#bergen_county

The Dreaming considers letting Dagmar DIE of embarrassment... then decides naaah

Brekke is not particularly enjoying this conversation either, judging by her color...but thank goodness it's dark outside.

"Well.... yes? But no, I mean, I don't want to be enemies or angry with her, or be fighting all the time.... I mean, I'd like to be friends. Dagmar, I've -always- wanted to be friends. I'm -sorry- if I hurt you."

Mortified, purple. "He never did anything I didn't want. I even told him I could if he wanted to, and he said no. But he wanted... he deserved..."

"It was my fault."

"Adam, if you did not want a relationship on those terms, why was Dagmar the one who had to end the relationship?"

Now he looks like he needs a translator for the Chief, too. " 'Cause.... Chief, have you ever broken up with someone?"

She scrubs angrily at her eyes.

A blink...and a stony expression. "I have."

Even now, Adam looks like he'd like to comfort Dagmar. Instead he says "Well, if it's mutual that's good but.... I don't.... I didn't want Dagmar to be the Dumpee."

"You...felt you were trying to protect her from that. Is that the truth?"

"Yes."

Eyebrow. "Adam...?"

He squirms. "That's the truth."

"No. There is more to it."

"I also didn't want to get my ass kicked."

Muttered.

A blink.

"If I dumped him, then he would be the good guy and it had to be me."

"That's -not- it, Dagmar."

"It had to be my fault. That way, you could go fuck Piper without guilt. And I know what Sylvi said, if you hurt me."

Brekke looks puzzled. "What Sylvi said?"

Adam sighs.

"The usual, like - if you hurt her, you'll pay, right?"

"Trying to be protective."

"Or... or did you think I'd hurt you?"

Sudden realization.

" 'S not important. I really only didn't want Dagmar to be the Dumpee. I thought if she dumped me, then she was walking away but that's not how she feels and I don't know what I could have done different. Did you want me to break up with you? Do you want me to be angry at you? Jesus, I don't know what I'm supposed to do ......"

"You wanted to be with Piper! I'm not stupid!"

"You wanted a girlfriend who could be with you, but it'd ruin your narrative if you dumped me for not... for... for everything. For being fucked up."

Adam groans.

"Is she right, Adam?"

"About what? Being fucked up? No! She's not fucked up! That I wanted a girlfriend who wanted to be with me? Yes! -Wanted-, not -could-! That I wanted to be with Piper? Yes, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to be with Dagmar IF she -wanted- to be with me, but she didn't! That it would ruin my narrative? I'm not even sure what that means!!"

"That you, Adam, are the damn main character who the rest of us play around. But if any of us say one thing wrong, then we're big bad meanies that get in your way."

"And I didn't want to be the bad guy, but it feels like I didn't have a choice, and when I tried to just... just get some space, that's when you started running away from me like I was some rampaging monster."

"Or getting told I have to 'be friends' even though I feel torn up and angry and hurt when I think about it, but I gotta be better and smile and act like everything is fine."

"Because, hey, don't forget, I dumped you."

"Because I can't just not be fucking friends. Because I'm not allowed?"

Now that the honesty is flowing, Brekke stays quiet, not interrupting Dagmar.

"And now I'm in trouble because I couldn't make nice enough. So I'm the bad guy again."

There she interrupts. "You are not in trouble, Dame."

"This sure feels like being in trouble."

"No. This is resolving a long-standing problem. It feels like being in trouble because it was allowed to go on too long."

"And I didn't want to be on the 'enemy' list, I saw plenty of what that means. Guess it's too late now."

"The 'enemy' list?"

"If you aren't one-hundred-percent for Adam, and everything he wants, then you're his enemy."

Brekke takes a breath. "Adam, you did not want to be punished for hurting Dagmar. You avoided this by manipulating Dagmar to do the breaking up so that you would not be to blame. Dagmar, you did not want to be punished for protecting yourself, but because you did the breaking up you feel you are being judged and punished, and are treating Adam with resentment as a result. You have each wronged the other as well as yourselves."

"I wanted her to have the -power-." He protests.

A little croak.