#debukefarmhold

"Look..." simmering ".... I dunno how ta make her happy. You do, Earl. So.... You tell me. Whadda I gotta do?"

Earl looks to Zara "honey, I know it's hard, but tell her what you want what would make you happy. I can guess but..."

"...I'm sorry... please.. it.. I'm sorry. I want... you should be.. you should be somewhere good, aye?"

"Where you're happy."

"B-baltimore or anywhere..."

Earl looks back at Miriam "She wants you in her life, a lot. She does want you happy, but she wants you to be her second mother...maybe it won't be the same as Hannah, Hanna is her mama, raised her and did well, but I know my zara, and she has a loving heart that wants hard. Miriam, she wants to see you every holiday, every damn holiday. She checks the chair at Scarsdale, the empty one..."

"Well, Baltimore is pretty much booby-trapped, sounds like!"

"Fine, I'll be there!"

"Good. She wants to be able to turn to you and pester you for advice when she thinks you'd understand or even wants your take on things. She wants to be nearby sometime while you're working, just in the corner quietly. it's how she ..shows she cares. proxmity"

She swallows, flushed pink.

"Sometimes she might want to watch you while you sleep, just to make sure you're safe. If you realize she's there, just pretend to be asleep. You don't want to ruin her happiness by embarrassing her by catching her too easily, not that it easy" He says with experience

"And sometimes she'll want tea, and when she talks it maybe about books so obscure it will blow your mind... it's her way of offering abit of herself, sharing..."

Struggling. "Earl.. she can't..."

"And it's all wonderful"

"Fine!"

"Good" he says, trying not to raise his voice "And you can tell her what you want and would like to do with her, because I know you do... instead you're doing the whole 'this makes sense' or 'this is what works' and let's have none of that 'I screwed up' crap, Miriam"

Voice not a yell but the soft spoken troll sounds quite firm.

"What, I should say I screwed up? You want a furkin' LIST??"

"No..."

"Didn't. You didn't screw up."

He sighs 'I said none of that'.."

"Tryin' ta' make logical choice an' shit an'....." grumbling.

"Yeah, put logic in the closet for 38 seconds"

"Kay, fine, now what?" She folds her arms over her chest (like daughter like mother in that area) and glares, chin jutting.

"Now ..." he says wolf teeth threatening to grind "Tell her what you want and would like to do with her? I mean... what mother daughter things would you like? Don't tell me you don't want to show her what you can do in your craft? Show off a bit? That's just one but I bet it's there. That and what else?"

"Earl..."

"I ain't furkin' -thought- that far yet! Tryin' ta figure out the nuts and bolts first!!"

The nocker fumes but then grinds out "-IF- I can get set up then YEAH, maybe so. I like the lace she makes, could be cool to work with that."

Earl nods, "Darn straight, she's amazing." A look at Zara "sorry, my love, but she..she asked me. And you were cheating yourself of happiness and I couldn't... couldn't go along."

And he takes a sip of his tea, because CAFFEINE IS GOOD FOR NERVES

The tea is good.

Miriam steams quietly.

Zara is withdrawn - head down, shoulders curled, arms tightly wrapped.

"Good" He sips "good. You are both part of each other's world and that is a good thing. Now, Miriam, I know you're proud, but my family will be happy to continue to help... and I have one more idea. Why don't see if the farmhold has need of some textiles. You offer them service for a fair price, and become their exclusive textile expert that they don't do themselves. You don't have to live in Iowa... that's fine, but every now and then the DeBukes could send someone to pick up packages and work etc. What do you two think? "

"Earl, stop..."

"I.." he shrugs, and looks to Miriam

Miriam chews on a hangnail, thinking. "Could maybe. Not takin' charity...." She trails off. "Yeah. Guess you better -stop.-"

She scrubs at her eyes, frowning.

Miriam scowls, savaging any hope of a manicure.

Earl sips.

And a small voice speaks up "Is...everyone mad or something?"

it's a whisper, only heard because all others were silent save for attacking finger nails

"Always mad, kiddo."

Zara winces and hides her face in her hands again.

"Uhm.. I colored some spiders.. see this one is like 1122" He holds up a coloring book. He's used the right colors, "I stayed in the lines. it's not like I'm a little kid after all. I'm 7 and a quarter." He says "earl gave me this book, but I thought you might like this, sister? I can tear it out"

Earl can see Miriam swallowing it down hard; she's going to give herself an ulcer.

Shakily, trying to mask her distress from the childling. "Oh, that is very well done Jacob... but you needn't tear it out. It's in a book, and we take care of books. Keep it, aye?"

"If you show it to 1122 he'll preen terribly."

"I'll keep it' He says somberly as if he will now guard it with his young life, and then a slight toothless smile "And he would? Cool. I'll show it to him. I like him. Will he be there at my saining? Will you? It's overdue and I need it says the Mountain." his whisper grows more 'just between us' "Your troll friends are nice, but they pick awfully grand titles for folks who aren't titled. Mountain, Storm, Hearth... they're huge, what do they have to be trying to live up to?"

"Giants. In the dreaming, they are giants."