#rivervale_lodge

"Just. Maybe."

"I just... maybe I want something that's..."

"Like, trying to keep everything the same, it doesn't work. Things change anyways. People leave, and they leave you behind... and maybe... maybe if I... what would it be if I got to leave and come home?"

Sylvi listens quietly.

"It's dumb."

"Well...you could. You probably should. Weren't you and Symon talking about doing a quest?"

She nods.

"Pffft! It's not 'dumb' at all!"

"Might be tricky with classes and the team...maybe over winter break?"

She laughs, not exactly happily. "You know I daydream about being, like, one of the Red Branch?"

"Oh. Wow. That's...intense. I can see it, though." A little line between her eyebrows.

"Yeah, well, it's not something I can be."

"I don't think I know enough about it. Why can't you?"

"I'd have to leave."

"Well...I mean..." She pauses. "How much would you have to leave? Like...the Lodge, yeah, but...school? Symon?"

"I'm all bound up with oaths - Chief still has my fealty, I swore to her, not the Lodge. And there's my parents, and yeah. Symon. I don't think you can have divided loyalties in the Branch."

"...Have you asked?"

"You don't... listen, I know I can do lots of good here. I'm needed. I can be a fire fighter and a Thane and I can save people, and it matters."

"All true. So...what's the appeal of Red Branch?"

"Because... because they're great. They're the best."

"So...status? Rep?"

"Which is bad, I know." A snort and the start of a scowl. "The other daydream is trying to go off and be an Olympian."

"So, yeah. Bullshit like that."

"I'm not saying it's bullshit. I get the appeal."

"Only assholes dream of being famous."

"I mean, you could do both of those things. You could do a LOT of things. You're that good."

A frown. "I don't think that's true."

"And I don't think you'd be satisfied with fame if it didn't include helping people, too."

"Like, I don't want to be... " Hand-wavey. "A celebrity."

"But, like, Brekke didn't become Brekke by staying home."

"No. You don't want fame. But you want...recognition, right?"

"Everyone here appreciates me. I know that."

"Hey, she also had less time to do things in. Started when she was older than either of us."

"She had to do a LOT, and do it fast."

"What I'm saying is, you've got time, right?"

She shrugs.

Sylvi takes a few paces to consider her words again.

"I like the idea of you competing in the Olympics."

"It's not fair."

"Have there been other Kithain who've competed?"

"I dunno."

"But I'm not a regular person, and even for a troll, I'm.. a lot, yeah? So it's not fair."

"I guess." She frowns. "Unless...."

"They're dumb."

"They're things I won't do, not really."

Sylvi doesn't respond. She's frowning over some thought she's just had.

"I'm doing so much more than I ever dreamed I would, before I came here."

"I have absolutely everything I wanted."

A little snort at the last. "You're too young to have peaked."

A huff. "But that's what it feels like."