#bergen_county

"That's what I sell. Is this for you?" Myrttle Anne says

She looks amused

"Do I LOOK like I prance about in an apron with a spoon like some namby-pamby houshwife?!" Affronted.

"It's okay dear, Prancing takes practice. But I'll take that as a 'not for you'" She says "Now let me see... Sage, Rosemary and Thyme are just a start. Kosher Salt..." She begins to collect the samples

The redcap fidgets, half watching and half checking out the other stuff in the store. Sniffing here and there. "You got anything that smells nice? Like, flowery or shit? The type that girls like. Or..." She frowns, looking for the word. "Those little things that you light on fire and they smell like shit? Not like shit. Like, the smoke smells good."

Herbs are abundant, and there are flowers too... "Incense?" Myrttle Anne says "You have good ideas. Here, this section of here. I have everything from Sandalwood, to Jasmine, to Lavender, and more"

Leaning in she gives a huge sniff, then sneezes, eyes watering.

"Oh ..don't do that" She says. Yes, the advice is one snort and sniff too late

"Here" Clean kerchef "Wipe your eyes"

She swipes at her face, and the kerchief is now a melange of different colors, and her face is a bit cleaner, and eyes cleared, though not much more attractive for the effect. "I don't know. Something like, pretty, but not stuck up. For a girl. Not ME."

The boggan says "Tell me about this girl? What's she like? Is she older than you?"

"It's just this girl who comes around some times. My- my boss likes her. I don't know, she's older, but not OLD like you." Blunt, this one. "And pretty, but that's nothing, they all are, with long yellow hair. She likes dogs but she don't SMELL like when I work with them." A scowl. "it was a stupid idea. A baroness can buy her OWN damn stinks, she won't want any crap I find."

"A baroness? A sidhe? do you know what house? I think I might have some options"

"Not one of the stuckup seelie ones." She answers promptly. "She wears a sunburst."

"Ah, I know just the thing.. a moment"

Hands shove into her pockets and she hunches over, hoping no one sees her here.

She brings out a slender clay jar, russian designs "This is Mumio, often used for good health. It can create a smoke for meditation and more. It's a blend used by Czars seeking cleansing, Shamans and priests alike seeking insight, maidens hoping for visions of the man they would marry"

"A pinch in the fire will go a long way" Myrttle Anne says

“I don’t know if she cares about that marriage stuff. But everyone wants to be healthy.” A glance over her shoulder, she may be running out of time to shop undiscovered. “Yeah, okay. Gimme some of that, and the cooking jars, and. Uh. Some of those smelly flowers there. The blue ones.” Jabbing a finger towards the lavender. “Like in a baggie you can put on your pillow.”

"Right away" She sets it up "Now, are you looking for the special please discount ? Saves 2 percent off my usual prices"

“Oh. The wood troll lady send me. Stove?”

“She said to get a discount because her stupid spice rack comes empty.”

"Oh?" Amused "Well, tell you what, that and saying please and asking nicely will get you five percent off"

She counts out money from her pockets. Does her loot cover these extravagances?

Yeah. With a bit left over but how much depends on one magic word

A growl. That still leaves Linnea and Danica. But maybe she can trick Gwen into buying for them, and just write her name on the box too.

This lady is asking a lot. But, through gritted teeth with a grimace that might pass as a smile:

“ I’m already buying FLOWERS and COOKING SHIT like a home ec brown nosing seelie goody two shoes, so if you will PLEASE wrap it up before anyone sees me here do I can save some goddamn face, I promise I won’t even crop dust on the way out and make people think all your oils went rancid.”

"Well my goodness" A brow "I don't see how manners makes you make you lose face... but.. " A sigh and she takes TEN percent off then says loudly "Oh please, don't glare at me like that...I'll get you the ten percent off you want and wrap it extra good. Just.. just stop being so terrifying" She does not say this as a joke, putting on a pretty good performance sounding scared and intimidated "here's what you DEMANDED"

“Damn straight. You ain’t half bad even if this stall reeks like the bathroom after a Sidhe takes a dump and sprays the entire freshener bottle to pretend like it didn’t happen.” A grin as she gathers up the bags.

"Please, go.. I won't tell ANYONE!"

And a wink

She leaves, and true to her word, leaves nothing behind. BUT, the first Sidhe or otherwise snotty looking patron she passes- she hesitates discretely in their vicinity, the quickly fades off in the crowd, to peek back from a distance when the SBD hits her victim.

A gag sound

She chortles! Then heads off to figure out where she left her troll parked.

Gwen is looking for her "Are you okay? Did you fall in or something? Geez you said it would be a monster but you didn't say it would take forever"

“I went to see if they had one of those guess my weight booths because I’m five pounds lighter now.”

“Didn’t find one. But I bought some things. If you look in any of these bags, you’ll be sorry.” Really, is that the best threat she can think of? She IS going soft.

"What if I reaaallh want to?" A touch of troll mischief, she says it with a straight face

“First I’ll rip off your ears so you can’t hear yourself screaming...” and goes on to add in colorful descriptive ways of how Gwen will suffer a thousand torments. Some may not be humanly possible. At least not twice.

Describing them does seem to put Briar in a jolly mood though.

"Wow, that was pretty good" She says rubbing at her own ears protectively

“I was thinking you should buy something for those Thanes. They keep teaching you shit, you should butter em up so they don’t get lazy about it.”

"Linnea and Danica? Yeah. I know what I want to get them I think"

“Weapon stuff?” She remarks, feeling clever to have wheedled that out.

"Nope. Well, that's actually a safe bet, but no.. come on, let's go to the book vendors"

“Books?!” She groooaaaaaaaaans.

Soon, she's sorting through a collection of novels that have been turnedi nto hard backs by a book binder and sorts "Shhh stop groaning. I'm looking for a very specific genre"

“But we’re not even in SCHOOL.” She can’t help it. “And I ain’t never seen them reading.” Of course, she only sees them when at work on patrols or reporting.

And she s says "AHA! EXCELLENT!" and pulls forth a book , the cover now a hard back but still having a picture of a female cop and a biker caught in a passionate embrace, his fingerless gloved hand in her hair that has come loose under her policewomans' cap, and her leg up against his crotch while her free hand dangles some cuffs. The title says Booked and Hooked by Edwina Blue

"You have to know what to look for when they think they're alone and off duty" Gwen blushes. Maybe she IS unseelie a bit. Some would argue 'snooping' isn't trollish

But it's not likke she snuck into their rooms.