With great somberness, "It is most solemn. As I pass by the living tunnel of soldiers, both to my right and left, I must keep my head down humbly, mostly so I do not bump into their crossed erections, and I must not laugh or coo... lifting my head, I find I will be granted my choice of monster to duel to the death, Kracken, Dragon, or Mother's frown. Obviously only a fool fights #3. Having slain the Kraken, but being in a mess, I must go to the tower of Fab and free my make up pit crew. There, they strip me, whip me, and beat me ...with bronzers, toners and make up, then I am redressed, and zip line down to before the Baroness, say 'Yes, may I please have another' and she declares me a Fiona, and sticks a Lion tail up my ass. Twas always thus, and twas always will be- since the before time. Then I shall be a Fiona " Said with dignity, somber somber dignity