#bergen_county

"You are a hagglingg one... hokay, I give you discount, because you are not like others here tellinn me 'oh I get it on amazon" He rolls his eyes "Have been to the Amazon, the real one. Bezos dead in an hour or less. tops."

A soft snicker. "I'd pay to watch that on Amazon Prime. Can you add in... let's see. Hearts, three of them. Goat, pig, and lamb. I know you don't get much call for those outside of sausage."

"Ah, or... " He looks over the case. "Calf heart. Sorry, I forgot Pig isn't Halal."

"is true, and therre is so much for them" He nods "I can get you pig if you want, I wear gloves. Long as I don't eat huh?"

"Whatever's cheapest, as long as I have three of them. It's for an anniversary, of sorts. 3 months."

"They practice Haleel?"

He shakes his head. "Not hardly... I just thought maybe you wouldn't carry it."

"I find infidels have money too" A grin and he slips some gloves on

Symon snickers, and leans on the counter to watch. This is going take take a good bit of his savings, but hey, if it get some peace and quiet... or keeps that dang redcap witch from biting him, it's worth it.

True to his word, Mr Undabi the butcher gives him a more than fair discount. After all, Symon wasn't wrong whenn he said he often bought things no one else did. It is carefully prepared, and wrapped as directed

Once he sees the size of the parcels - apparently a whole carcass, even a baby goat, is still pretty hefty - and he looks at his phone, about to call a cab - and with an amused look, taps a direct text to Eden instead.

TXT: Got a min? Could use a ride, and thought you might get a kick out of this.

TXT: Sally Mae is craky. I may have to give it up for free

But sure ennouh, a car pulls up. Eden waves from there

Symon borrows a cart to wheel his carcass and packets over and loads into the trunk. "I heard that you went on a bit of a bender with the Mountain's truck and got smacked down for it. They're not coming down too hard on you, are they?"

"I'm under house arrest" She says and helps load things up . She sighs "Tikki is beinngg all paladin boyfriend," She admits "We tthougght it was all grim, but tthe trolls do nnot laugh ever it seems" Guiltty look

He nods, a bit sympathetically. "I can't say I wouldn't have been ticked if someone took something of mine, but... if you need a break from bluejail? Just let them know I need a ride somewhere and I'll cover for you. I have some troll rep accrued that I can bank on, and you've always done me solid."

"Sally Mae is cutting me back on my big wheels keep on turningg. She worries all chaufer and no pranking made Eden a dull girl" Eden says with a sigh "I really wish I'd just broke into fort knox. We heading to your doctor's house?"

"I wasn't quite sure yet. Actually... Apparently Dirk and Prissy are fighting, and it's one thing when a pair of redcaps are brawling on Pay-per-view, but another when it's in my house. And trying to talk to either of them is a prescription for bitewounds. Something stupid about a 3 month anniversary that was forgotten?"

He looks at Eden curiously - she's a girl, right? Does this seem to ring a bell with her?

Eden gasps "He forgot their three minute anniversery? Oh wow... it's gotten delrious.. I mean, serious"

Symon winces a bit at the reaction. Even though it wasn't his mistake, it's pretty cringeworthy. "I'm gonna try to get them to make up - because the only thing worth than two redcaps f...frolicking under one roof is them fighting. Though one can be as terrible to listen to as the other, at least the former causes less property damage. So I got a 3 month anniversary surprise... and figured that I could get a message to them both saying to meet up where it's set up. Maybe they'll both think that the other was behind it - or maybe they'll just eat it." Slapping a hand against one of the wrapped meaty bundles. "So it's kinda like a prank, but if nothing else, it might startle them out of their fight."

A smile at that "I can see why this girl I knew had a crush on you for a time. But ah.." As if offering him an out "You're no so much being Seelie as using seelie nonsense to your advantage" approving

He flushes a bit of a mottled color, but doesn't look displeased with the assessment. "It's easier to manipulate folk when you know how they're thinking, is all."

"If we knew how the Mountain thunk I wouldnn't be dashing wishes at night" They make heir way

"'Well, I think you have a bit more insight there now." He says. "Small consolation, I'm sure. Where do you think is a good place to set up a feeding frenzy? Not in my backyard, preferably."

A pause "Your she shed? Or maybe... the lake is cold, chilled, lonely. nightmares hate that?"

"The lake sounds perfect. Say, can I impose on your time a bit longer? If you can drop me off there, then deliver an 'anonymous' message to each of them to meet up there later tonight? There's a good spot off behind that marshy bit where no one swims, by the big pine."

He adds, "I'm paying of course." And passes her a small bag of dross.

She holds off on the dross "I'm banned from working forever... this is a free bee.. no stirups on the litle buzz wings. " She says "Besides, this is a prank, and we sluagh love that"

"Then... you wanna circle back around and see what happens? 50/50 odds they get into a fight, but swinging some fists might work off some of their mad anyways, so I figure it can only go so wrong."

A smile "I didn't know rikki could throw her voice this far. Sure thing, Rikki"

He scoffs inaudibly, but looks amused.

She drives towards the lake, ready to help him "SO... besides redcap love songs, how have you been?"

"Pretty quiet, all things told. I like it like that." When they get to the spot, he needs help from Eden to hoist the carcass up by a leg and hang it so it swings from the big tree. "Don't tell the chief. It ain't hurting the tree, but I bet she wouldn't approve."

"Well, the tree is a vegetarian" She helps withou complaint though

The hearts are hung as well. "See, hearts are romantic. Right?" And he delicately dips his pinky into a small tub of oxblood, and starts smearing it into a short message.

3 Months of Flesh and Feelings

"If you want to come by for dinner later, I'll ask Anne Marie to make haejangguk. That's oxblood soup."

"WOW.. I am both mortified, terrified, and oddly hungggry" Which part is a lie is hard to say "it's...like a redcap ambrosia"

He nods. "Can you help get the word out to Prissy and Dirk? I'll wait here to make sure no norms come across the tableau."

She smiles "Leave it to me.. I'm takin the bike" She eyes the car "So don't get caught"

He nods and settles on his haunches to wait, crouched out of sight.

Soon enough, Dirk comes out "I don't see no Dwayne the Rock Johnnson chimera..."

Symon slips deeper into the shadows

And from another side, there is Prissy "No way is someone Dreaming of the Rock with longg hair.."

And then... "if someone lead me on.. hey!" Dirk sees the layoutfirst, "Damn.. good find. I'm hungry!"

Oh no, if he eats it before Prissy sees it...

Symon winds up and chucks a pine cone at Dirk's broad back, then ducks back out of sight. It might miss, but maybe still be a distraction to keep him from digging in JUST yet?

It whaps him sqaure in the back of the head, tthenn he blinks "hey, wait a minute" 💡

And stares "three months..what's been going on for three months?" he scratches his chin

Looks like that pine cone got a cog moving in that thick skull

The hearts sway in the breeze.

"Three months..." he blurts out loud, nope, the connection stitll isn't good. If brains were computers, Symon's brother would be dial up. Sure, it can connect eventually, but it takes minutes and the horrid sound of it...