#rivervale_lodge

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Siv goes seeking her mother out the next day

Both Oak and Edelweiss, noses now jelly-free, are snuffling around the boat shelter as Brekke checks over the hull.

Siv takes a deep breath, unsure what to say at first, but then, "You know, I've been warned about sidhe being pretty, you didn't tell me they were annoying." A bite of her lip

A glance over her shoulder, a pause...and she resumes her inspection of the Kestrel. "Mm?" It's little more than a grunt.

"One was annoying because..he was right" Siv says "If..sworn or not, I spoke to any other holder to them like I did to you the other night I'd be..." A bite of her lip again, "I'd be out on my ass for it at the least.. I was wrong to disrespect you like that, AND wrong to be so with father. I'm..sorry about that. You deserve more respect than I gave. I can disagree, but i should na disrespect. You..treat me different from the others, because I am different- I'm your daughter, and... I whine about it when it doesn't suit me, and expect it when it does. I was an ass." Lowering her eyes

Another pause...and she turns to look at the girl. A sigh. "Well...you were a teenage girl. And I...I was unreasonable. Have been unreasonable." Then a pause and a slight frown. "A sidhe told you this?"

"I thought he'd take my side, the pointy eared jerk" A glum look then a pause, "And... and well, you tried. I mean, you did get dad to ease up on my wardrobe and parties with other fae. You... you tried. I just... pushed the boundaries. I " A frown "I think you had a point on why I did the sneaky work around, but itw asn't to be clever so much as... if I did it honest, you might have said no, and then I'd be trapped and I hated that. Or I'd have to FIGHT you..and I hate that more. I..was a coward about it. I guess."

"Yes." Brekke nods simply. "I do not respect the 'ask forgiveness instead of permission' approach, Siv. And it ended in a fight, regardless." A sigh. "You are sometimes reckless, Siv...and that frightens me. Which, I suppose, may make me a coward of a mother." She scowls at the idea.

"Well, that mall situation...scared me too. One moment I was Siv Waveborne, sailor girl, the next I was...some amnesiac mortal girl confused in a crowd. Tween me lack of autumn world memories and that..damn vulnerability, I AM ... well, I worry too. but for you? Fear keeps me safe. For me,fear is a prison. I.. you were afraid FOR me, not for yourself. That's...not the same as being a coward." A pause, then "Am I hurting the peace o the lodge?"

"Well, if you are, you are not doing it without help." A deep breath, and she rests her hand on the hull again. "It was easier on the ship, I think. Though you still terrified me on a regular basis." A slight hint of a grin.

"Oh, I remember enough of that..." fondly "But I ended up being fine on the crow's nest. And the few times I landed on the deck it wasn't from TOO high up."

A wince. "Of all the memories the Dreaming did not take..." She shakes her head.

A soft thump thump of a wagging tail from the curled up lump beneath the raised hull- glad that the fight seems resolved.

She glances under the boat and spots the pup. "Hello, Buddy. A few more minutes, and then Connor should get some exercise."

Then she straightens and looks at Siv again, seriously. "I cannot make a rule about family without your father's input...but I need you to understand also that it is harder to give you more freedom when you have made it harder to trust your word, with the half-truths."

She turns, "I'm still irked at you, Connor" A nod, "Mostly for making me feel a bit like a hypocrite. But you're not in trouble, not that I know of. Just don't go to firnost without warning like that. Mkay?"

An eyebrow at Siv giving orders about Firnost.

A wince at her mother's wording "Yes ,well, I am my own worst enemy I guess. I should have just said 'mom dad I'm going' and taken the argument. And instead I've just ..made it harder for you and me, you're right." Then at her eyebrow "What? I said 'that I know of'"

She shakes her head to dismiss the last question. "Siv...what is it that you want, that I can do, to make this work for all of us? I...do not want to lose you." Simple words, multiple meanings, deeply felt.

At that part of losing her, she blinks "Who told you about that? I mean, how did you know?"

A confused look. "I do not understand."

"I... nevermind. naught good would come of it"

Now a frown. "No, Siv. Whatever it is, I believe I need to know."

"I..." A deep breath, "I thought of leaving here and going to another hold . Maybe Jessica would have me."

And that is truth. She did consider it

A blink. "For...for a visit." Brekke clarifies.

"No mum, to live" with obvious effort. She did not want to talk so straight, but weaseling around things got her more into trouble, "not to hurt you, but... I just seem to make you and dad crazy, and I don't want that. But I also can't stand the idea of this turning into a prison. And since I am the problem, I thoght maybe if I moved the problem..." fidget "Ye see? It makes perfect sense. It's not like I contribute much to the lodge really."

