#rivervale_lodge

"...no..."

A nod. "Then...accept the burden...make right what you can...learn not to repeat the harm."

She chews on her thumb and nods.

"I would help, but without knowing more, I cannot." A pause. "But I would wish you to tell me when you feel you have made progress."

"Okay."

She starts to leave, then pauses. "Dagmar...do not delay. It will eat at you until you act."

"I'll figure it out." She's not quite sure if she will.

An eyebrow. "I will help if you decide to ask."

"I don't... ask Kerri, ask whoever, everybody wants to talk and talk about it."

A blink. "I am not asking them."

"I will help," she repeats, "if you decide to ask."

"Everybody knows my business, yeah?"

"I do not believe I know all of your 'business.'"

"It's... stupid, not stuff you should have to worry about. Sorry."

"You have important stuff."

"Dagmar. Did you cause harm?"

"Everybody says..." A frown.

"Do you feel you caused harm?"

"Of course I do." Painfully true.

"But I don't know how to stop. Just... just... just being me, being like I am, that's what does it. Not being happy enough. Not being... resilient enough, maybe?"

"I should be happier. It's been almost two whole years. I should be better."

"You will learn in time how better to avoid causing harm. You have already begun. You are better. You are willing to trust more than you were. You are willing to offer your kindness to others, and that requires courage."

"But the harm you have caused must be addressed. You cannot move past it until you do so. It is like a tether that keeps you in one place."

"I..." A frustrated sigh.

"I can do it. I know how." Resignation.

"Yes?"

A careful look.

She's unhappy, and hiding it poorly.

"Dagmar...I would like you to tell me what you plan. I...have sometimes caused new harm when I meant to heal old harm. I would try to help you avoid this."

Shrug. "Stop avoiding him. Be all smiley and happy when I see him."

"I can say all the right stuff."

A narrow look. "Is that truth?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. That is avoiding the harm, not addressing it. Not making it right."

"If I'm not happy, I hurt people."

"Sometimes."

"All the time."

"You are not happy now. You have not harmed me."

"But you don't like that I'm not. And I shouldn't be. It's my fault, I don't have any right to be unhappy."

"That is not for you to decide alone. You must find out what harm you have caused the other, and how to make the other whole again."

"All he wants is for me to play nice and make friends again."

"How do you know this?"

"Everybody says. Kerri, and Nabuni, and everybody..."

She frowns. "They have told you his thoughts?"

"That he wants to be friends? Yeah."

"He said it, too."

"That is not the same as 'play nice'...and it is not the same as ignoring the problem."

"So, whatever, I'll be friends."

"You must be made whole as well."

"I said I'll be friends. I can do it."