#debukefarmhold

"And all me an'Les did is what they asked."

"They made me scrub the floors without supper, and then sent me home without the sausages we were gonna make with the blood, and I got punished AGAIN for not bringing home the meat."
"Oh, this here is Glass. Best nose-hound this side of the Missisipi. That side, too. Uh, which side ARE we on?"

"Left."

"Wait, they giving you the business?" Briar bristles.

"No?"

She cracks her knuckles.

"Wanna, uh, tell me... "a pause. Thinking. "Tell me er, what didn't happen?"

"Like, it wasn't... like... nobody said..." She considers. "What are cookies for if NOT eating?"

"NOTHIN!"

"But Les was right with us, right? Th'whole time!"

"You met Les already, I know. He's been moonin' over all th'Corn Girls like they're on the cob." She huffs, irritated. "Wilders. I'm never gonna become one."

"Anyways. Since there were so many cookies, the went to Les because if anybody would know what t'do about too much food, it'd be a cap, I guess."

"Like all those trolls would never get hungry? Wrangling and roving and plowing and stuff?"

She bristles. "It's... it ain't... it... don't trolls get hungry, too!?!"

"I ran all over my words with an iron, but it didn't..." Warble.

Briar huffs.

Then whacks Amity, punches her on the back. But, like gentle, with an open hand. Punch, punch punch.

"Ain't yer fault they got corn for brains."

"Yeah!"

"And squash for whisper whisper and all knobbly and crooked too!" She says wickedly!

"Sluagh zucchini? Sloo-zinni?"

"You shoulda seen it, though! Les et a whole canal, big as th'Panama one, I'll tell you, and whoosh! It was totally Greek, bringin' culture to the cornfields. A dramatic reenactment. AND the stables were totally cleaner at the end of it."

"THAT's why no one wants their zuchinni. "

A pause, and "Did you KNOW what they put on those fields? COW SHITE! Even -I- don't wanna eat that."

"Oh, nah, this was horseshit."

"Well, that's not so bad as cows. We got horses back home, now they gots, like, dignity. And you don't eat em."

"Cuz they got names?"

"Well. Racehorses get turned into dog meat when they stop winning races, but not ours. My boss sidhe, he's a softy like that."

"Not that he's a wuss, I'm from the Hold of the Dragon, and tehy're kick ass like in Game of Thrones, except, like, less marryin' their sisters."

"Do they have any actual dragons?"

"The DeBukes name their animals. Even the pigs! I liked the Napoleon sausages best."

Briar considers, "Just a runty one that lives in the library. But we COULD if we wanted to."

"Oh, this bitch what hides in the workshop all day? She made a dragon out of all these little bits of glass, and when the sun shines through it lights up the room, even though the glass is black. Ain't THAT something?"

"You know Nockers?"

"They're almost as rude as us caps." Looking proud at this.

She brightens. "Pishers!"

"Yeah! THey get away with swearing even at dinner." In awe at that.

"I'm not clever enough to make up my own swears, so I gotta put some of my dross in the blasted jar."

"My ma once melted the frying pan."

"Yer MA is one of ems? Whooaaa." Awed.

"She is?"

"I'd hafta double check with Da."

"I ain't got a ma or a da. Well, I guess I did once." A shrug. "They gave me up because I'm too bad ass to handle. But it ain't so bad, I wouldn't have liked living with muggles anyways."

"I got a Troll though, and she's bigger than most people's mums AND dads." Jutting out her chin as though daring Amity to argue.

"Mm. Does magic count?"

"I guess?"

"I've been working on gettin' a troll, but I think mine might secretly be a sluagh? She's the wrong color, but maybe she just ate a lot of blueberries?"

"Anyways, Da is usually regular-sized, but he could be bigger than a troll if he used magic."

"Weird. I like blueberries though." Smacking her lips.

"Wonder when they come out? They're at the supermarket all year, but I don't think anybody here's ever been to one of those."

"Maybe we can look?" Hopeful, clearly getting hungry.

She bobs her head. "Right? Yeah! Can Glass sniff'em out?"

"Betcha they have all kindsa old grandma fruits, too. Like elderberries!"