#bergen_county

"I guess she's ok?"

"Where did she go? I thought she.. and you... were like, bonded?"

Reaching a hand up to touch the gauze pad on her shoulder, almost subconsciously.

"We are. She says we are. I don't know where she went. She left out the window. I was trying to think things out...." he indicates the box ".... and she asked if she needed to go and I said... I dunno. Maybe? And she left."

"Are you worried? Can she get glamour from others without you there?" Concerned. "If you call her, would she hear you?" Then she ducks her head a bit. "I don't mean to meddle. S-" She bites her tongue before she can broken record another 'sorry'.

"She's good at taking care of herself. And yeah, she can now. She .... I think she can hear me but I don't know if there's a distance or something that it fails at." He shrugs. "She was.... she's your friend too."

"It's not the same, though. She was your companion, your glamour woke her up. That's a special bond. I mean, I think so... most people keep their companions for life, or until they pass them on. Like Sylvi and Flopsy... he's starting to get raggedy, but I think that might mean that he'll go to a new child soon... not that she'd want to see him go."

A shrug, scuffing his foot. "We haven't talked about it."

"Okay." She says, softly. "Thank you for bringing this by. Do you.. want me to read it now? Or after you go?"

"Whatever you like." He shifts his weight.

She reaches out to take the box, and peeks inside...

A couple of things; a letter, yes. A bra. Some notes and music. A tee shirt ?

A small smile - she can't help it, remembering the day she came over and they both got scolded by Brenda - oh, that night was worth every word... looking at the t-shirt, one of hers?

No.... one of Adam's.

But one she favors wearing while there.

She doesn't realize that she was just standing there looking at the t-shirt for several long moments... before setting down the box, kneeling next to it to see what's in there. The music... notes... she woke up one night and had in in her head, maybe? But there is the letter staring at her, and she pulls it out.

The outside reads "Open and read only if you want honesty."

She looks at the envelope, reading that. And then looks to him a question in her eyes. "Adam, what does this mean?"

"I mean.... if you want to know what I've been thinking, honestly, there it is. Maybe you don't really want to know. But you have a choice."

She spent a long moment looking at the envelope, before taking a breath, and opening it. And starting to read.

Her eyes are tied to the letter, so she can't see if he's watching her. But if not, the apartment is quiet - no AC running, or fan, she was away for the last few days and the air hangs stuffy and heavy and silent. The soft crinkle of paper as she looks over the page - stops, and goes back to the top and starts again. And then the softer sound of breath catching... and faint taps of liquid hitting the pages, and being brushed away so they don't blur the ink.

If he's still there. If he didn't slip out while she read.

He didn't leave.

And she reaches the end.. and doesn't look up. A few more moments, and she wipes her eyes again. "You're right. That.. what I said. It wasn't fair. To... judge you on what you're aren't... " Voice low.

"You were upset." Mumbled.

"But... it's not fair, either... for me to know what you want to be... and pretend like it's not something... I hoped you wouldn't achieve. That's not fair of me.. or fair to you." Looking up to him. "I never wanted you to be sidhe, even if it DID mean you'd still have your own soul. Because it would change you... and I was afraid... and I think, still am... of who you might turn into."

"How can I stand by your side, when I want to hold you back?"

"Yeah." He inhales and rubs the back of his hand over his eyes. "Yeah that would suck. I -do- want... I mean, everyone -else- is..... I've turned it down, though. Before. But if being Sidhe is a deal-killer for you.... yeah. I guess that's it."

"I don't want to be someone who keeps you.. keeps anyone from their dreams." Softly. "That's... anathema to what we are. And I... I know you'll be Fiona. I just, can feel it. Maybe that's why it doesn't make sense, my fears.

...and I couldn't go on your quest.. the one the chief wanted. To help you muse the mortals, to try to find the cure? Because what if I ended up standing in your way, even subconsciously, even not on purpose, because that's also to help you find your sidhe seeming? That goal is so much more that any of us... and if I were to bungle it? It would be the worst thing I could have ever done... even worse than what I have done, in ways."

"I get it." Muttered.

She looks up him, a mournful expression. "Do you?"

"Yeah."

"In the Raid... I didn't volunteer to be... bait... because I felt like I had to... thought I would have, if I'd thought about it... maybe. It was because it was the right thing to do. I can't fight, I can't fly, I can't sneak or call shadows or pull lightning from the air. I -can- grab attention. I -can- make people want things. And if I can turn that to something good... isn't that more important that worrying about if I might get hurt?"

"Maybe. but I didn't like it. I -still- hate it."

"But I sucked it up and did the job they gave me anyway......" muttered.

"...You wrote this to tell me how you really felt. ...thank you. I'm not trying to pick apart your feelings. " She sets the letter carefully aside and stands. "I know I already apologized... a few times." Piper admits. "But.. I'm sorry I'm not..." She hesitates, then fills in, "the person I needed to be." A hand reached out, imploring. "I hope that someday you can forgive me. I lied about a lot. But not about caring about you."

Then he -does- look at her, green eyes full, his expression miserable, heart-broken. "Yeah. I wish... I wish I could be the person you need. S'not .... I mean, you did what you needed to do. So there's nothing to forgive. I........"

She can't help it, she reaches to wrap her arms around him...

He holds her with a soft sob, bowing his head to her shoulder.

Piper holds him back, not asking for any more than he can give right now - just, holding him back, arms wrapped just so, the way they fit snugly just under his arms, and around his back, the way she folded into his embrace so many times before.

She feels so good against him, warm and caring; it helps the hurt, a bit. Adam embraces her in return with strong, athletic arms. Her shoulder might get just a little damp.

Some where, something like a thump.. too effusive, surrounding to identify where it came from

She leans into him, has his chest may have a damp spot as well. and the sound - she doesn't look up, not right away...

It appears gone.

Eventually, he takes a deep breath, breathing in her scent and the heat of her neck. He exhales slowly and it tickles the fine hairs there.

A moment longer, she holds on, fingers laced behind his back... then her hands slide free, and she moves back.

He looks puzzled, confused; hope and regret warring in his eyes.

Another small step back, arms wrapping around her sides. "Thank you, Adam. I'll take your words to heart." Sincerely.

Oh, that wasn't what he was hoping for. He nods, eyes down, and turns to go.

"You said... you hoped you could help me." She says, as he turns. "You are.. I think, you already have. ..and... Adam, I don't want this to be goodbye. I don't want to be strangers, or... or pulled up in the fighting pit because we can't look each other in the eyes. Can we try to be.. not at odds... at least? I don't want that."