#bergen_county

"M...maybe you should go now." She says, her voice low, trembling as she tries to keep it steady. "I'm sorry."

-Now- he looks crushed.

"I know it sounds trite and stupid. Adam... you didn't do anything bad... it's not you, it's me. My insecurities... and my demons. Maybe someday..." But she breaks that off. "I don't want you holding out on a someday. We can't know that. So we can maybe... just look back, and say, it was nice, what we had?"

Disbelieving and devastated. "But..... Piper, don't you want.... I get that it's something you have to .... to work on for you. Like, do it yourself. But can't we.... work on whatever on our own.... like, together?"

He takes her hand in both of his. "I love you."

"I need time away from a relationship while I work through this all... and asking you just to hang on for physical comfort, because that's all I think I would be able to give right now... or to hold onto this even though it doesn't feel right to me, so that I could stay by your side... that's not fair to you, or to either of us. It would be another lie."

Oh, it hurts. That shows in his eyes, the set of his mouth. He really doesn't look like he understands how they got from a reunion post-Raid to a break-up.

"...I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. And I'm sorry I lied. And didn't tell you about who I was - what I was. I'm sorry that I was jealous, and insecure. Please... tell Nab that I'm sorry too. You DO deserve better. Someone who understands, and can accept you for who you will become. I'm sorry if I can't be that person... and I'm sorry if hurt you, trying to be."

"You didn't lie! Piper I didn't ask! Who you -were- doesn't matter to me, not like that. And who knows what will happen with me? I'm not a Sidhe, not yet. Maybe never! Please, Piper? I love you, I don't want to lose you. I want to help you with this!"

She pulls her hands away. "A lie by omission is still a lie! I let you think I was someone I'm not. I used you - your lust, your love, to distract you whenever you would ask. And it's not just who I was. it's who I AM. I told you, even the Mirror Cells didn't make me feel bad for what I did. I had to nearly fuck a rapist and see their victims to even THINK about what I had done. I don't WANT to be with anyone. I don't want you to be with me! I need to be alone and deal with what I did, and you're trying to make it better is just making me feel worse." Her Satyr emotions finally flaring free. "Just, please go!"

His mouth opens a few times and he finally croaks. ".... sorry." Before he staggers to his feet and away to the stairs. Shoulders tight, he plods down them.

She watches him go for a moment, emotion warring over her face - the urge to go after him... but then something falters, and she turns away.

Distantly she can hear a car engine start, and the tires squeal as it drives away.

At the sound of his car she hurries down the stairs and out in front - but he's already gone. Hooves clatter as she runs back up to her room, throwing the lock on the door. Reaching out she fumbles for her clock radio, and flips it to the first station that comes on - she doesn't even care what the music is. A quick text sent to a number in her recents - Sylvi. "Sry. I tried." And she mutes the phone, letting the radio down out any sound as she buries her face in a bed pillow.