#bergen_county

---------------

In the County Seat...

in a private room

Nadeen looks about, "I think this is a storage room? Hardly uhm.. glamourous, but private?"

The Hearth is notably anxious as they close the door. "It will serve. Baroness, I am going to be honest and candid with you. It may not be proper of me, but I hope you'll listen. I'm worried about the path you're taking, this notion of political marriage for the sake of your father's advancement. I think you may be taking it too far."

"I assure you, I only plan to marry one" she says "i'm not so greedy as to think I can get them to agree to a situation with one wife, three husbands." A thought "Though it would be quite the coup"

"Well, you're also not House Fiona, but that's not what I mean. Baroness...." A pause. "Nadeen, you know that you don't love any of those men. You may learn to appreciate any of them, but I don't think a political marriage is worth abandoning a love that may already exist. And I think...I suspect...that you do feel that way for somebody you already know."

She says "Love is a seelie idol, Hearth."

But she bites her lip slightly as she says it

"And unseelie never love? You know that is a lie. I know it, too, or have you forgotten my husband's nature?"

The noble, newly named, newly confidant, a ruler born, looks into the eyes of the Hearth, the guardian, and involuntary knight- and the sidhe blinks first and looks away "Mister Davidson loves you with a passion that borders on the sort found in stories, but with depth and breadth no page can contain. Yes. But..while we might love. I am Varich. My heart is colder than some. And I cannot oath true hearts. Politics makes sense. Power? makes sense? Love is ...too difficult to tame."

"That is what makes it a worthy challenge, Nadeen. Yes, it's difficult, and it's rarely tamed...but its worth is unequaled. Now...I know you're going to go out and meet your suitors. You will dance and speak and let them try to win you. That's all fair. But don't give yourself away to any of them tonight. No agreements, no promises. Merely...polite interest. Promise me that you'll offer no more than that until you've made an effort to speak with the one...or ones....who truly hold your heart, and to tell the truth of your feelings. I ask it for your own benefit, Nadeen, for you'll regret it always if you don't. Agreed?"

At the mention of challenge the gir's back stiffens, "You know more about Varich than you let on, I agreed to ten minutes of talk, what you ask is a great deal more than that. And..who, pray tell do you think holds MY heart?" Oh proud defiant wilder, "I am myself now, free of all."

Kerri pauses and backs off a pace. "It's true, you've been generous with your time. I asked for the ten minutes that you might hear me. The rest I ask that you might hear yourself. And...I think the one who might hold your heart does not know she does." The last said gently, a tentative guess.

Alarm "Was it that obvious?I ... " A pause and uncertainty again. Tenative or not, she believes the Hearth has guessed aright. "I tried to hide my interest. It was easier when she called me Not Tanya and loathed me. I should have kept the oath on her, but in a moment of weakness I couldn't bear the thought of her fearing being pulled from her family by my father or I... that's what love does for one. Makes them put a spike in the pattern over the whole of it. Does anyone else know? How great a laughing stock have I been?"

"A laughing stock?! Not at all! No, Nadeen....no. There is nothing foolish about what you feel, and you have not acted the fool. And now...I'd always wondered why you'd released her, what inspired you to do that. Now I understand. It was more than generosity...you couldn't bear to see her hurt." A sigh. "I think Sylvi may suspect, but I don't know about any of your other friends." A pause, and a revelation. "Wait...Nadeen...did your father know of your love for her?"

"When, I was sained, I remembered more..of the time... as much as one can truly remember. I remember... we were in cascade of great snow flakes as large as the palm of my hand. We pulled the coach over, she and I... and in it's warmth and through it's window, we.. held hands and ... more. That was another life, of course. I remember how she protected me... sworn to father she was, you know? She was HIS Knight but my... my guardian, at first...and again.." A breath. "I'm a fool. I was a fool. There was something in the Dreaming. Father wanted me to see to my tasks, to tend to my duty for the family. A grand plan for House Varich. I was willful, and it nearly cost us everything... A crumbling castle, a horrible flash of green... my fault but father managed to salvage it. And set it in motion... I have to rebuild that. I can't with Dagmar no matter how much I care about her, or zane..."

"But...Nadeen...he sent her here with you. If he knew of your affection for her...perhaps he meant that to be continued. Perhaps he meant for your love to have another chance."

"Or he did it as a lesson in discipline who is to say? Besides, what would I do in Rivervale? Besides alarm the locals that a dread unseelie Sidhe was plotting to take Rivervale? THe Chieftain is too kind to say, but she knows that there is distress among some. I am not heir. I cannot afford to be heir. She cannot have me as heir. I may not agree with her politics in all things but I truly understand the restraint. The Count? He has no need of me. And all the baronies in Bergen are taken. They do not want Unseelie lords or ladies ruling in this Gwydion land anyway. So what would I be? Leech with a title? Mooch of the monarchy? You're not a sidhe, you don't understand the pull of power to us. It is not a dark or light thing, it just is. Adam? Adam's almost mad to be seen as great. And he's just a mortal with too much sidhe blood. I am a real true Arcadian. I am every traditonalist's hope and every Modernist's night mare, but I cannot be ignored, I cannot be sidelined. I can't even wish for it. Trolls need tasks to feel whole. Well, I need one too, but it has to be something beyond patrols and the like. So ... love is here, MAYBE. But what is love if I sacrifice all that makes me sidhe in hopes of getting it? "

Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

Kerri looks like she might argue, then pauses, and sighs, dropping her hands. "Nadeen, I can't argue with your logic. Rather, I can't argue with it except to say that logic absent of love causes one to make twisted ethical decisions. I don't know how to unravel this problem, but I do know that it's utterly unfair to Dagmar not to let her know what you know. And for that matter, Zane needs to understand how you feel as well, if you haven't told him. As a satyr, he's more resilient than many, and he'll find a way to cope. But Dagmar...." a sigh. "You know what her mortal life was like before she woke, Nadeen. I worry that she may seek love, or something resembling it, in the first place it shows up...and that might go very badly for her. Please tell her. Whatever else you eventually decide to do, tell her the truth."

