#bergen_county

And he gives a gummy sheepish look. “Apologies. I mean, our fine allies of the DeBuke Clan.”

"Let me give that some more thought, and I'll talk to Vali. And yes, let's show some courtesy, please." But she gives a wink, too.

He nods, and heads out to find Dagmar. Damn Cornboy sympathizers.

Dagmar is at the Barn - safe bet if she's not with the horses.

Symon heads over, breath puffing in the air from the brisk walk. Or the slow walk in brisk air. “Hey. Turns out I wasn’t in trouble after all. Normally when the Hearth calls, I have to remember what I last left outside Sylvi’s window or hanging above Jack’s bed.”

"Oh, good. I didn't think you should be..."

“Me either. Being in trouble means I got caught.”

“But the Hearth said to come talk to you.”

She bites on her lip. "Oh."

“You don’t gotta start that. If you don’t wanna talk, I ain’t one to make you. Nothing’s wrong. Nothings wrong with ME.” He clarifies. “I just want make sure you’re ok.”

"Oh. Um."

"Well, like.. like... lots of long talks about stuff, I guess. With Kerri, and then Nadeen..."

"I don't think... I don't think she's going to do anything dumb."

“Kerri made it sound like you guys figured something out.” He shrugs a bit. “It’s not my business...” side eye.

"Oh."

"We're on a break."

Symon looks a bit taken aback. “You okay?” Not gloating, or even smugly pleased.

"...Actually, kinda?"

"Lot less pressure. And she doesn't hate me."

“That’s a relief. I’d have to wonder if I should be jealous.” But he’s got that little grey lipped smile that shows he’s not really serious.

"Well, like.. like.. the last time went kinda bad."

"Breaking up."

“yeah, but Adam is an entitled fuckboy.” Symon has the graciousness to look a bit embarrassed after that one slips his filter. At least it wasn’t in front of the Hearth this time. “Sorry. That’s probably not constructive commentary.”

"Yeah, basically."

"I'm not very good at dating."

“Does that bug you? Like, you think you should be, and that’s a flaw?”

"Sort of. Like... like maybe parts of me won't ever be... right? Or better?"

She rummages in the fridge - Dr. Pepper from her. Questionable bottle of what may have been apple juice for Symon.

He heads over to lean against a chair, courteously opening the bottle in the other direction so that most of the fermented fizz goes the other way. “It’s hard. Not to try to compare yourself... not just to others... but to who you think you should, or could be.”

"Yeah..." Sigh.

“Me, I just go so far the other direction, that the least effort I put out is lauded as a grand achievement.”

"You're really brave." Dagmar agrees.

He grins, seeing as Dagmar is going along with the joke. “Being held up to standards... That’s kinda why.... y’know, I never much liked the idea of oaths or ties and from previous lives. I mean... maybe it’s different for trolls. But... and this sounds weird for a fae, right? But I want to live my life for me, and not for who someone says I once was. Like - fae are supposed all about destiny? But what if I want to make my own damn fate?”

She exhales. "I get it. I dunno. I am not sure.. like, since we dated in Arcadia, it sort of feels like... you know?"

"And I do like her. I didn't, but she's... she's trying, and she has good things... and I know, she does stuff that's hard, too. Hard to like.:

So do I. I’m just better at hiding it. Symon thinks. “No one’s perfect all the time. If they were, god - imagine how BORING it would be. Like that snotty horse of yours. You think you’d be half as fond of her if she was just a Barbie’s Dreamhouse perfectly mannered automaton steed?”

"Star's a brat." Fondly, with a grin. "Yeah."

“I’m not saying people should be shitty. Y’know. But thqat’s what makes people people.”

“And sometimes people change. Not always. But even...” He shrugs and changes. “...even Dirk likes you guys these days.” A gummy smile.

"But... but, like, it's tough when..." She sighs. "I know you both were doing really good and trying really hard, please say Kerri said that part?"

"Oh, yeah, Dirk's almost tolerable now."

Deadpan. “She said that everything is your fault, and that’s why no one will ever get along.”

A beat. “See how stupid it sounds when I say it?” Blunt, yet somehow gentle.

“Yeah, Kerri knows her shit. She’s like - Troll power, a noble title, with boggan intuition and that pooka shit that makes you want to talk- all rolled in one. I try to convince folk think I’m scary? She’s TERRIFYING.”

"Kerri is amazing, yeah. And smart."

"And I didn't want to talk about it, but she just..." Gestures.

He grimaces and nods! “Yeah, she’s got some voodoo.”

"Yeah."

“And... she’s right though. I’ll keep trying. And I think Nadeen is too.”

"Yeah." Softly.

"But I know it's.. it's a lot to ask. And I felt guilty when we couldn't hang out, or... just... I dunno. I don't want to make anyone mad."

“...I thought about it a bit. And... don’t you DARE tell you... but I kinda feel bad for her. I mean, it’s not like she CHOSE to dislike slugs. But it’s like she’s cursed with a mystical foreboding that tells her that we’re evil and such. How do you fight that? That’s like... what if it’s like an anxiety attack?”