#earthrunes

A kiss of her cheek, "I disagree that that is how he sees you, or else he would not hurt himself so much. But you are right that it is not just about him. I myself hit ...well, I lost my temper because it felt like my honor was worth less to him than his need for martyrshp. So I cannot cast stones at you for this. You are hurt... and I will tend to that as best I may or at least allow you to heal at your own pace. It's.. hard. I want to protect everyone. I guess I'm a bit of a yutz." Blush "But between you and he, there is no choice . I only urged you to speak to him because I thought it would help you.. help your pain. His pain was...well, teritary."

"I can be polite, I can be kind, I can be friendly. I just... I need to remember not to expect to matter. The idea of me matters, I think. Very much, he prostrates himself over the idea. And he would gallantly go to fight for me against a monster."

"he would" Nod

"But it... I cannot expect him to care, I cannot be disappointed when he does not listen or regard... it only opens myself up to being hurt again."

A nod "perhaps he'll. .mature in time, but until then. " A nod "Maybe Coradel will talk some sense into him. She's a demanding woman, but she has a good heart and is, I think, more aware of her biases than many. She loves him. Madly, but she knows this."

"I know she loves him. And he, her."

"And I am not part of that, and he is not part of us, and we are not Musketeers."

"Mayhaps once we were. We are not now."

He holds her, a soft squeeze. "Regret is a powerful terrible muse. I'm sorry"

"I loved him dearly."

"I know. I used to get jealous. Now, I find myself wishing I could magically repair your and his friendship"

"Maybe we are trying to restore something that wasn't real to start with."

"Now that, that I don't believe. I think, maybe we figure if it was never real, it will hurt less to lose it, but we both know that autumn leaves were real once. Just because they've fallen and blown away doesn't mean they weren't"

She pulls away, retreating to the bed.

He watches her go to the bed.

She sits, knees drawn up to her chest. "Or one-sided. You have come to me, Coradel has."

"He has not. Must I go to him, always?"

"No. You must not, but then, he thought he wasn't 'allowed' to" Quote marks and frustrated sigh "The twit"

"Swallow my hurt and let him know that all is well? It is not well!"

"I poured him tea, I have been here."

"If he cared, would that have stopped him? Are you my keeper?"

"I didn't think so" He admits "Hurt that he thought I was trying to ..control you. " a scowl "Like Paler or something"

"Fffft."

"Sorry. I realize he didn't mean it that way , any more than Imeant him to stay away but damn he should know better. He may come to you, let's hope he has the sense to try."

"But I also understand you're under no obligation to just go 'sure, all's good' now when it's not. Just..." A look at her "Let me know if and how I can help. Good, Bad, or whatever- I am here for you"

"I don't know! I don't know how to make it better. I'm.. I'm tired."

"Sleep, love. "

"Not that kind of tired."

"oh" blush "Troll brain kicked in"

"You should go to the party,:

"Mayhaps I could magic you, make it seem you are two..."

"Zara, if you want some alone time I'll leave you alone, but I'm really not in the mood for a party by myself. That's not a guilt trip. it's just a fact"

"I don't... Forgive, I know not what I want. Save for this all to go away, aye?"

"Aye" He nods

And it grows quiet. He doesn't press and he just waits giving her time to decide or time to not decide.

(And everything will eventually be happy gosh darn it.. just not today - End Scene)