#rivervale_lodge

A grimace. "Well, I get how that all happened now, too."

"I shouldn't have broken the chain with such haste, with all that happened. And she... she was asked to do it."

"Perhaps. But you could not have known that, yes?"

"Hard to feel like a righteous rescuer there, all justified." Her brow is heavy, eyes dark. "But no, I didn't know that."

She shakes her head. "You know Symon well, and you knew something was wrong. You did the best you could in the effort to save him."

"And right now, it did work out. But I'm pretty happy to never see her again."

A nod of agreement.

"Even if she's not a cartoon villain, just a bitch."

"Hm." Slightly amused agreement.

"Still...destruction of a treasure...the Dreaming draws a cost for doing so."

"Yeah. Vali suggested doing a quest in the Dreaming, to reclaim a lost treasure. And now that all the glamour buzz is gone, I can feel the cold from it."

"I think Vali is wise in this."

"It would set the balance right."

"I don't regret it. Even if I want to tear myself up about how it could have been better or different. Symon's back. I have my best friend back."

A nod. "I see it thus: Symon was suffering from a self-inflicted condition, and you helped recover him. Your act now causes you to suffer, self-inflicted due to your actions. If Symon can be part of the quest, it further sets the balance."

A chuckle. "Oh, like I don't know about needing help from self-inflicted shit. Okay, yeah, that probably explains why he's not as mad at me as I think he should be."

An answering chuckle, and she rests a hand on Dagmar's shoulder briefly. "Yes, good."

She releases her and moves towards the Lodge. "Where is Symon now?"

"I dropped him at his house. Doubt he's getting past Anne-Marie."

"Ah." A sound of sympathy for poor Symon.

She shakes her head. "She's his mom. She'll take care of him."

"She will." A pause. "I regret I did not see what was happening more clearly. You see...I understand something about trying to let go of love, due to necessity." A slight smirk. "It can be a noble effort, but it is damaging."

"Yeah. And... I hurt him, and that caused the riff. And... honestly? Part of me is still..." Frowning. "Afraid."

"Of?"

"And it's hard to say what I'm afraid of, exactly. Symon wouldn't hurt me. Him being there but not there, being gone, that hurt. Watching him with her hurt."

A nod. "Symon would not hurt you, intentionally. But it is painful to see him in pain, yes? And perhaps that is what you fear. For there will be future hurts. That is part of living."

"But the idea of... " she rolls her hands, searching. "being a 'Beloved.' Like... like receiving that?"

"Oh, ahh." A nod. "You question if you are worthy."

She chews on her lip and nods.

"I'd take a bullet for him. I wouldn't hesitate. That's the easy part."

"What is the hard part?"

"Getting over myself, maybe. The idea that..." She falters, and tries again. "I'm not Arwen, right? Or... or someone you write poems to. Rah-rah Dagmar Hammerstrike Slayed a Beast, sure."

She stops her slow steps toward the Lodge and gets a faraway look. "I once thought that of myself," she admits quietly. "Not worthy of such, and anybody making such gestures would only do so for a comic effect. And then..." a fond expression "... somebody convinced me he was not joking." A glance to Dagmar. "I do not think Symon is joking. I think he believes you worthy. Worthy of all of it."

A queer ache clutches her chest, and she nods.

"He isn't joking. He wouldn't. But.. you ever... it feels like a trust fall. Hoping he'll catch me."

A nod. "And that is the beauty of real love. He can believe it for you, when you cannot believe it for yourself."

She adds in a cautionary tone, "It is a gift never to be taken for granted."

"I get that. As much as it hurts, I don't want to forget how it felt without him."

"It was like missing my arm. Like a whole piece of me had been taken away."

A nod. "I understand. And I am glad that you are whole once more. The chill, that can be dealt with. But you are whole."

She nods. "And he's him. Even if we didn't oath, he's him again."

"Good. I admit, I cannot say I had noted much difference, as I have not seen him often for many months. But I believe it was so, and I believe you when you say it is better now."

"He's very private. But... lots of little things, to... to shave off his sharp edges, to make him more palatable, more conventional."

"To make him less him, yes?'

"Yeah. And even then, it was never enough for her." A huff. "I really dislike her."

"Mm." Agreement.

Then another look at Dagmar. "You appear weary."

"It has been a long-ass day, yeah."

"Then come and rest." She indicates the Lodge. "Advise your family that you are staying here."

"Do they know yet?" indicating the bird.