#rivervale_lodge

"Oh," she says "If I were feeling younger I'd say 'busted' and be done with it. I'm afraid I'm feeling sorry for myself, hearth"

She gestures for SallyMae to take an easy chair, and she herself perches on the edge of the bed. "It's a common ailment at this time of year, sadly. Tell me."

"Well, it's two fold really. You know Marselleus, he's good mind you, is working as Hearth at the Fortress? " A face

"Yes. I don't know him well, but I'm familiar with his situation." She notes the expression. "He's good, but you don't like him?"

"I.." A breath "I got asked to go the fortress. I thought it was a request to BE HEarth. I thought, they recogonize I'm ready. They know I'm as good as any troll." A lift of her chin, "I was told no, I would just be assisting. Marselleus is good, particularly at food. I'm better. And.. " A sigh "I just popped off. Iwas so angry. Still am. Damn it, I'm better than he is at finances, at house management and first aid. We're tied as chiefs, I get that, but the only reason he would be picked to handle that and I wasn't was because somehow, I'm still too human."

Oh it's a month old wound and it still cuts her.

It doesn't take much to see that it's actually a much older wound than that. "Ahh." Kerri sighs and nods. "The changeling equivalent to the glass ceiling. I'm sorry, Sally Mae."

"I may have told Aunt Anges to stuff it, I was already an assitant and I certainly didn't see any reason to uproot my life for a latteral move and at least here I was respected, unlike the farm."

The notion of saying something like that to Agnes makes Kerri wince. "Have you spoken with her since?"

"Not really. I'll be expected to apologize, which she might deserve, but I won't get one in return, which I deserve. And then I'll be expected to go shore up Marsellius and make him look better than he is. " A mutter "Clem is trying to patch things up, but ...seh doesn't understand. She's.. respects hearth work, but she doesn't understand it, and I know she has to value Aunt Agnes more than me... so she feels pressured to side with her."

"Mmm." Kerri nods. "You need somebody in your corner. Would it be out of line for me to speak with Clem about this? Would you mind?"

"I'm torn between fighting my own battles and not hiding behind someone else's skirts, to realizing I'm too angry to be coming to a table alone. Guess I need to put on my big girl panties and look at the bigger picture. Clem would listen to you at least. She can be testy as a young chief, but she respects you and well... considers your daughter family so best of both worlds. If you think it will help. " A breath "And I'm sorry. I shouldn't bring this crap to work"

"If you didn't bring some of your pain with you, you would not be bringing your full, honest self. Hearth-work requires that pain, so that you can understand the pain of others. And I am glad to help. We will speak with Clem tomorrow. However..." she adds, "I'm not sure that's the only thing upsetting you."

"oh, the rest is just silly vanity and valentines day" A sigh then "I am not un atttractive. And now that I recognize I don't NEED a man to be worth something, and am secure in myself, I kind of find myself wondering where the hell they are in my life. I thnk I've got a cause of wanting it all, but now that I've got college down pretty well, and I think I do a good job here, well, I'm ready for someone to knock at my door, only they're not so much as peeking from the sidewalk"

A slight wry grin from Kerri. "First, you do a very fine job here, and we rely on you, never doubt that. As for the callers not coming to your door...well, if you were anybody else, I'd point out that there's a fine Farm full of eligibles in Iowa. Sadly, that's not an option for you."

Nose wrinkle "indeed." A sigh "To top it off, I am flirting like hell with Sir Carawyn and I worry, no I KNOW part of it is a 'take that' to my family. But he genuinely seems nice and not JUST gorgeous. "

"I had wondered about that. And yes, it looks kind of like a 'so there'...but honestly, SallyMae, there's nothing wrong with a bit of flirtation as long as you don't promise anything you can't follow through on." A bit of a smirk. "Sidhe know the power of flirtation very well, but they don't always remember about the promises."

"I know, but he's an Autumn Sidhe, did you know that? Like Sparrow. Not a body napper, he. .a long time ago, he went the changeling way. I think, I think I like what that says about him" Thoughtful "But i'm not sure if he's attracted. Though "P leased "he does show up for meals when he knows I'm cooking"

At this, Kerri might realize that sicne she's gotten well, while she's met Carawyn, he does not show up for every one of HER Meals, and not just because of his ngiht shift

She grins. "He knows a good thing." Then a sigh. "I can't say I'm thrilled about his kith, and you're right that it would cause problems for you and your family -- he'd never be welcome to visit the Farm with you, for example."

