#bergen_county

"Four redcaps?!" She squeaks. "How was that BORING?"

"Well there were three of us! And I think we had some help, too, 'cause I heard guns but none of us three had any. Yeah, it was pretty much one on one."

"It was you, and Frank, and who else?" She runs a hand through his hair, and one over his arm, as though checking for wounds. "You're not hurt at all, were you?"

"One of 'em tried to bite my arm, and another was going after the back of my neck, but not a scratch!" He assures her. "Mr. Lut was with us."

"I have trouble telling him from Mr. Tig sometimes." She admits. "I've only seen either of them a couple times and we've not talked, so I just call them Thane." A small smile. " I'm glad you're okay. And that you were able to help them get those people away."

"Hey, -you- were inside with the action!" He sits with her. "Tell me about it?"

She hesitates a while before responding. "It was... confusing. Lots of stuff going on. I was able to distract the guards, and Dagmar whalloped them good so they wouldn't be getting up any time soon." She rubs at an arm distractedly. "The Balor in charge got into a big fight with the chieftain, and got her a few times with an iron knife before she managed to take the sidhe down. "

"I knew she was hurt but..... shit." He brushes her hair back. "I gotta say, Piper, between us.... I really hated getting reassigned like that. I wanted to be with you. Are you ok?"

She starts to reassure him, but then stops. "...No. Not really. Seeing the people there took me to a bad place. And the sidhe..." She shakes her head, not finishing that. "I wasn't injured though."

"Hey......" he holds her gently "S'ok. They're ok, they're going to be. I helped get them out of the trailer to Mrs. Lee. They're getting showers and food and rest and help. They won't have to go back."

"Adam... do you ever wonder why I don't like... why I'm uncomfortable around a lot of sidhe?"

He shifts to look at her. "I figured.... because of how they look? You know, hard to look at, but you just can't -stop- looking?"

A small shake of her head. "No... that affects everyone. I mean, it's a whole lot on it's own. But..." She fidgets a bit. "I came here because I was banished from Pacifica. For being a violator of the Escheat. I was... jailed for a while. And then kicked out. I was lucky that the Wayburtons... and River Vale was willing to let me in. But I have bad associations with that Count, and his court."

Adam looks shocked, yes. "You.... you?"

Piper gives a small nod. "That's why I can't go back. Mexico was so nice... it was like an echo of where I grew up, but not quite the same. It's the Kingdom of the Feathered Serpent, but I still wasn't sure I should even go. I had to check with the Chief, and... I think that's why she let me go representing Rivervale. To authenticate my visit." ...I'm sorry, Adam. That I hid this from you."

"What did you do?" With an almost innocent curiousity.

"I didn't want you to know." She twists the thermos in her hands, playing with the cap.

"Oh. No, that's ok, Piper. You don't have to tell me."

"And, like.... you got jailed and exiled? Sounds like you, you know. Did your time?"

"No. I think I should." She glances at him, then away. "I... my tragos and I. We were Ravagers." Voice soft, almost sluagh hard to hear. "We were on the road most of the time, and would pick out dreamers from our concerts, or that we met at parties along the way. It was easy to find people interested in meeting the band. The backstage tour." Not meeting his eyes. "At first it was just my friends. But then they convinced me to try it, too. Musing takes too long, and I was holding up the show. And this was so simple, so easy. And there are always more dreamers, they said... and they were right. Or I thought that they were."

Adam listens.

"Ravagers.... that's taking Glamour, right? Like, taking it and then the Dreamer can't make more?"

"It's not taking. It's stealing. It's... leading them on, then breaking what they thought they beleived, and ripping it away. Saying it's like taking glamour is like saying that the guards at the factory last night were 'taking affection' from the prisoners."

Adam is quiet a minute. "It's rape."

She flinches slightly at that statement. But... after a moment, a small nod.

He takes her hand to hold.

