#rutgers

"Anyway, " Siv nibbles, "Etsie is a good Veep. Patrols around the place have increased, not IN it though. Space respected."

"Hm?" Siv's comment pulls her back from a thought. "Oh, well...yeah. Etsie's no slouch, and she's not going to pull any punches if people screw around too much, either. Hey, how's Piper?"

"Piper's great, she's kind of exploring herself and her past and I'm trying not to get too much in the way but at the same time I want to. "

"That sounds tough."

"Like...wanting to poke your nose in, but knowing you shouldn't."

"Kind of. Boundaries are hard to set in a relationship, but I try. "

A wry grin. "No kidding."

She considers for a moment...then reaches for another donut.

"Right now she's researching notes on Firnost of all places"

"Yeah? I mean, the Lodge has a lot of records on Firnost. Man, I used to devour that stuff when I was little."

"What's she looking for?"

"AH.. hmm well, records on past female satyrs right now. "

"Oh, plenty of those there, sure." A curious look. "But why are you hedging?"

"'AH...hmm well...'" she imitates Siv.

"Fine" Siv says "Dagmar already knows... A while back Piper got curious a bout who her Bio Dad was. Turns out she found out... Dagmar helped her find him.. a pooka named Mickey Boyd, fun guy. But as for her bio mom, the quest contihnues near as we can figure she must have met Mickey at Firnost... but the list is not helping. I KNOW she's not related to Lady Kathy"

"Huh. That's cool that she found her Dad, and that he's fun. I hope her mom is, too. Her bio-moms don't know who her birth mom is?"

Then her brow furrows. "She knows there's a library at Firnost, right?"

"Maybe there's, like, a visitors' registry?"

"If they do, they're not talking about her... near as we can figure it was a bad time for the bio mom so she did what was best for Baby Piper. sweet really" and a grin "Oh, that's where i helped. I got her every census from the years around when she was born, particularly who was in the parliment positions ...but it's a real clutter"

"I should ask mom if she knew any satyresses who remind her of piper" mmm

"Yeah, totally. She probably knows a lot. And she'd have been there during the right time period."

"Definitely time to pester mom then" She says "She's been kind of quiet though. Even by mom standards"

A dubious look. "That's pretty darn quiet."

"Is there something bad going on?"

"I don't know. Da's withdrawn, mom's silent. I'm sure there is, but...truthfully it can be hard to get them to open. They're my parents, and around me, even more than others, they want to seem invincible. Which is funny because when I DO screw up no one gets under their skin like my big mouth" A shake of her head "Truth of the point is, we love each other so much that we can be each other's kryptonite."

"Course I could be wrong about some of that" She adds

She picks a couple of sprinkles off her donut, eating one at a time as she absorbs that. "They're kind of like the opposite of my folks. I mean, my folks don't fight in front of me or anything...but they don't mind teasing each other or being silly in front of other people. I can't imagine them being any other way."

A nod "Yeah, your folks are of a different school of thought. Sometimes I try to imagine my mom and da doing that, and it goes from the comedic , or ends up with the County Burning on fire in a post apocolytpic tragedy. " A pause "I need to stop leaving the TV running into late night B movies while I sleep. Anyway, I think there's trouble but I can't think of how to intrude without making it worse. I suppose I Should trust they love each other and sort it out. I've been trying to stay busy so I can resist the urge to bother them and ask what's up"

Sylvi gives her a bemused look. "Y'know...I know you've lived more years than I have, but I grew up around your folks before you were born, right? And I'm pretty sure you're right -- they'll figure it out. Probably you should be supportive and maybe give them opportunities to talk? But I think if you try to fix it, it'll just get messy."

"And this is why you are a leader and I'm just a dashing swashbuckler with nautical overtones" A bemused look back "Doesn't mean I like it."

"Well, yeah."

"Are you okay? I mean, is whatever's going on with them really hurting you?"

"Oh, I was annoyed with da a bit when he suggested that I'm not profesional enough as a spy to keep my biases against someone from affecting my judgement . I suppose a few years ago he might have been right, but spying is my DUTY and you have to know where your feelings stand and where the facts are and keep them apart. I don't think he believes I can. But when I simply answered 'no' I'm not sure he accepted it. Ma keeping her distance is... I don't know, yeah, it does hurt a little when someone I love is hurting and I can't help but I am quite aware it is not and shouldn't about me. I guess, if it is hurting me, it's more a rash than a wound and I can be a big girl and not scratch at it" A troubled brow "Sometimes' it's hard to tell the diference between a wall and a rift. You know?"

