#rivervale_lodge

"I don't HAVE to!"

Siv says "who said... what the fuck?"

Sylvi shrugs. "My mom says everybody should. But I won't tell her. Not what I was asking, anyway." A close look. "You didn't want to, when it happened, right?"

It slips out of her mouth, perhaps a sign of Autumn's pull on her even if she hadn't crossed over

Dagmar's breath shortens. "Shut up, Sylvi."

"Shut up. Nothing happened, shut up."

"Hey, did some doctor hurt you? Or ..." Siv says then notes the shut up comments "Dagmar. Please."

"No. No, the doctor didn't hurt me. No. I just don't like people looking at me."

"It wasn't the doctor," Sylvi says, still watching Dagmar.

"I don't want anybody looking at me."

"Wasn't the... "Then Siv quiets and she doesn't know if she wants to hug Dagmar and tell her it's okay or grab a boar spear and hunt a mortal

"Did somebody attack you? Or was it...not like that?"

She rubs her nose with the back of her hand. "No. Wasn't. Ain't just. You can't tell Jaymes."

"Jaymes would never blame you for anything like that" Siv says "never."

"No, I..." She looks at Siv. "It's just us girls. This is girl stuff. Won't tell him." A half grin. "Pinky swear, if you want."

She nods at Sylvi "No telling Jaymes"

"No. No. It wasn't... you wouldn't understand, it's different. You're real kids, it's different."

"Well, some would say I'm less real than any here"

"No...but you could tell us, so we can try."

"Was it foster dad? Or foster sibling?"

"Just. Just some kids are different. They ain't good for anything else, you know? Not real."

"Just trash."

"Well, you're not trash" Siv says, "You were treated like it, but that doesn't mean you were or are. Those that do that sort of thing to young girls, they're the trash."

"Yeah, but when the people you count on for food tell you that's all you are....and you're still a little kid...that's gotta suck bad."

She draws her hand to her mouth, chewing the ragged cuticle of her thumb.

"That's why you used to save food all the time, right?"

"I sometimes forget how hard you had it, Dagmar. I'm sorry that I do, but... it's cause you're so cool that its easy to forget your obstacles."

"Stop... don't.. don't look at me like that. That was Sam, not Dagmar. Don't look at me like that, please?"

"I just don't wanna go to the stupid doctor!" Despite herself, tears escape - ugly, angry tears and her nose is running.

A little glance at Siv, then she says, "Okay, not looking. But...the food...I thought it was just in case you got kicked out or needed to run away. But it's cause they couldn't make you do...things...if you had food they didn't know about. They couldn't say you had to or they wouldn't feed you if you had food."

She shakes her head.

"Not looking, not looking I just..." A sigh "I think Sam was brave in her way, that's all."

"Sam was stupid. Sam told."

She rubs her hands against her hoodie, as if wiping off grime, and then grips the edge of the hem.

A desperate look to Sylvi

"And...then what happened?

Sylvi seems to be concentrating pretty hard, so Siv's look goes ignored.

"Then Sam had to go to the doctor, but it's not like... not like you get any proof..."

"What do you mean? No proof?"

"Dunno. Sam's a liar."

Siv is actually not insulted. Thinking Sylvi is working Sylvi and maybe she's got a way to help

Because it's all the Sailor girl can do not to cry out bullshit at the sam's a liar bit, but she keeps quiet.

"Can't say those things about real kids. Not without proof, and there ain't no proof."

"If you went to the doctor...he didn't find any proof? But...you know what happened." She sounds like she's checking that she's got it right.

"Not like it shows. Especially not when you're already used up trash."

Deliberately does not say what she wants to say as trash is used again

"It ain't the same rules. I think those songs are only for real kids."

A silent pause. "It happened...a lot. And Sam didn't tell the first time."

"Real kid stories aren't all the same."

"Sam got taken away, when she was little. All the girls were."