#anywhere

"Check what?"

Ooc sorry, wasnt updating! Dlp.

"Yeah, kid, I'm... I'm a nocker."

"A nocker" he takes it all in 'So weird but it sounds right- all of it. I don't..." He looks around "warm!" it is not a yell, just another whisper, but an excited one. "It's warm here. I can see more colors and feel...it's like...river water, there's something flowing"

She nods. "This is a good place, aye. Warm, full of glamour. And we need glamour like air and water."

"yes... I don't want to not be me"

Clem says gently "Zara, the boy is half starved. Why don't you go see if we have some food in purple for both of you?"

"OH! Aye! Aye, there are supplies... and, surely, he needs tea... Miriam can help you, Master Jacob. She knows much. I shall prepare a repast."

"thank you?" the boy mimics the bow given him earlier, hand splay and all.. as zara makes her way to tend to this.

though he does look to Miriam "I need tea?"

"Yeah, Zara. See if you can get him filled up. I gotta talk to Emmitt."

"Yeah, kid, probably. I think it's a union thing."

"Come on," Clem says to the boy "You are going to love tea I bet. We'll let her set it. no one sets better tea than Zara. "

and Clem, Zara, and Jacob go.

Miriam heads for Emmitt.

Emmit looks at the nocker "What can I do you for?"

She shoves the tiny bracelet at him. "What's it say?"

'Jacob Xavier.. co something" He says "Here, moment" He takes it casts and.. all the old print becomes clear.

'Jacob Xavier Cohen' Date of birth in very small print, blood type, same as Miriams

She swallows HARD, going pale under her designs.

"I take it that is your surname?"

She nods, disconnected.

"Hell of a thing to learn, you want a shot of whisky? Tea maybe all right for some, but with news like this... a bit of liquid corn might do better"

She nods, still off line.

He guides her to his cabin, and gets her a shot of good strong stuff after sitting her down "Have a snort, whatever kick it's got, can't compare to finding out you've got another kid"

"I wanted him tp be lying." She mumbles. "I didnt.... I didnt want ... it to be true." She drinks. Not a sip, her throat swallows as she downs about half of it.

"Mmm" He nods "But it is. So..."

"So?" Croaked.

"So.. why didn't you want to be? not that I can't think of a reason, I can think of more than one, but I don't know which it is."

She looks at him with red eyes and knocks the rest of the drink back before saying. "All of 'em, what do you think?!?!"

"He reminds you of your rape and therefore you want none of him? Clem thought that might be why you were avoiding zara, but you told her that'sw not it. It's not just your daughter who scries" he shrugs "So... what else? You don't feel ready? You have other plans? You worry if you stay here for him while you were going to leave for Zara will make her feel like it IS her even more or at leasta kind of resentment towards him?"

"Furk, I thought you were supposed to grok this shit. Ain't ever just one thing wrong, is it? It's all what you said, an' other shit too, and I ain't proud a' any of it!"

"Well, Agnes told me she tried to warn you that you were in danger driving a wedge between Zara and she, and because she didn't word it right, you took offense.. so I kind of figured what ever I said you might be pissed about" He pours another shot for himself, offers her another refill ,and says "You seem awful certain you'd be a bad mother for a woman who had both her chances stolen from her through no fault of her own. I mean, maybe you're not Mary Poppins, but who the 'furk' is?"

She takes the drink amd drinks it steadily; she appears to have a goal in mind. "Lookit it, lookit the situation. Zara don't see me right, I try to talk sense to her, truth, she just clams up all hurt. Now this poor kid... " she voice catches and cracks. "Yeah. Yeah, they -both- remind me 'bout what happened, what I -think- happened... An' that make me feel even worse! Ain't their fault! Ain't mine!! But...."

"But it hurts" he nods

"But.... I still....I want..." she finishes the second drink.

"what do you want? Say it clear" He says

" 'Em. I want 'em. Prolly can't have 'em, prolly shouldn't... but...I do." She holds her glass put again.

"Who the hell says you can't? Maybe zara doesn't see you 'right' but that doesn't mean she won't grow to appreciate real-er wart-ier you? She's nearly a woman, but she loves family. She's been begging you to stick around for days. Maybe she sees wrong, maybe she sees MORE than you see? My apprentice is an insightful girl at times. " proud "And yes, you'd be another mother, Hannah is..well, damn, if you try to 'compete' you'll be miserable, but sharing? Why there's enough pride for all involved to have in that girl and her heart's as big as this farm, plenty of room in Zara's heart. As for the boy? He's scared, hungry, and shaken- and I suspect unsained . I'll tend to that latter for free. You can do the rest and you'll find you're not alone there either. Agnes may seem a hard case, but she'd knock herself out to help a mother help her child. "

Grimly. "Yeah the Schwarz's are another thing." She waggles her empty glass at him. "They did the heavy liftin'. Ain't gonna crap on that. "

"Who says you're crapping on it? Embellishing maybe, a few touches. What, does a body shop 'crap' on a muscle car just because it layers on the weather resistant paint job with style?"

"I'm teaching her, and I'm not crapping on her upbringing. I'm doing things for others didn't or wouldn't"

"One thing I know, pishers cant stand to be dissed abput their work. Better I stay outta it, I'll say the wrong thing. She can't get too pissed a Hirim, he's her brother? Me? Feh."

"Well, I admit, telling her how she's doing mothering wrong would be asking for a fight from ANY Mother, so don't do that- but she might appreciate an extra set of eyes. Like I said, I'm teaching Zara, doesn't mean I'm taking away or crapping on what others have raised into her- Though how folks can live without bacon boggles my mind"

"Yeah, probably the attitude up there. You oughta wear an oxygen mask. Might improve your looks, too." She gives up shaking her glass at him and goes to get the bottle herself.

He pours some more "keep your shirt on"

She drinks.

Then says "Look. How about maybe your own place, doesn't have to be big? A spot of your own. Zara chooses whether to visit you or not. You don't step on Hannah and Aaron's toes, but then you have your place where YOU call the shots and mother how you want?"

"Can't. Not yet."

"Because the mission... whatever the mission is?"