#rivervale_lodge

"Maybe because you haven't found your way yet. But tell me what happened."

"I... I dunno. It's my fault."

"I have too much of a temper."

Kerri gets a bit concerned. "You didn't lose your temper?"

"No, I didn't. I wouldn't! She's a kid!"

Kerri nods. "If you had, I would've wondered if you'd entered bedlam. So...good. Now...tell me what she did." The list of culprits has been narrowed to female childling.

"But it's like everything I say, or every expression I make has to be taken as.. as... criticism of her, that she's wrong and not welcome and 'she just wants to be a troll' and dammit, I picked the stupid horse for her, and that STILL doesn't matter!" Huff.

"I don't know how to make my face not..." Hand-wavey. "Face."

Kerri blinks, then shakes her head a moment. "I'm not following that. Start over."

"Just... sorry. Sorry. It's fine."

"I'm sure it is. Tell me anyway."

Add more flour, and beat up the mixture.

"I made the wrong face with Ylva."

Vent allll that frustration into the poor dough.

Kerri is resisting the temptation to remind her not to overmix. "Okay. What was she doing before you made this face?"

"Nothing."

"I overreacted."

"She's a kid."

"But...you overreacted to what?"

"Just... stupid shit." She scowls.

"Dagmar...."

"I asked her a question, and she reminded me I'd asked her before, but it was okay, because 'old people; like me are forgetful. Then she kept calling me ma'am, and I asked her not to, but THAT was wrong, because she was told that that was right, and I was makin' her feel bad for doing what she was taught, and also, it's dumb that I don't mind bein' called Dame but don't like ma'am because don't you know they ain't just the same fuckin' thing..." A frustrated growl.

"And my face wasn't right, or my tone wasn't, and so then I'm the bad guy again."

Finally. Kerri sighs. "Dagmar...it isn't you. Ylva has been showing an uncanny talent for putting her foot in her mouth."

"I shouldn't let it get to me. I'm a knight. I'm in college. I'm a grown up."

"Yes, but you are not 'old' and you are definitely not a 'ma'am.'"

"And Connor tried to help, but that's not his job! I'm supposed to protect him, not have him try to cover for me doin' a piss-poor job on schooling my emotions. I know the Ylva's got issues, and she needs to feel safe and welcomed."

"Those weren't anything. She wasn't setting out to insult me. I know she wasn't."

"Connor's your squire. It's his job to support you. It sounds like that's what he tried to do." A pause. "But if he did it wrong, maybe you should punish him."

"What? No!"

"No?"

"Connor's... jeez, Connor was just... he was trying to help."

"And he didn't do anything wrong."

"Now, put 'Dagmar' in those sentences."

Jaw-jut.

"Connor didn't lose his temper or get insulted over a kid just sayin' dumb kid shit."

"You kept your temper. As for getting insulted...." A sigh. "Again, Ylva's been stepping wrong with a lot of people, and you're not the first to get insulted. She's careless with her words. I'll have a talk with her...and no, not just on your behalf."

(Pause)