#anywhere

"Come and sit with me." She leads him to a pair of chairs and settles in.

"I am utterly certain, Vali, that every wilder felt the same way, in the same situation. Some more virulently than others."

And he does. "I know, but it's not just vanity or fear of the winter within growing, it's... for me, it means my place in certain destinies is further and further away... from director, to guardian to...to observer. Indeed, there will be times when I cannot be there for her. For them."

She nods; he realizes that she's been there.... and over and over. She's watched the ones she cared for grow distant. He was one of them.

A look, at her "Ah. Mmm blindness of youth on display for my part it seems. I'm sorry. You worried for me even when I was away training for House Beamayn after the issland didn't you? Even when I had become a wilder?"

She nods. "Even now." mildly.

"Humbling" He says, then "Gerd must stay at Rivervale a bit longer. There's something great and terrible waiting. But I have.. choices. And no matter which choice I make. I fear I shall offend a lady I respect very much. More than respect truly"

Her lips curl in a small smile. "I suspect you do not refer to one single lady."

"You and the Chieftain, actually. Who are as night and day and yet both with similar enough hopes in some ways and each with their own honor. And both of you , arguably, might have need of me even if lately I wonder... ah but nevermind that."

"Tell me." She urges gently.

"I wonder which of you needs me more, and I worry that if I thought it was you, you'd be insulted." A look at her, "You have more troubles than others know" he says looking about very carefully, then back "Too much magic perhaps? too much lore. You are a cup 3 times full. I don't.. see how you manage it. I know a few help, but.. if I came here and tried to... I worry you'd be offended if I acted as a crutch to you"

She is thoughtful a moment. "Well. I have a crutch." She indicates the tall walking stick she uses now. "I would not be insulted if you thought I need you more than Baroness Brekke needs you. I might question the statement, but it would not insult me."

"Good. And...the Chief might need me too. If it makes you feel better" He smiles a bit then shakes his head "Which is why choosing is so darn hard. Apparently I still think more in noble mode than sidhe mode... Baroness rather than chief, Knights rather than Storms, Mountains or Hearths. On the other hand, I enjoy the informality of the lodge. It's... I am grateful for the choice but sometiems I worry I've forged myself into a creature that will never really fit anywhere"

A head tilt. "Vali.... you know that you don't have to choose, yes? At least as far as I am concerned? It is true the Baroness and I don't get along, and thus, anything you might call a 'relationship' between our holdings is... insubstantial... but you need not choose between us for -my- sake.

"Trolls are very selfish in our selfLessness. " He says "We need to be needed at times. I think that's why Gerd needing me less actually stings" A nose wrinkle "I'm afraid sidhe don't have the monopoly on arrogance, we trolls just have our own twist on it. Even sometimes with our loved ones."

Thea pats his arm. "Wilders push. It's part of their nature, their development."

A smile "Oh, yes. Thanks to the girls, the liquor cabinets are stocked more often and more hair is lost every day. They're a hoot. Siv overshares.... Sylvi has discovered there is wrong in the world and would like folks to heed her more often on how to fix it... Dagmar doesn't want to fix the wrong but she's not sure why she's not able to punch it out " He pauses "Did I mention Dagmar is Gwydion? In retrospect it makes sense."

"Do I know the young lady?"

Vali looks at her, "yes. More than once you've met. Burly, biracial trolll girl with a really rough past though you might know that part. Carries a huge halberd." A lower voice "is the memory loss getting worse?"

"Ah!" Recognition. "Gwydion? Hm. I don't think I see it but you would know her better than I. If you feel it is a good fit, it must be."

(No, she doesn't answer his question.)

A nod at the answer...and the non answer, "She's a good kid, lots of fun. She ah.. jousted with a Ford Thunderbird and won."

"She saved two lives. One of them yours truly" He says

"You were in danger?"

"Comes with the territory" he nods "Nearly died... honestly, I made a slip. I was running my actions based on a vision, neglected the vision might apply to me. But Siv and Dagmar handled it.. Siv rooted the roaches out, Dagmar stomped them"

She rises, frustrated.... and calls for tea.

"i'm okay now" he assures her.

"Yes, well. " Tartly "I am not. Hmmph."

A chuckle "if it helps, when Tiff found ouut she gave me a good chewing out"

"Good. I knew I liked her." The Countess sits again.

"Apparently I am a very bad damsel, to be denied biscuits if I get wounded again." A sigh "Pooka. I... always thought I'd end up with a sidhe, or troll, but it's gotten pretty serious between the two of us. Honestly ? if I stay at rivervale, I might try to steal her away." A confession, "It's gotten beyond 'puppy love'"

A soft sigh. "Oh Vali......."

"You don't approve?" Not offended.

"Of that pun? Certainly not."

"I would release her to you, without question or hesitation, if it were her wish and yours."

A smile "Oh that. Chronic condition that" Then at her rest, "Thank you. Obviously she gets a say. I have learned that in this here 21st century, women of all kiths and kind tend to rile when men get presumptive about what is best for them. Odd huh?"

"I beat the tendency out of most of those around me." She's .... probably not serious?

He nods somberly "probably why your County scores well on IQ tests."

"Mmmmm...." The tea cart arrives and is set up. She pours for herself and offers him some.

He partakes, "I think part of my concern, once I go graybeard is that .. well, I'll get set in my ways. And where I set, I'll stay. I guess I worry that... I'll not have as much choice. Silly I suppose. "

"You would probably not remember... I traveled a bit as a wilder. Had adventures." She casts her mind back. "Of course, even as a wilder I ... settled down. Grew roots at New Agengard."

"I remember sometimes you would go out to 'consult' with someone in Apples or the like. I always wondered if consult was eiluned code for dancing, on a date, or even, dare I say it? A quest." A smile "But yes, mostly I remember you tilting your head and trying to hide your smile as I 'spied' on you. Your lips hid it well, but your cheeks betrayed you a touch." Fondly "So, young wilder thea was a hell raiser?"

"Moderately." She hedges. "It is more comfortable, now, to stay home."

"And .. you don't regret that? The...centering?" He's not sure that' s the right word

"Oh heavens, no." She smiles.

"No? mmm"

She sips her tea. "Approaching my own last Togail, I was... very nearly sick to my stomach." She says honestly. "But afterwards.... it was like I'd been holding my breath and finally... finally I could breathe again."

A sip of his own, thoughtful, "But... doesn't turning from participant to..spectator make you feel...and I can't believe I'm saying this the second most powerful sorceress I've ever met, less powerful?"

"Second most?" An arched eyebrow. "No, Vali. I know I have nothing to prove. I can't speak for others, of course."

"you have a point" A nod, then a smile "Okay, you're the most powerful sorcress I personally know , but I didn't want you to think I was buttering you up"