"I didn't see it like that. Not then. Not even after being in the Hall... in the Count's prison. I still thought I was just being judged unfairly. After all, I turned in my own motley for their worse crimes. Didn't that earn me something?" A small, bitter laugh. "Besides being unfaithful to kith and trag'. I got a reduced sentence and the boot. And figured if I could just pretend it never happened, it would go away. Even with this reminder haunting me." A glance over at her mirror-moth chimera.

"Is that what that is? Does it hurt you?" Adam frowns at the mirror moth.

"It reminds me. Of the hall of mirrors. Being trapped inside with my own reflection flashed back at me over, and over, and over. That's why it's called Jiminee. It's supposed to be my conscience, like that cricket from Pinocchio." She turns her head so that she can't see it, then turns her eyes downward as it follows along at the corners of her vision.

"But...... Fae have to have Glamour, right? Otherwise you...... Fade." he remembers lessons "So, if you didn't have any other way to get it..... I mean, rape is about power and control but if it was a matter of survival?"

Piper bites her lip. "We had other ways. This was just... easier. A challenge... a game. Not like the work of musing, you need to spend time and effort and get to know a mortal for that... And Rand thought it was more fun. He was head of our tragos, and we followed his lead. But he didn't... force me into it. I could have found other ways. I could have left. I didn't."

Adam still has her hand. "That's.... a lot." He agrees quietly.

"It's part of why I wasn't sure I should go on your quest with you... the one for trying to help get rid of the virus. I shouldn't be teaching anyone how to muse. I might not mean to, but what if I slipped and did something wrong, and it's a slippery slope to doing the same thing I did?"

"Are you sorry you did it? Do you want to do it again?"

Her head rocks back and she gives him an incredulous look. "How can you ASK-" ...but then takes a breath, and shoves away the sudden flare of emotion. "No. I wasn't sorry. Not after getting out, or coming here. I was just glad I was free, and knew that I had to find another way around it in the future." A flick towards Jiminee. "And I couldn't do it again. Not and get away with it. Even if I hadn't been sent to a Barony half-run by a Liam troll to keep an eye on me."

"I'm sorry, Piper! I'm just trying to understand!"

"There's not a whole lot to understand. I'm a ex-con who messed with mortals like you, because it was easier and quicker then getting glamour a noble way. Not even caring if it left them broken behind me - because I didn't even think about their future, or what would happen to them. Life goes on, the tour moves on, and there are more mortals, more dreamers, always at the next stop up the road. You see why I didn't want to tell you? Why I wouldn't want anyone to know? That's the understandable part."

"But.... that just..... that doesn't sound like the Piper I know." sadly.

"I've tried hard to be a different person here. But that doesn't change what I did. And seeing those people... it made it.. sink in, really. I can't blame it on not knowing - I was taught the Escheat, I had my year and a day and more. I just did what was easier. When I was with them, we were a moon tragos, and it was just how we lived... change is good, honor is a lie... and glamour is free."

"Unseelie." He says to confirm.

She nods. "I think a lot of goats flirt with their moon sides. Passion before Duty is really tempting when passion runs in your blood and soul."

"And I didn't much care for the nobler pursuits after being ditched by a 'Nobleman' who wore his Seelie badge as proud as his Lion emblem. Seelie doesn't make you a good person." She bites her lip. "But Unseelie doesn't make you shitty either. I have to own that one myself."

"-That- guy was a jerk." Adam says firmly.

"It's not about him, though. I... I'm telling you this for a reason." She reaches for his hand again, or if still in hers, gives it a squeeze.

She still has it. Adam looks a little trepidatious. "Yeah?"

"I know we've butted heads over misunderstandings a bit, but you've been.... it's not that..." A few false starts. "I think I need some time by myself. I have a lot... to unwrap here. To work through. I'm... confused, and messed up. And I need to figure this out on my own. And I think your path is leading you in another direction. You'll be a sidhe noble, a knight probably at least, maybe even higher rank. You'll have to figure out who the person you're going to be is... and I need to figure out who I am now, and come to peace.. or at least terms.. with who I was."

Adam stares at her, replaying the words.

"And I don't blame you if you hate me, knowing what I did. I think I might hate myself now too. But I AM sorry I lied to you about who I was."

"You..... I......."

"Piper....."