As we all know, at one time, thirteen colonies in North America had been taken, built, and occupied by England's ruthless use of flags!
Fluttered all the time, and gave cruel neener neener neener to those who had to face the fact they were not in control of their own destiny.
But what could possibly stand against the might of a flimsy piece of cloth fluttering over us?
THEN... the Contiental Congress realized the only way to knock the Brits back!
A STERNLY WRITTEN LETTER!
They called it a declaration just to make super DUPER Official, signed it, and sent it off to the King and Parliament.
This so hurt England's feelings their flags shriveled up from the pain of rejection! (Happens to a lot of guys)
France was stunned "Wait? The Americans have learned bureaucracy? I didn't even know they could read and write!"
With their flags neutralized, England tried more aggressive tactics and seized our greatest cities...
George Washingon was like "HA...cities are for tourists.. catch me if you can..."
And Nathaniel Green like "English Monkey in the middle!"
ANd England was like "STOP IT! You're not playing the right game!"
And France was like "You mean the game where your guys get trapped in the cities they took and now are surrounded?"
And England was like "YES, thank you, civilized behavior at last and... ooo poop"
And America was like "We're free now... saaay it... no crossing fingers..."
"But I get repaid for this right?" France asked
"Oh..yeah sure, you bet," America said
"Pff, good luck collecting from THESE guys" England snorted, "little ingrates'
And Canada was like "Don't worry, mum, we still love you"
And England was like "Yes, your'e my favorite now, and I will never ever forget yo.. oooo look, is that Australia?"
And Canada was like "#$#$#$#!"
And since then, every July 4th, we Americans celebrate the power of a sternly worded letter!