#debukefarmhold

"What's to talk?" She shrugs, looking down at her tea.

Miriam gives Earl an exasperated look over the sluagh's head.

"Jacob, why don't I show you some of my paintings.. " Then he stops "maybe not, they're kiond of scary"

"Scary?" The boys eyes light up

"yeah, I forgot you're only 7"

Miriam's expression intensifies, threatening.

"Very scary. There's this one with spiders..."

Miriam swallows another mouthful of coffee. "Well. You tell me." to Zara.

"Spiders? MOooom.. please?" The boy looks at her

"Yeah, fine." Absently.

Earl nods, "I'll show you." Then he moves to Zara, gives her a kiss, and whispers in her ear gently 'Want me to drop him off and be right back, or give you two some time alone? either way..even if I'm not here . I'm here for you. She ..wants to try to do right by you too I think"

"Some space, aye?"

Earl nods, then says "Come on Jacob... if you're sure... there maybe some with ghosts too"

The boy somehow keeps up despite Earl's larger stride

"Trolls. Always think you should just say everything. Just.. out loud and bald and... " A huff.

Miriam shrugs. "Yeah, well... saves time."

"Feh."

"An', ya know.... simpler." another shrug.

"So. Like..... you wanna talk or not?"

She grimaces. "Don't like talking. Easier... like.. it's easier with Vashti..."

"I don't know what to say."

"Pooka's easier, huh?" She glowers at the floor and then tries to smooth the expression off her face. "Well. You wanna know the plan?"

"Easier to open up to one, yeah. Want to or not."

"So. Plan, aye?"

She makes a little grunt of dissatisfaction (which, in fairness, is the ground-state of nockers). "Look. You're goin' ta college Upstate, right? You still plannin' on that?"

She squirms and nods. "Vassar, if it all works out. I was accepted at Vassar."

"Yeah, but is that what you want?"

She shrinks. "I want to be a librarian." Apologetic.

"An' you wanna go to Vassar for the paperwork for that, right? Look, I wanna -understand-...."

Her shoulders curl inwards and she shrugs. "It's... it..."

"It's pretty there."

"Ok, like, I'm gonna assume that means yes and if it don't you gotta tell me, ok?"

"So yer gonna ta college. An' that's good! As long as it's what you want."

"Now... obviously, Jacob can't go ta college yet. Or work. Past, you know, chores; he can't get a paycheck yet. An' he might not eat much but he's gotta eat somethin' and live somewhere, right?"

She nods.

"So whaddya figure we do about that?"

"You said you were retiring."

"So... you, aye? You will take care of him?"

"Yeah." She confirms. "Well. Can't ask anyone else ta do it, can I?"

She shakes her head. "Could, maybe, but you wouldn't... you... I mean, you want to be his mother... aye?"

There's a long silence. "Truth?"

She nods. "Truth, please."

"Can't tell 'im. Keep it a secret between us?"

"I am good with secrets."

"Yeah." A quick, sharky grin. "I know." She takes a gulp of coffee. "I wanted you, Zara. I mean, when I found out I was pregnant.... I wanted you. Told Hirim ta go fu.... fuss at someone else. I was gonna have you. Jacob's a great kid, but I don't remember any of it. I can't say I -wanted- him. Figure, you both got the shit-end of the stick for fathers, so that's a wash. An' yer both stuck with me as far as that goes, mother-wise. You got Hannah, though. Jacob.... he's got no one."

"...wanted..." She bites on her lip, studying the tea. "Aye. He's alone."

"But you do want him, now - aye? He's... precocious. Smart."

Miriam rolls her eyes and takes a slurp of coffee as if the drink has insulted her before saying "He's ok. Not drek. Look, you an' me probably ain't gonna have the kind of, you know, 'relationship' like we woulda if... if things had been different. Stupid to think we could have, you know, mother-daughter stuff 'cause you're grown an' I'm old an'.... ya know, all that spilled milk over the bridge an' shit.... but maybe we can make it somethin' else. If you want." She shrugs.

A faint echo. "Yeah, stupid."

"Too old."