Jaw tight, Brekke looks away for a long moment. Finally she says, "You are not the problem. Not you alone. And you do contribute. You are responsible with the younger ones, you support the work, and...and you have been heroic, and you were not adequately recognized for that because of my anger. And for that, I do apologize. Siv..." A deep breath. "My daughter...will you please give me another chance?"

"Another... mom? I'm the one who weasaled, you were right about that. I should be .. I am trying to apologize to you" horrified, "I didn't tell you about the list of freeholds I wondered, JUST wondered about mind, NOT to blackmail ye! That's... I've more honor than that. I love you! I would never..." She hugs her mother "I won't let you beat yourseelf up about this. You hear me? Tis as you said, we all mistepped. If any chances are to be given they'll be passed all around even and square."

Brekke doesn't answer, but does hold her daughter close, nodding agreement.

"You're a good mom, hell, you're a great mom 8 out of ten times, it's just... those two eh? I ...notice em more because they stand out. And even those are for loving reasons. You think I don't realize how lucky I am? After what Dagmar's been through, and others ? I just.... Oh mother. I wish you hadn't asked for details on what i meant. I've hurt you again, haven't I?"

"I am glad that you told me. I am glad that I know." She releases Siv, straightening her shoulders and clearing her throat. "When I said that...about losing you..." A pause, another throat clearing. "I also meant losing you to banality, and not knowing where you are to help you. But...we can do something about that. Kerri had an idea. And wherever you are..." A serious look. "Siv, you know, do you not? That wherever you are, if you need our help, we will come help you. No matter what."

"Well, I don't want to go crying to you and da every time I face a challenge... but yes,I know. " She tilts her head, "what idea did she have?"

"No, and I did not say we will help you in cases where you can help yourself. But if you truly need our help, we are there." And then a slight grin. "I did not know that these days cell phones have a way of tracking people. If you swear to leave it turned on...I will give my oath not to check where you are unless I truly believe you may need help."

Siv looks impressed 'They can do that?" Regarding the cellphones, for a teenager she's not that tech savvy "I..well, I'm not crazy about magic crystal balls on me, but then... if I were gone for too long like a day without warning and dad had a tattletale cantrip I'd expect that to be used. This isn't so different is it? "

"Exactly. And yes, your father has resources that I do not, but sometimes he and I are not in the same place, and I would like to be able to locate you when needed." A careful nod, as if she's concerned with scaring off a wild creature.

Siv ponders this , sorts it through, and mentally STOMPS on that part of her that is an anti-authoritarian brat in troll clothing. That part has gotten her into enough trouble, thank you and worse, hurt her parents, "I think .. I think Kerri has a great idea, and you.. you are being more than fair. If you and dad both are good with it, yes. I'll keep it on and with me at all times. I'll have to remember to charge it daily, but yes. Vali already gave me a trak phone for emergencies ,but let's get me one with that and I'll wear it."

Brekke nods, relieved. "If there is another way that we can sort out that is more convenient, then we will talk about that. And yes, your father must approve." Siv can tell that she is visibly relaxing.

She nods, "He's... been really good" She says "I'm afraid our fighting made him miserable. We should have our next drag out just the two of us. " humor?

She notices Connor is gone and she mutters "I hope he's not getting into trouble again."

"Well, let us not have another for a long time." Then, "Hmph, Now you know my thinking. Do you wish to check on him?"

Torn, "Truth to tell? When you mentioned I was good with the younger ones, I feared that meant babysitting duty for Connor. He's a fine young man I'm sure, but seems a lot of trouble, and his past means' got a skewed view of what the world is like... he's just not as prepared to deal with much of it as I'm comfortable with. And..." A pause "you're mentally noting all the stuff that I dished out thaat's coming back to me now aren't ye?"

The bemused eyebrows say it all.

"guess I can't blame you.. muuch" light grumble that sounds a bit like her dad "I'll keep an eye on him when I see him, of course, or, when Idon't see him for a long period. But I DO worry. Jaymes seems firmer with him, almost too much s o. Says the boy acts too much like a dog and isn't one and if we catch him napping in a corner we should put him in a human bed. Not sure why it offends him so."

"Well...I think Jaymes is partially right, but I think we will have to help Connor transition into regular boy-hood gradually. And...no, i am not sure why it bothers Jaymes so much, either. Interesting."

"Siv, you do realize that Connor's situation is partially due to the neglect of his guardians?"