#rivervale_lodge

"That I can relate to. Got this big beautiful long ship, I can fly ANYWHERE... in theory, but it's not mine mine really, it's more ours mine at best. And my father is so.. he worries he'll drive me off I think.. so he tries not to hold too tight and mom's shown a lot more trust and I don't want to fail them so I want to see the world, but I also want to keep an eye on my folks you know? i LIKE my folks. I love my da, love my mom, and ...I just can't find the balance and that's the hard part isn't it? Chasing your dreams but not feeling like you've lost other dreams you cheerish"

"Exactly!"

"When I thought my family had forgotten my birthday, I felt so selfishly hurt. like they'd cast me out... between that and whatever is going on with..well, another thing that i wasn't let on, I just felt on the outside and it made me a wreck. So I'm not sure why they think I'm going to sail off into the sun set and never come to homeport again"

"Parents worry, it's what they do."

"I guess. I just..argh. I know what i'm doing. or.well, I know as much about what I'md doing as they did about what theyw ere doing at my age? You know?"

"Right, they act like they were never teenagers..."

"Yours too huh?"

"Yes!"

"Oh da's much better about it now, but therew was a time any boy came near me, and he was grr and .. you know, I like flirting. Not every girl does, but i do. And mom can't relate to me because she was very awkward, but I am glad when she mentions it anyway. It's just neither seems to understand things have changed and that I need to .. .you know, check things out. Not just romance, but quests and exploration"

"I just started doing it and begging pardon later. I'm a wilder, I'm sained, I'm an adult."

"Yeah, but if I do that? I get the whole 'trolls don't do that""

"Feh."

"Easy to Feh, but my mom really believes work arounds are the same as flat out lying or defiance. It makes me nuts"

A sigh

"I mean, Gwydions and honor, trolls and honor... but mix em? And then put it in Mom Jeans? A nightmare" She has not been still while they talked, using their energy to not just clean dishes but counters and more

"But you don't have to be her..."

"Jessica found her own way..."

"Yeah, well, I'll have to take everyone else's word on that..." A sigh

"Sorry?"

She shakes her head "Sorry, something going on with Sis, but no one will tell me about it. I'm trying not to pry buut it goes to that feeling shut out thing. And ssometimes I think it's because Jessica went off and became a hero that they're afraid I'll leave them too. It's..hard to explain. I don't know if she made things harder for me by being amazing or harder for me by being gone. I mean, Ill never live up to what she's done ...saving a chunk of dreaming, dozens of lives, fighting children of Lilith? She's like a legend. But at the same time mom and ddad hold on so tight that even when they trust me to go I have to assure them by being GPSed and taking my phone. And I thank them for it. Because for them, it IS a big step. I get that. But I really do envy Jessica at times. Though i know I'd never be able to fill her shoes." A pause "Litterally, she's got big feet even for a troll girl"

"How do you know you won't? I mean, I've done some things I'd never thought I'd do..."

"I'm not wired that way.. I don't.. a leader needs to take the future and past into account. Me? I live in the now. I don't look before I leap"

"So? You don't have to be a 'leader' to make a difference, or do something great."

"You're independent - you took it on yourself to find the lost day, nu?"

"True, but.. well...yes I can fight prodigals..h eck, I did didn't I? " A smile "you were there and then. but.. Jessica I don't know, she's more like mom than I am, blood relation or not. And everyone in the family is so..'does this make sense' and 'is it honorable' now, I'm seelie... Death Before Dishonor is on me list...but it's not the TOP of my list, you know? I'd actually put love and beauty over that. And i get a bit petty on the repaying debts. Maybe i whould have made a better member of another kith"

"I guess I'm saying I'm pretty okay, in a family of GREATS. And that makes me feel like not so okay"

"Feh."

"You have naught to be ashamed of, Siv Waveborne."

"Kind of you to say, and .. you might be right, technically, but doesn't change how I feel." Then a smile "Isnt against a teenage girl rule for us to 'feh' each other's drama?"

"Well, I might not be very good at being a "Teenage Girl" on multiple fronts. I am also an oddball sluagh. So!"

"You are? I don't know many slaugh besides Symon. Don't know what's expected? what, were you supposed to greet me with a long look at my palm's life line then break into a cackle or something?"

"Ha. No - I am by most measures quite... ah.. gregarious. Social to an unseemly level."

"I love them, but I do blame my family."

A smile "well, yeah, I've only met a few nockers but they're not afraid about giving opinions. And Boggans are the social kith. I'm not expected to be so chatty either. My mom and da I love them, but half their conversation iw with brows and forehead" She gestures to hers 'See, this means 'confusion' " a shift 'This brow means concentration... and then this means 'explain and explain well, your life may depend on it'"

A soft laugh.

"i'm only partly joking" but she does chuckle "well, you do talkk abit more than Symon, but you both seem good people." Asmile "oh he's powerful embarrassed that he looks out for us. Sometimes more than we realize I think. i keep wondering if he.. mmm no way to prove it. But let's just say sometimes things happen at school that seem to redirect trouble come our way"

A shrug. "Sluagh protect what is theirs."

"And, aye, rarely in ways that show."

"Theirs? We've been adopted by Symon?" curious "huh. Our kiths are more alike than I thought"

"And very, very different in other ways."

"oh no doubt. We each have different means to those ends. "

"True."

"About how mom... made you feel unwelcome before. I think that was more who you were affiliated in her head with that your kith . Uhm.. she's not a kithist." Seems to need to stress that

"I am sure! I just... I had thought she disliked me.."

"If she did she knows better now," A firm nod "Just..well , some folks see a trol llodge and assume we only care about our own kith, but my mom helped save Dirk from.. well a bad situation, and he's a redcap, and she listens to complaints from anyone of her people. I get touchy about it when she gets untrue things said about her rule style" she admits

She shrugs. "I am not seelie. Your mother is a Gwydion, and a troll."

"You're not? " That makes HEr surprised "Huh, my mom's not the one with biases so much as me it seems. I assumed"

She shrugs. "That might change around Beltaine. But... I think Gwydions have a sixth sense for it."

"As a rule they don't care for Unseelie, but they can read almost anyone for lies... Seelie, Unseelie, daughters" A sigh and smile "Did I mention I don't get away with much some days? " A thought "oh crap. I should warn ye about Nadeen"

Eyebrow. "Nadeen?"