#rivervale_lodge

She opens Number 8.

'Great news. I'm getting rave reviews, good grades. Great grades. Bad news? I'm having nightmares. I've always had plenty of REM, you know? But lately, the dreams are.. 'more adult' is what Dyana tells me. But I'm not crazy about them. I didn't come here to be Stephen King's fangirl I... I think I've made a mistake. Some other girl, one I never met before, told me to 'PLEASE think happy thoughts' .. I mean who the fuck just blurts that out? I.. nevermind. I'm sorry. I know you're done with me I get it. I ... I miss you is all. I just ...I don't like my dreams anymore. I am thinking of changing majors'

FROWN.

When she hands that one over, Brekke reads....

...then looks over at her.

She scratches at her face, hard enough to break skin.

"Stop." A firm order.

Chastised, she balls her hands into fists and bounces them restlessly against her jostling knees.

She nods at the self-control, then says, "We have work to do. This is now a matter of rescue."

There is another letter, the last one

With a jut of her jaw, Dagmar takes it.

It is a full 2 months after the one before it 'Dear Samantha. I apologize for my obvious departure of my senses. I've been told it could be a sign of co dependency. I send this last one to inform you that I won't be flooding your mail with scripts you're too polite to critique to you again. In fact I won't be writing scripts. Dyana was furious, but I did not care for how I was having such negative thoughts. I changed my major but the odd dreams still comes.. couldn't overcome them with will power. That's why I got the pills. They're keeping the dreams at bay. I'm more reasonable now. I don't get distracted by daydreams . My scholarship still covers my accounting study. Good solid work. I'll be heading home this summer. If I see you, I see you. If I don't, I understand you've decided to ghost me. I guess we all grow up. It just took me longer than you. Sincerely, May. PS: JImmy is acting very fussy. I DO hope he's not a burden to you. Txt me if you want, like normal people'

Dagmar shoves the table and the letter away, possibly tipping it over or breaking something.

She does tip over her chair as she stands and paces.

A brow, and she steadies the table before reading the letter.

Her hand goes to her face, but she yanks it away and traps both hands in her armpits.

Another heavy sigh, and she sets the letter aside. A silence.

"ican'tfixthis, ican'tfixthis, ican't..."

"Stop. You do not know the future." She taps her finger atop the last letter. "In some ways, this brings us good news. She has already broken with her harmful muse. You will not need to contend for the right to her."

She stops, though her breathing is harsh.

"She rejected that muse. This speaks well. But she turned to a different solution, a banal one. We must win her back from that banality."

"She called me Samantha."

A brow. "You are truly surprised?"

"We're not friends anymore, I can't keep friends, and I can't..."

"I KNOW it's my fault, you don't have to tell me it's my fault."

"I didn't think she'd get hurt..."

"Symon found a new best friend, just fine."

"Yes, it is your fault. Now you fix it. She got hurt because you feared you would be hurt. Now we must heal her hurt."

Brekke blinks at this, but decides to leave it aside for now.

"Dagmar, we have work to do. I will help you, as will any of us whom you ask. We must aid her."

"I don't know how to fix this."

"Nor do I. Yet. But not knowing now does not mean it cannot be done. Neither you nor I are the wisest in the world. We must not assume that we must have all the answers."

"Do you think you can go to her? Reach out? You will likely receive anger from her, and be hurt, but can you withstand that?"

"I'd rather she be angry."

"Than that."

Brekke nods. "Good." She consider the letters. "Do not imagine this will be fixed with one conversation. But one conversation must begin it."

A hiccup.

Brekke looks like she was about to say something else, but instead she stands and rests a hand on Dagmar's shoulder.

Honestly, just breathing without bursting into tears seems to be taking most of Dagmar's effort right now.

Oh, she absolutely understands that struggle. She lets Dagmar take as long as she needs.

She manages to gulp it down, bury it in stone.