#rivervale_lodge

She frowns.

"Did you kill?"

"Aye. I did. An AUtumn person. He was also a murderer, and a rapist, and a slaver. Tantalus didn't go near him... but I had to.. and he eroded my spells and myself. Had I not slain him, the mission would have failed utterly Tantalus would have been alerted and everything changed or sped up. " A breath "I am sorry, Zara. I did not want you to think less of me. But it did happen, and I cannot undo it."

"It has happened, it cannot be changed. And thus, you must learn to live with it."

Another frown. "He would have killed you. Mayhaps not a'purpose - but..."

"No, I'm pretty sure he'd have killed me on purpose if he knew I was a spy" A pause "And maybe even if I annoyed him. Cold blooded in more ways than one that way"

"Aye, but his presence. You lack protection."

"And I'm vulnerable like a sidhe on top of it" A nod "Aye"

"It is not on me to be angered at you, or to judge you - or to forgive you. My faith is mine own."

"And a few other folks in the New YOrk State area rumor has it" She says "Nevertheless, I do not like disappointing folks I care about . Tis done"

"Well. I am not disappointed."

"Yeah?" she perks

"I suspect that you need to come to terms with yourself - aye, there are justifications, but methinks it galls thee. So... what I would wish to see, Siv, is for you to seek peace with yourself."

A pat on the hand "You're kind. And what I would like to see is... any steamy victorian clutchcover fiction you've got hidden away"A smile "I may not be your best friend but darn it I thought I was in the top 20.. why no peek?"

She pinks again.

"Oh, it's... no, my little scribbles are... they're not very good..."

"It's not for me to judge thee either" A brow "Come on. I promise not to correct your spelling.. like you doing that weird thing where you use S's where there should be a Z, or spelling color with a U"

Light teasing

"Oh, but colour is so much more romantic with a u..."

"And see... I'm not arguing. Come on... you got a dream writing quill, debts settled aside that has to be worth at least one of your stories?"

Huff.

"Well.... I can email you one."

"And I hearby give my 'not quite an oath but still a promise' not to share it without your permission" She brightens

"Thank you, Siv."

"Thank you. I know , it can be rough, a bit of yourself. " Another look at the quill "It'll be better in your hadns anyway. I'd just use it to send dirty dreams to Jonas" A grin

"Well.... I could surely lend..."

"oo could you? I mean, after you've tested it a few times?" Siv's good cheer is on the rebound and then some

Pink, but she smiles.

"For my friend, aye."

"Thank ye, and I don't speak of just ah.. romantic dreams. Your kith prides itself on educational nightmares and the like aye?"

"Oh, that is your true purpose - the sluagh educate the wicked."

"Well they could use it" she nods primly

"Aye." Sip.

A long sip, and Siv seems to soaking in the peace and quiet of the place. "I shall have to get back to the Baroness tonight. I hope she's pleased."

"I hope she slaps a lion on your breast as soon as you cross the threshold."

A bite of her lip and a low whisper "I hope it too, but I don't... I don't want to go in with expectations, you know? Better to realize it was a team effort and she is a busy woman"

"It was a team effort, aye. And you know I care not for noble trappings - but you do."

"Oh it's not the noble part so much as waht Fiona fights for, Zara. Romance, Adventure, Love. I know you don't need to be a Fiona to value or champion these things, but I understand them.. it's a rare thing to find folks what understand you like that"

"You must needs pursue your dream."

"And I support you in that, because, again - you are my friend."

"And you are mine. I just wish I knew what you dreamed of so I could help make it come true"

"Well... truth?"

"I have so much that makes me happy, now."

"My love, and my library, and Bronte and the spiders..."

"You know, I didn't think I liked SPiders but I adore 1122.. he's a charmer and a swashbuckler "

"Oh, he is! And the Sisters tolerate him."

"Siiiiiiiv?" Comes the childish call as Connor trots up the steps, then stops to knock mud from his sneakers. "Did you find your peanut-snackers?"

"more than tolerate I suspect though I don't blame them for not letting him kn-" She turns "Connor? Yes I did. Please, you have a guest"

"I do?! Is it you?"

"Not JUST me" She assures