"Well, I don't know how much I should say to someone outside my therapist, but mostly an urge both to control myself and punish myself. Anxiety and stress are... they tend to set it off. It builds and knots and then I feel like unless I do it, it's never going to get better, but of course, it's a cycle, and sometimes a spiral, so I have to try to work outside the negativity. It's easier to ignore when I have a task taht requires focus."