#fenixtj

"No!" Folding her arms over her chest. "But war cant happen. Not between far and mortal!"

"So , say some random Eshu puts a bullet in you... I can choke him with my bare hands until his head pops off and you're okay with that, but if a street ganger shoots you for money and kills you. He's off limits because he's mortal?"

" that is not what I said, and you know it."

"I'm not sure I do. You seem to think I can go to war with fae but not mortals. Jessica, who do you think is the majority of the drug dealers I stop?"

" I am saying I don't want to go to war with anybody, I'm packing buildings with explosives is not in line with that. Are you telling me the drug dealers you stop are Fae ?"

"No, the opposite, most of them are mortals. SOME fae yes, but 90% of them are plain jane sons of adam and daughters of eve and they're trying to KILL Me Jessica, because I intrude on there business. I Love you very much, but I think it's a bit much to tell me I need to be Gandhi 2.0 when they poison good people and want me dead. Jessica, I am not GOING to war, the war is on going. You don't know this city like I do... it's predators and prey, always has been.. and the sheep would be dead if if it weren't for guardian hounds like myself ready to bite their lamb killing heads off. I don't ask for gratitude, but I kind of insist on not letting the woman I love go unavenged and yes, silly me, I'm going to shoot back and arrange they die first if that's what it takes"

Jessica looks as though she might make an angry retort and then stops. She looks down at her untouched plate " did you find like this when Rathbone was baroness?"

"Did I fight like this when... YES... it was harder in fact. She didn't give a damn about the fief and it showed." He says

Jessica sighs, and it might occur to Duff (being a student of Jessica) that she used the question to deflect her own emotions.

"Wait, you think the fact I take action is a condemnation on your work?"

"No." Firmly.

"Jessica, what do you FEEL and WHY do you feel it?" Feeling he must pin her down or this will go in circles.

"What I feel is not important." Patiently. "What's important is the Fief, and the people in it. And I think it's important to create as much peace as we can, to help both the mortals and Fae here."

"What you feel is SUPREMELY important to me"

Stubborn look

Still with arms folded. "It isn't to me."

"Well, Jessica, that's the thing, couples? THey try to consider what's important to both of them. I am trying to understand you so share a little with the emotional side because I'm not buying your logic being any better than mine."

It rings similar to what Siv said recently to her

Jessica nods slowly. "Ok."

"The answer is: I don't know."

"You don't know how you feel? It's Your heart, Jessica. If you don't know, who does?"

She shrugs.

"So let me understand this correctly, I see things one way, you another, so you'd like me to 'compromise' and do things your way. You want us to work together, and I like that, but it will take a 'compromise' where you will tell me HOW we will work together and what I may or may not do? ANd to top it off, you don't know how you FEEL about the compromises... just that I really need to do it" Blink blink

A deep breath. "I have a part in this too." She agrees with the point he's not-making. "Are you saying I make the rules on this? I decide what's a compromise and you're ok with that?"

"No. I don't I'm saying you seem to be insisting it's your way or nothing... while at the same time talking together. TOgether is... doing what you say is not 'together' jessica. a real partnership takes REAL compromise and knowing when to let the other breathe and trying to.." He sighs

"Ok, well, I want to do this together and I've told you what I think. What do YOU think? The YOU part of together?"

"I think your'e asking too much if you think I"m going to let you or me get shot by a mortal without recrimination for said mortal. Can you accept that I can't bend that far?"

Jessica..... nods. "Yes." She's not -thrilled- but....

"Okay.. that said, I can see how..under cutting you doesn't send the right message to others you rely on. To me, the answer is, I do it so cleverly no one knows I'm 'defying you'. BUT.. I get the feeling you don't agree that's the solution?"

"I do not." she agrees.

"SO. if I insist on doing something my way despite you, how can I lessen the encouragement of others defying?"

"I'd rather you didn't but... I don't know?"

"I'm not sure either. So.. one of us has to bend a little more. And.. I guess it should be me. " he says "Fine. I should have waited until you got back before planting the explosives. I should have waited to see if your way worked or not before..going ahead. AND.. if your way didn't work.. THEN I'd blow them all to hell right after. THAT Might be a better compromise...though neither of us would like it. Me? I don't like waiting when I can prepare sensibly, and you won't be happy that I blow them into little sons of adam chunks for shooting you or because I'm defending myself"

Slowly. "You shouldn't be making all the compromises. At least... "

"That's.. fair of you to notice." he says

She gives him a dry look. Sahara.

"Well damn it woman, what do you want me to say? 'hey dont worry about it'? I love you and want a partnership of equals here. You run the fief, but you need at least one man who can tell you no now and then of you'll be miserable"

"I know." Quietly.

"I... I knew, I didn't realize you knew," he says, his own tone quieter. He puts a hand along her cheek and runs fingers down her neck and shoulder, "How long have you known that?"

"Long enough. I know that ... power needs a balance."

"And more than that, a couple needs a balance. You need someone you can...be human with. I would be honored to be that man." And he kisses her.

Jessica... does not bolt.

"Duff....."

"Jessica." Looking into her eyes

"Look, I've.... missed you. But this doesn't solve the issue!"

"What does then?" He asks, and tries to be... non confrontational about it, then he smiles, "you've missed me? Mmm" Pleased by that.

"I don't know! We were working on it and then you... kissed me."

"Something NOT against the Escheat, I'd like noted for the record"

She looks away, shrugs sheepish agreement. "It is not."

"Well, I have a hard time feeling guilty for kissing you, Jessica. Or did you think I didn't miss the hell out of you?"