"Maybe he knows that and that's why h'es not flirting back like I hoped" A sigh "You know, at this point, I think I'm just.. I don't know, I want a fellow to explore options with, to face some of my crazinenss and him not flinch, and I face his. This world sucks just a bit less, maybe al ot less, when you have someone. And that's selfish of me, but it's also... " A breath "I'm due. No one owes me anything but maybe respect I know, but I have as much right to happiness as anyone and I want a bigger piece of it. I just .. don't know how to get it "

Kerri reaches to take her hand reassuringly. "It helps when it's the right person. And yes...you have every right to happiness. I wish there were a magic formula I could tell you to find the right partner. I can say that, the more that you remain true to you, the more likely you'll find somebody who's willing to share his true self with you."

A laugh "What if 16 year old Clem's right and I AM a bit of a stuck up bitch?"

"Well, maybe you were that when Clem was 16. However, I don't see it in you now."

"She said much the same but I thought she was maybe making amends for her own bossybritchedness of yester year" A smile though "I guess as long as you keep stepping forward more often than back. And thanks. I also wish there were a magic formula, but as it is I felt like a hypocrite advising Siv. Like I know anything about her problem"

"Her...problem?"

"she asked me how to make a man feel like his ideal self without compromising herself." A shrug "I told her, to think of what Jonas values were, and which of those values Siv admired... and then support and praise those." An admission "Not sure if that's the right advice, but we all need a little earnest praise now and then"

Kerri grins and gives a nod. "Sound advice. Much better than pretending to see what isn't present, or pretending to admire what we dislike."

"That's what I thought, but I do not know what brought that into her head. I think this Fiona house stuff is a bit odd to say the least, but she wants to do her best. More like her parents than she knows, that one. Neither of them do anything with less than full effort either" A smile "Thank you. I know you have to go tend to your own husband, and he to you. You go have fun"

"Well, thank you, and I'll arrange that meeting with Clem." A pause. "I'm not convinced Sir Carawyn is the right man, but I'm also not waving you off."

"Thanks. I think..maybe I will flirt with other fellows. I.." A breath "I give you permission to match make a bit. If you think a guy would be good with me and vice versa... have at ." As if deciding to be brave

"I trust you" she decides

A solemn nod. "I'll do my best." And she leads the two of them out of her room and back to the kitchen where they fuss happily over Connor's creations...and Kerri is quietly bemused at the notion that SallyMae felt that whether she gave permission or not would make any difference. She thinks I haven't already been considering it...that's cute.

It is downright 'adorbs'.

(End scene)

"It's supposed to be a thousand, one thousand oragami cranes, instead, a lot fewer paper hearts" Siv says over her own candle lit dinner

Jonas says "I don't understand." He stares at her, "I do like the dress."

"It wasn't too big a concession," Siv smiles, "Sometimes I like dressing up"

"Now, open the hearts..."

"There are missives within?" He opens the first one and... reads. "Jonas always took good care of us- Margalita"

He opens another "He took over rounds when I was sick, and shows up for work every day without complaint- Anne Marie"

He stares at her, "Are these all... compliments?"

"Ones that you wave off, every day, or don't stick around for because you're too busy, read more," She says, "or would you like my help?" A smile, she opens up one and says "Jonas has shared fruit and thus is a good person" a grin "Guess who said THAT ONE?"

Jonas chuckles "The Mountain."

"Close!" Siv grins

He reads another and shakes his head "Folks are complimenting me for just doing my duty. I don't think that's..."

She looks around hands him another before he can finish.

"He's there for patrols, even when it's not his shift or his job. Won't take a thank you or credit but that saves me buying drinks for him, another perk-Vali" Siv reads and looks at him "Guess he's got your number there."

A blush, then he smiles as he looks at another one "This one is from Lily for having tea with her and Lydia. I remember that."

"I don't think that's on the 'Duties of Rivervale' list" Siv reminds.