#fenixtj

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"Angry at you, yes, mostly frustrated at not being able to help. Or even being able to be trusted. Jessica, we all have our secrets, but... just when I thought we were getting closer, you shoved me away- hard. What's going on?"

She takes a long moment, turning the question over in her head. "I've been... wrestling with some family stuff. Feelings. Things I'm not proud of; I'm actually pretty damned ashamed of it. It kind of built up and then my folks came along and -pushed- on it and..." She takes a deep breath.

"We, my folks and I, we've talked about it and I'm going to be working on it. I've been honest with them, and myself, and ... in a couple months the whole family's coming down, I think, if the timing works out. And that gives me a little time to... you know, work on how I deal with how I feel. And work on how I feel, too, I guess.

"It's not about trusting you, Duff. Maybe it's more about trusting myself. I don't think there's anything you could have done, or can do, to help. It's work -I- have to do. You understand that, right?"

"I'm not sure I do," He says "Jessica, you didn't even give me the chance. I'm glad you had some sort of break through, and maybe it's selfish of me, but all I'm hearing is your folks pressed you, got you to talk a little, and even then you postponed whatever this and still don't want others to know about. And it was all set by that stupid snowglobe I gave you. It's not about me, okay, and yet I AM the one who set it off. And here we are...you wnat me to understand again, but it's all still a cipher. How do you want me to make sense of this when I'm not allowed to know anything except the vaguest things?"

He reaches and strokes her cheek, "You started to sleep with me, not sex, I mean the staying with me. You seemed to see me as a safe harbor. Then, suddenly...you didn't."

She doesn't flinch or move away from his touch. "It wasn't set off by the snowglobe, which is very sweet. I think ... I think I was already kind of set off by that time. I'm not postponing anything, we agreed, as a family, to readdress in a few months. When I asked if you understood, I meant about having work you need to do on, or to, yourself. And if you don't understand that, that's ok."

"Do on, or to myself?" Duff says tilting his head "I admit I have issues to work out in my life, we all do but how so?"

"No, I meant the generic 'you'." She sighs. "I'm so bad at this....."

"You as in 'one.' Work one must do on, or to, themselves."

"You're right" He runs a finger along her ear, "You are bad at this." a bit of a smile though. "I think I understand, everyone has to work out their own issues. I'm just not sure I completely agree. There's working it out for yourself and then there's isolating yourself to do it. You cut out a great deal of strength from yourself, mi amour. Trolls aren't meant to be that alone. We are strongest when we have someone to protect, who trusts in us. And sometimes we need to be grateful they let us do so. It's okay to let their faith in us be a part of our strength, essential at times."

She thinks about that, too. "I can see your point."

"Good. And y es I realize just because you can see it doesn't mean you think I'm right. That's okay. I've been thinking about us. Little but, actually, though it's disturbing to admit it."

She takes a testing sip of the coffee, bracing herself. "I think that's good. Do you want to tell me your thoughts? It's ok if you don't."

"I think that you do not love me as strongly as I love you, if you love me at all. I am told this will make me a better poet in the long run, but honestly I'd just as soon pass. We both keep secrets but for different reasons. " A tilt of his head " I find myself unwilling to sleep with other women. I simply cannot separate sex with intimacy, so I do not think you always understand what it means when I try to talk you into writhing beneath me. I think I am blind to some of what you want in a relationship, and how you see things in return. We're like two blind people groping about in the dark trying to find the bed in a very very large room that echoes." A sigh "And I think you maybe oddly more traditional than you let on. So I've tried to court you as folks raised among noble lands are said to do."

This last maybe a surprise to her. Sure, he's given wine and poetry but courting lately? She's not been there to court

She blinks a little. "Wow, that's very ... honest. Um. I think... I think we've talked about the difference in how we feel towards each other. That hasn't changed for me, Duff. I....I didn't know you wanted to be a poet? And I can't... I mean, I don't sleep around either. I mean, if I'm going to have sex with someone it's going to be someone I care about. To be honest, I haven't thought a lot about what I want in a relationship. You, um, you've been courting me?"

"In a way, I have to put my own twists on things" He pulls out a folder from under the cash register, "Take a look."

Curious, she hands off the coffee and takes the folder.

Newspaper reports of slavers and coyotes who would turn refugees into drug mules gone missing or dead. Mostly in local news, and little conformed. Folks assume it's some sort of gang vs gang thing. What it means is a lot fewer refugees were in danger from being used so. There is also a list of names of some refugees and the states they've been smuggled to! He must have gotten nearly two dozen of them out at least.

A drop in the river so to speak, but still

"Honestly, I think killing a dragon might be more classy."

She takes her time looking through. "You... you did this? To... court me? To, um, win my.... favor?"

"It's the thing isn't it? You are the daughter of two nobles, Fenix hold is your tower, so I need to pick flowers and bring you the heads of various unsightly creatures you detested to show my prowess and win your affection." He scratches his chin "Odd, it never occured to me until now how much a courting knight and a pet cat have in common"

"You haven't met Bancroft yet...." She mutters in response before closing the folder. "Duff... thank you. I mean... Rivervale isn't ... strong on ceremony. Yes, both my parents have titles but... they walk a patrol just like everyone else. I'm not used to, you know... that kind of formality. I'm sorry I missed it."

"Does that mean that my way of doing things, liberating families instead of picking flowers, removing slavers instead of killing dragons does not please you?" A tilt of his head. hE doesn't seem upset

"It's not that.... please me.... well, yes, I'm pleased at the progress. Yes. It pleases me."

"Good. Now, I am not so naive to say that now I have done you a favor, and because I am a 'nice guy' you must give your heart to me." A snort "First of all, we both know I'm not a 'nice guy'. But I do enjoy making you happy so to hear I have done such pleases me. Now, you said 'it's not that...' go on. I don't expect anything beyond make the goodnews you are pleased, and you gave me that"

She shrugs. "It's not that you need to do those things to please me."

"Oh? You have a preference in how you are pleased? I know by now, better than any other man I think, where to touch you, but I meant pleased in a less....carnal way"

She purples a little. "Duff, it's never occurred to me, no one has ever asked me before about that. The answer is, I don't know."

"think on it, you might find in me a curiosity in making it happen."

She nods. "I will."

"Good" A kiss "Now, any revelations more, details you want to share? "

"Um.... " The kiss shook her. "N... no. No, I just wanted... I didn't want to let the silence go any longer."

"Thank you for that" He closes the shop. flipping the sign, locking the door, and lowering the blinds "Now, get undressed and lay on the chair

She blinks at him. "Um."

Mischief in his eyes then "Jessica, can you think of a better time for me to put those henna paints you gave me to work?"

"Um. Oh. Oh!" She chuckles. "Ok, ok. Ok." She pulls her top off over her head and heads for the chair. "Back or front first?"

"Both are delightful," he says "How about the front, then after you'll wonder just what I Put on your back" A pleased look...

She rolls her eyes, but with a flick of her fingers his canvas is bare and she settles into the chair. "I'm going to have to stay put and let it cure...."

"Yes, I rather like the notion of you being held by my work for a time" Admiration at her form "A very fine canvas to work with. Let's begin"

(And so they do... end scene)