#scarsdale

"You can't. I know, okay? I know, I know, I know. I need to not be so... useless, and stupid, and selfish, and... and I know, okay?"

"I don't know why you say you are useless and stupid and selfish, when you are clearly not." Aaron seems puzzled, the kind of curious he gets when he sees a sum that doesn't add up.

She rubs at her nose with the back of her hand and shrugs.

Now Aaron exchanges a look with Hannah; perplexed meets long-suffering.

"Well. At some point there I thought we had a plan...." Ratchet grumbles quietly.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I should just go away."

"Make it easier."

"I'm sorry, Ratchet. I'm sorry about the library. I'm sorry I... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked to see... I... "

"Zara, don't you dare." Hannah huffs. "You're my girl and you'll stay right here."

"I'm sorry about Hirim."

Ratchet shrugs. "The library worked out."

Studying her knotted fingers, mien dimmed. "I just... I just want what's best for everyone, right?"

"Of COURSE you do!" Hannah defends vigourously. "I'm going to -kill- Hirim...."

"I shouldn't have... stupid... I should have kept my mouth shut. I just... "

"I just wanted to know. Selfish."

Hannah simmers quietly as she looks at the remaining menfolk.

Ratchet lifts both hands, palms facing out. "Ok. Ok. Look, let's all sleep on this, you talk with Zara, Zara, decide what you want and just let us know? Come, don't come, stay, don't stay, whatever. Yes?"

"Made things worse. Like always. Ratchet, I'm sorry. I let you down. I... "

"I don't think apologizing helps either."

"....and I don't know what else to do."

Aaron blinks at her. "Well. Do what he asked you to."

"Worth trying."

"I don't... can't... w-wouldn't it be better if I just... if I..."

Ratchet stands, nods to Aaron, offers Hannah a cheek-kiss (she takes it), and kisses Zara's hair. "Good night, Treasure."

Zara hides her face with her hands.

"Oy...." Ratchet mutters. "Hannah, I'll call tomorrow."

Zara stays withdrawn, facing a silent adversary.

With a sigh, he schleps out.

Hannah is still rubbing and fuming.

Zara rubs at her eyes. "I'm sorry. I messed everything up. I'm... Mama? Papa? I'm r-really sorry... I know it doesn't make it better..."

Hannah seems baffled and at a loss. "Zara, why on earth do you think anything is messed up? Or that -you- have to make it better?"

"Because... " she gestures at the door. "I couldn't... couldn't just... I don't know... shut up. I know they're working hard, and I shouldn't make things worse, and that... that I can't... I'm not... I should just shut up..."

"Stay out of the way. I wish I could just..." a small gesture with her hands. Poof.

"Well please don't.' Firmly. "I've had enough of that."

"I know you'd be upset."

"Zara, I know this is radical thinking but...." Aaron speaks mildly. "... why don't you just do what they ask?"

"That is, accept that they love you and want the best for you and want you participating and involved and just... go with that for a while?"

She shrinks, eyes shut.

"That's not... no..."

"No? Well. Why not?"

"I'm... I h-hate being lied to. Hate knowing that... that... that it's just.... I don't... "

"I thought, being... upfront... saying I wanted to... with -her-, and waking her... to see..."

"But it's the same thing. It's always the same thing. Because I'm not... all I did just now was prove I'm not.... not worth... not anything... just... "

Aaron is baffled. "Zara, I've been sitting in the same room as you for the last 30 minutes or more and .... Zara, none of that happened."

"Yes it did!"

"I made a big stupid display, Hirim still won't trust me with anything, and I proved him right by.... by... falling apart and..."

"Zara, none of us, no-one, think that you are worthless!" Hannah affirms. "Hirim left because he didn't want to lose his temper!"

"He -always- does that! Always has!"

"At -me-, for being -stupid-."

"For... pushing..."