Y'know...here's my question: how exactly does she "refuse" an aide? If an aide is hired, then...what? She doesn't let the person in her house? Or would she just fuss and fuss about it, but have the person come in and do the work anyway? I mean, if somebody's going to have to take her abuse, might as well be somebody who's getting paid to do so, and save the family relationship (what there is of it).