"if Adam breaks her heart, I don't care how much like the Count he looks, I'll hollow him out and feed the crows with what I've scooped with my art. Each crow will dine on him, and they'll carry the message of the undigesting meat forever inside them, cawing 'I wronged someone special to a varich'. Sluagh will shudder and nod as they hear it, and the pooka will still... and boggans will whisper of 'that poor mortal boy who went too far'" A flare, that sidhe ire, but not at the Hearth, but at the idea, then she calms, "So you see... he wouldn't dream of hurting her intentionally."

Kerri stares, and yes, she takes a step back. "Baroness...." she says quietly. "You must tell her."

"She has enough problems, some of which others don't even see. Do you have any idea how much this new baby has shaken her world? It near drove her into unseeliehood, which is fine really, but it also threatens to have her break from her father and Tove because she's convicned they're going to break from her once the 'real' child comes into play? You want me to add some past life... sentimentality on top of that? I am not crucial to Rivervale, but Dagmar is. She is far too much a part of it. You need her, you don't need me. I may not be seelie ,but I have more honor, more gratitude, than to destroy a family and a friendship by complicating things further for her. And Zane? I cast him off... not even as a friend. And there's not a day I don't regret it. Not just for the pleasure of his bed, which was sweet, but because he.. he has grown. I have invested much. WOuld he be a suitable husband? No. but a fine lover who advises.. he's got no idea of his potential. Did you know he's been studying arts? Not just power, but how it works, how to mix it... the man's a future sorcerer IF he tries."

"ANd you'd have me hold both back? Because I'm lonely? I am self absorbed, but not to the point of destroying people"

Kerri stares at her. "Baroness, you care so deeply for both of them, you notice so much about both of them...this is not about you being self-absorbed! They have both grown partially because of you! You have helped them, and they you, and who is to say that you wouldn't be able to continue helping each other grow?" Then her tone gentles. "Baroness, it is possible, that...for you...love might conquer all."

"I'm Unseelie. I have my moments, but I.." A breath

"Baroness...for an unseelie...you are very concerned with duty...honor...and love." Gently.

"Duty to my father, yes..." A frown "And perhaps passion before duty is where I fail... but only that my father must be my passion now. Honor is a lie. I've seen too much of that... but I still will have some of it, for it is a sweet lie. ANd Love? Love is a greater lie than honor ever was"

A sad smile. "I haven't found that to be true."

"you're a troll... they need not be Seelie, as your husband proves, but the power of oaths makes much right by them. Also, were you listening?I want power, power of some sort and not JUST for my father's sake. And there is no power for me at the lodge. I Will nver be Chief or hearth or mountain or storm. What shall I tell my father? i'm a thane? Sally Mae outranks me... and as for influence, your daughter, who has earned it I admit, is a grand emmisary. What am I? It's not JUST for father.. I am seflish too. I just hide it better than some"

"Yes! You must seek power! And your father sent Dagmar here to help you!"

"DAGMAR is better off without.. stop twisting everything I say and your ten minutes are up... Good DAY, Dame " And she storms out

a turmoil of emotions quite unlike her 'ice princess' act

Leaving Kerri in the storage room

Kerri takes the full brunt of that and stands, a bit shaken, alone in the storage room. Then she exhales and droops a bit. That may have just gone horribly wrong. She shakes her head, then takes a deep breath to compose herself before rejoining the party.

Vali asks "Pardon me for butting in, but how goes the politicing for her? Is she any good?"

Olgar who had just mentioned the arm touch thing, turns to see Vali, "Where have you been?"

"Hanging out with other Beaumayn and some Eiluned" Vali says "Doing the court meet and greet thing. Much like she's doing it seems"

"Oh, she's brilliant at it. A natural. She's certainly pleasing those three." Kerri's bitterness is hard to miss.

"And this is bad because?" Vali says

Olgar sighs, "You spend way too much time around noble sidhe, Vali."

"She's essentially selling herself, Vali. I know it's the way the nobles do things, but...she hasn't finished high school, yet she's being courted by titled sidhe from as far away as Feathered Serpent...and none of it is for love."

"Political alliances are quite common, I'm afraid," Vali says "It's one avenue to power and influence. And with a hold unlikely to come to her, she does have fewer options"

"Graduating and holding onto her agency might be one option, but you know me, I'm crazy like that"Olgar grumbles

"There's got to be another way, Vali. She's got greater capacity to love than she believes, but she's letting advancement of her father's agenda come before her own happiness. She thinks it's selfless and dutiful, and you know I respect service and duty...but this feels terribly wrong."

"She might be selling herself short, that's for sure. Anyone who can win the Gwydion vote for a Banner House even though she can't win a vote from her own has the potential for lots of influence," Vali says "You heard right? Pre Samhain, she talked the Chieftain into excercising infleunce on Parliment and sending a vote of sorts amid the Gwydion delegation? Threw the balance in favor of a new Banner House. Far as I know, that's the first time the Chieftain has even noticed the Parliament was there and Nadeen used the Chief's pull like a sucker punch against those who were going to vote it down." He says "House Beaumayn was impressed I can tell you"

Olgar nods "Yeah yeah.. I heard about some of that nonsense."

"I heard a bit about it, yes, but....wait...why did she do that? Did she owe the Truthbranches anything?"