so much delight from this sort of thing, but there are hidden drawers, and cubbyholes, and you can put all your witchy stuff in there.

And she clicks it closed

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Connor knocks on Gerd's door.

Gerd turns and opens it "Hello?"

Then she smiles "hey, little brother"

"Who's there?" He suggests. "Banana, Banana who? Orange you glad Snow didn't eat all the bananas?"

She smiles "Yeah, that's a challenge"

"I have a lot of people to talk to." If the door is opened, he steps to join her, otherwise waits politely just outside. "And I'm not sure how."

Door is open and she guides him in "This about the apology?" She says

He flops onto the floor in a flump. "It's hard to know how to, even if you know how to talk right, and I'm speaking latin tongues."

"And words don't always make things right even if you get them right..."

"E Pookus Confusum" Gerd nods agreeing "It's got to be frustrating for you at times anyway, and then apologies are hard too even for non pooka. It hurts to wait there, hovering, hoping things can just go back to how they were" A sigh "Been there. "

"look" She picks him up and puts him on the edge of the bed so they can be more eye to eye "I love you. They love you too. That love is stronger than hurt feelings ... in the long run, but you can't be mad if they don't instantly forget things . It hurts back, but that's not why they don't forget. "

"No one wants you to hurt" She says "now.. remembering that... may I say that sometimes a flower goes a long way with apologies for girls? or ladies?"

"Dagmar likes ponies more than peonies, but I don't think Miss Tove wants another pet."

"Mmm you have a point. Maybe you could apologize and offer to help her with the horses?"

"She likes the horses. It's not a chore." Then he wrinkles his nose. "Oh. I can shovel. No one likes THAT."

"And... she'd have more time for the fun parts?"

"I think if you shoveled for her a few times AND apologized, it would be obvious you were apologizing" She nods

"Now, Adam... Adam you owe a big apology to. No one likes being played for someone else's gain, and.. while I was mad at him for getting fooled, the molre Ihear the more I realize he was a stand up guy the whole trip."

He ducks his head again. "I don't know what Adam might want. He likes to see sidhe. I don't think I can do that unless I got him invited back again, maybe... but maybe that's silly. Or dangerous..."

"Maybe Lilly would know..." And then he swallows. "Is Symon going to cut off my toes and put them in a jar? Lily says he has all SORTS of stuff in jars... and pinned to books... and stuffed..."

"I'll talk to Symon" She says "But you do need to apologize to him."

"For Adam? Mmmm" she ponders then smiles

"Maybe you could get him flowers TO give to Piper? I'm not sure. "

He turns a look to Gerd, big eyes doleful. "Do you think that some people are just bad because of what they are?"

"I don't like your father," She says simply, "I think the's negligent, insensitive, and far too concerned with how he appears before others to the point of harming them even if he doesn't mean harm. YOU are not negligent, insensitive, or so vain that you would let others be harmed so cleary bad is not normally in the blood, at least for Kithain"

"And not for mortals" A nod

"Now.. Thallian? You need to watch out for them. They have no seelie side. That's not a matter of blood, it's a matter of formian power. "

Connor looks troubled, but he is listening.

"So.. maybe Thallian are bad because of what they are. The rest of us? We are bad because of what we do or don't do... and I do think intent should count a little though others may disagree"

"I was selfish, though. Unspeakably selfish." Echoing the chief's words. "And it wasn't even a mistake... I mean it was a mistake to do, but it wasn't on accident. I knew what I was doing.. but I thought because I wanted it so bad... that it would be okay..."

"We are also GOOD because of what we do or don't do, ESPECIALLY if being good is hard" A nod "Easy virtue is weaksauce. Facing down your worst side and doing the right thing anyway even when the wrong thing is easier or has a pay off? That's .. that Dumbledore level good"

She hugs him

"You poor kid"

"Sometimes I wish I was taller... and sometimes I'm happiest to just be small and run around and have fun. I can't have both... and I don't know who I'm supposed to be. Being Buddy is EASIER. He doesn't think hard thoughts. He likes snacks, and sleeping in the sun, and chasing the squirrels even if he doesn't REALLY mean to catch them."

"Yes, but Buddy will never know the joy of skinning his knee on a bike fall and getting back up on the bike while folks tell him how brave he is and mean it. Buddy can't understand what it's like to not just hear things, but listen to people talk about what they are missing, and then draw in the best crayons a picture of that to cheer them up. 'The Hard is what makes it great' is a movie quote.. and it fits a lot of things. Would you like to hear the good news?"

"Buddy can go out around people, too." A sigh, but that's a different issue. "There's good news?"

"Yes. The Goodnews is this, we are not defined by our WORST moments. We are not defined by our most selfish thoughts. We are NOT our worst day ever. Others who judge us by that are simpletons, or very naive and they will face a harsh discovery when their own worst day arises. You are not 'Connor who pretended to be Symon and disobeyed and deceived' unless you choose to STAY him. You can be Connor who makes people smile, and Connor who listens when hearts are hurting. You can be Connor the boy who looks after Jack to make sure he's not going to fall from the top of the boathouse. Connor who helps deliver notes. You are Connor the kind because you are kind. You are Connor the brave because you have been brave. The good news is, we reinvent ourselves every waking moment and it is the struggle to be good that makes us good. "

He leans heavily on her. "I hope so. I don't think that all... unseelie house people... maybe they're not all bad. But I wouldn't want people to only think of me as that Connor. 'Specially not the Chief."

"Oh. You want to know if there are good Ailil?" She says

"If Olgar can be a friend, and Dirk, and Symon... maybe you just need to get to know some folk better." He looks hopeful.

"There are some good Ailil" She says simply "But they are rare. Some are trapped in their house, some are reformers, and a few are what Ailil could be at it's best. However, just like Gwydions have a temper baked into their house, Ailil have a pride that can turn to cruelty. They have a hard time admiting they're wrong even when it's obvious. They have a tendency, when someone makes them look bad or they get defeated, to take it out on even innocent people. Those weaker than them. SOME Ailil direct this hurt pride in safer directions... but you must be on your guard"

"Cuz... you have to judge them on their good moments?"

"Ooh, you're sneaky" She kisses him on the forehead "Perhaps... but there are exceptions. If a guy beats his wife, but is happy to loan you a cup of sugar.. it doesn't really even out does it ? For that matter... if a guy beats his wife... then saves folks from a house fire.. it doesn't mean his wife should stay there and get beat on."

He nods, but he frowns. "I don't like that." Chewing on a thumbnail as he considers. "In science we learned that dogs are all the same species, even though some are big and some are practically cats. A guard dog MIGHT be friendly, but you have to watch out, because maybe they're trained to be tough. Or a chi-weenie might be mean and bite and bark, but they don't have the same... power behind them as a dobie... so you SHOULD be careful, because even though they have the same... potential, maybe it's good to be cautious based on what you know of them?" Trying to put this into something he understands better.