"Yeah, I get that," she nods, her brow also furrowed. "I'm sorry, Siv. I really hope whatever it is is temporary. I gotta wonder, though..." a pause "Okay, no offense? But...you're a Fiona. Yeah, you've got a duty, but your House is, like, crazy impulsive. Doesn't that mean you might act on bias after all? Because of your House? I'm not accusing, I'm just trying to understand."

"Ah yes, that little 'Fiona are feckless ' stuff" Ammm then she quotes "Fiona’s passions easily become obsessions, and their recklessness in the face of peril quickly transforms into seeking
out danger for danger’s sake. A sidhe of this house finds ways to make even the more mundane passions, like food or drink, into hazardous activities — she’s the one eating the deadly fugusashimi or challenging the troll twice her size to a drinking contest. In romance, especially, Fiona’s passionate nature attains lofty heights, with epic love affairs that often end in tragedy. "

"Um...yeah. That."

"I don't think I would have said 'feckless' though."

"Except none of that has to do with making a report on an event that happened. My report neither gave nor denied me danger. The challenge was in getting the truth out. That's what makes spying fun AND dangerous, not creating a work of fiction. It's like assuming my mother is too proud and arrogant because she's a Falcon to ever admit wrong. It's not the actual house failing, it's just assocated with it"

She nods. "Okay. That's fair."

"it's the one job I thought I excelled at that mom and dad didn't ... and I got told I was too biased to be reliable. Being insulted when my duty is questioned? That's not a Fiona trait, that's troll." A ssigh "Frankly I blame the fact we have so few Fiona to enteract with. Apparently folks embrace some pretty sweeping generalizations"

"Well, yeah, I think there's some House pride that gets in the way."

"I mean, NOBODY tells mom "Hey Gwyds have a temper so, you SURE You'er not angry?" she might be, but folks trust her to take it into account and adjust her rulings fittingly. Unfortunately it seems I haven't earned a similar level of trust. Not even from my dad. I mean, what is this binary stuff, either I agree with someone, or clearly it's Fiona Bias I can't account with? That's just a bit too close to 'you know how hormonal you wimmenfolk get' for my taste. Even if folks don't mean it that way"

"And I know who to blame for it" Siv sighs "Myself. I WAS really immature not so long ago, oddly long BEFORE I was a Fiona. Past me is now Me's worst enemy. I just.. .I don't know. Hard to boast about the details of spying when part of the job is secrecy. "

"I honestly wonder what good I'm do- " She stops "Sorry, I just acted like you were a pooka"

"No, it's cool. And...um...yeah...it was like becoming Fiona sort of smoothed you out. So...maybe your dad is still treating you like you're the little girl he knew? My dad does that to me sometimes, but he gets it under control when I give him The Look." She demonstrates a loving-but-withering look that she clearly inherited from her mother.

SHe takes note of the look, "Yet something I need to work on" Siv nods but doesn't mention how much like Kerri Sylvi appears when when she does that. "It's just, Spying is the one thing I can really contribute to Bergen over all, but it's very nature means I can't have it on display. I mean, I love a good brag. But you can't brag away state secrets. It's FROWNED on. Though it is fun watching Fiona and sluagh twitch. So how do I prove myself as anything but.. oddly average to folks?"

Sylvi tilts her head. "Do you think...I mean, what you do is like the anti-Gwydion job. So...I mean, I bet it's not that they don't trust you, but that they don't understand you? Of course, I don't know...maybe that doesn't apply with your dad." A pause. "Huh. Does he have any history with spies and stuff? I mean, he's really private, so I don't know."

"Mnm you maybe onto something. Dad.. dad's past has hazy spots even to me, but I know he once did a lot of shady stuff. I...mm that would be weird. The idea that his problem is with my work and what it might lead me to rather than a distrust of me specifically? If he's trying to PROTECT Me fro ma dark path it might explain a lot. " A low voice, "Don't know if you heard, but trolls can sometimes be over protective "

"You don't say," she says drily. "I mean, it may be something completely different, but maybe it's best to assume that's what it is? Like, whenever he's closed off, he's really just trying not to show that he's worried?" A pause. "Honestly, even if that isn't the truth, maybe it'd make things easier to deal with if you just pretend it is."

"It might, but then, doesn't that make me the bias seeking amateur people think of me as?" SHe asks "It's a nasty jagged circle, isn't it?"