#anywhere

"Speak about the things that upset you. You spoke to me of some."

"Yes. I did" he admits seeming reluctant "I don't want to offend anyone, but yes. A lot recently has upset me"

Adam sits.

"If you offend, others will be able to speak...when it comes to their turn. Please speak."

"I'm very angry with my son and how he treats his mother." Kyle says "Even before she over reacted in avenging him, which she has apologized for repeatedly, he was very disrespectful, lied to her. They WERE Bonding over poetry for a bit, I hoped something would come of that, but he doesn't respect her as a mother, nor as an authority figure. He doesn't respect her period, or so it seems, unless he can get something out of her. He demands that no one can tell him what to do, while at the same time telling his mother what to do. And.. I don't approve of how he treats women."

Brenda blushes with embarrassment at this talk

Red creeps slowly into Adam's cheeks, but he says nothing.

Brekke considers this. "I understand our kith's sense of honor, Kyle. You speak on others' behalf. But speak about what harm he has caused you."

"Or, speak of any harm caused you by any here."

"At times he seems ready to provoke me to a fight, which would go against the code of Dagda, and make me a piss poor father. My own father was too free with spanking, or for that matter, a hard slap. I do not want to play that role no matter how much Adam seems to want to ignore grounding and more. I won't. " A frown "He is disrespectful to me too, in a 'yay yay yey' way. I speak, not only does he not listen, he.. APPEARS to openly disdain. I may not be his biolgogical father, but that man, whoever he is, ran off... I raised him. Now I don't own him. I get he wants to be his own man, but if he thinks others are going to put up with the way he treats me.. he's going to get his face punched some day by said stranger. And.. he's going to deserve it. Forgive me for saying so."

Brenda takes her husband's hand.

"grandpa?" Lily seems horrified "Grandpa beat you?"

Kyle says "not habitually," Stoicly "And not ...always without cause. He was of a different generation"

Brekke nods. "How does this impact you, when you are treated this way?"

"I'm more worried about how it impacts Brenda, And.. ADAM... " he says "it's tearing her apart. She's vulnerable to these riding emotions... and he's going to allienate friends and family in his desperate attempts to 'be sidhe' when he never will be. " A sigh "As for myself... Yes, it DOES impact me. The stress is... building. "

"Only speak for yourself, please, not for others. This goes for all," she looks around the group, then back to Jaymes. "What would need to happen for you to be made whole?"

Kyle says "Sorry, It's hard not to speak for others when.. well, when you care. " He says "i'd like Adam to give us some credit for what we DO allow. We move an inch, he takes a mile. I'd like him to start appreciating the trust we put in him far beyond what most parents, even most fae parents, do... instead of acting like we're monsters for those few limits we still have on him. I need him to stop punishing us with threats, and they are threats, of running away."

Kyle says "If.. i might say, despite my ANGER with my son.. I am also proud of him. He's done great things. he's got a lot of potential. He is, at his core, a good person. Maybe I don't say that enough"

A sigh

Brekke nods. Then she looks to Adam. "There are many things said here. Let us speak of one. Do you remember the event of provoking your father to fight?"

"No."

"Mm. But he does. He is not lying. What does this make you think?"

"I never challenged him to fight. I don't -want- to fight him, even if he sometimes makes me angry enough to hit something."

Brekke nods. "I understand this."

Kyle does not interrupt.

Brenda's hoof taps as she tries to stay contained.

"But what does this make you think, that he believes you have provoked him?"

A glance to Brenda. "This is a long process," she explains without apology.

Brenda nods "Yes. And I'm sure others are just as.. nervous about this as I am.."

A shrug. "We got in a fight. I mean, we disagreed. He unloaded on me, I said what I thought, he didn't like that. Maybe he thought standing up for what I think and believe was an attack?"

"But that is not what you intended?"

Kyle raises a brow but doesn't speak as it is not his turn

"I intended to stand up for myself, yes, but it wasn't an attack."

"Mm. But regardless of intention, your actions and words had unintended impact. Kyle, this is true for you as well...you may not have intended to oppress Adam, but the impact was a sense of oppression. Do you both see this?" ((Sorry for lag, forgot to hit send.))

"I guess." reluctant.

Kyle says "I ..think Adam is assuming his provoking .. or perceived provoking was a one time argument. It's not. But then, in fairness, I imagine he could say the same about my 'opressing' him"

"I wish you all to understand...intent does not make an act good. You may intend only what is right, but have harmful impact. It is our responsibility, all of us, to recognize our impact, even when we know our intent was sound. Adam, what impact does your father describe your actions have had on him?"

"It pis.... makes him angry and stresses him out."

Kyle shoots his son a grateful look for some reason

Adam's leg jogs a little.

A nod. "What has been the impact on you of these encounters?"

A shrug. "Bothers me a little."

An eyebrow.

"Your father has asked for you to appreciate your family more. What do you think would be a way you could do this, could show appreciation more clearly? And yes, you will have time to say more, but resolve this part, first."

He crosses his arms across his chest. "Say it more? And, like.... do my chores and stuff?"

She looks to Kyle. "Would this go towards making the matter whole?"

"I would appreciate it, the thought behind it, but... no, not really. it doesn't fix the problem, does it?" Kyle says "I mean... 'hey, I folded my laundry, now screw you I'm going to go the apartment I've been grounded from' ..in action, if not word, doesn't really fix the lack of respect"

"Mm. This is more specific. And the impact is the same? Stress, frustration?" she asks Kyle.

"Yes. I'm in advertising. I understand the power of words, but I also grasp how they're not action. As for the chores, well.. I have theories on that but it might be assumption on my part. But my point is, the lack of respect still stays, the self destructive beavior ohis part continues... between that, what parent wouldn't be stressed and frustrated? And when it never stops, it builds. "