#rivervale_lodge

"I know, I belong... but..."

Brekke is quiet, waiting to see if the girl will find the words.

the smell of coffee, but no sign of Tove yet.

"But... if you're a knight, you should have.. have something, right?"

"Hm." A gesture for her to go on.

"Because otherwise, why are you a knight? So, like, you should be defending something, maybe?"

"I chrysalized with Flyswatter, and the one thing I'm really good at is fighting. But I don't want to fight just because."

"But I do want to fight."

"I do not think that is the one thing you are good at. But...yes, you are clearly a warrior by nature." Brekke nods. "And you sense something is lacking."

She nods.

"Then...you wish to oath. Fealty will strengthen you, but also bind you. You realize this, yes?"

"So.. it means I have to listen to you, but you're the Chief, so I already listen to you."

"Mm. You do. But...I have not often called on you to work against your own desires."

Her brows furrow. "Like how?"

A serious look. "If I told you you did need to stay at Caer Falken for Beltane. That would be a mild example. If I told you that you must fight a foe without knowing why...or perhaps a foe who seemed innocent to you."

"If I told you to lead a charge into battle with impossible odds, one from which you would not likely return." Said without inflection.

"If I told you to sacrifice yourself, and did not tell you why." That same even tone.

"Fealty would bind you to act...or to break the oath."

"But... but you wouldn't do that, would you?"

A blink. "I have."

Her jaw sticks out a bit and she looks at Brekke, turning over the idea.

And then a frown, head tilted.

Brekke notes the expression, but remains quiet.

"Did you..." A frown.

An eyebrow.

"I thought.." A frown. "I didn't think it was one way. That it was just... that you wouldn't just make me go in to die on a whim?"

"Like, it had to be for a good reason?"

A pause. "I would not, on a whim. Nor would Count Hemlock. And, truth? I have never ordered one to fight impossible odds except when there was not other option. However, in battle, one cannot always explain the reasons."

She fidgets. "I mean, I don't know Count Hemlock. But if it were you, or Kerri, or Tove or Jaymes..."

"And yes...fealty does work both ways. If I did mistreat you in that way, I would be breaking the oath as well."

A nod. "A knight swears fealty to one higher in rank."

A brief scowl at the mention of rank.

"Yeah. I know, I couldn't swear Fealty to them, but I did swear adoption and that one matters a lot. I can feel it, you know?"

Brekke nods. "I understand. That oath is strong, for both of you."

"You made a face when I mentioned rank just then. Why?"

"Nothing." A faint, brief, grimace. And a lie.

"Try again."

Simple, not judgemental.

She chews on her thumb again, then hastily jerks her hand away to fold her arms behind her back.

"If I'm a knight, that makes me different."

"Different from...?"

"...Everybody else?"

An eyebrow again. "There are other knights in Concordia," she points out.

"But..."

"Who counts as 'Everybody else' to you?"

A shrug. "Dunno." LIE.

"Dagmar...I would not approve of you holding your rank over others' heads." Firm but quiet. "I hope that is not what you mean."

"No!" She looks up sharply. "I didn't! I wouldn't!"

"They're my friends!" ...mixed, she doubts that statement.

A slow nod. "I believe they are." If Dagmar's paying attention, that's a truth.