#rivervale_lodge

"As if it mattered? What... -why- would I care about the state of the Rig if she were in danger??"

"She was not in danger. She was at your side. She had completed a risky quest, and she wanted to know that she had done it well. Frank....what mattered more to you then was not that she was in danger...but that you had not been in a position to protect her."

He looks over at her.

He shakes his head. "What mattered to me was that she thought the state of the Rig meant more to me than her state."

An eyebrow. "Do you believe that is what she thought?"

"Yes."

Brekke sighs. "There has been much miscommunication going on. Sometimes among all of us, and sometimes with ourselves. Frank...did you ask her if she was well? Did you check if she was faded?"

A long pause. "I did not ask; I could see she was not faded."

A nod. "Then you know that her state mattered more to you than the state of the rig. I can tell you that, from what I understand from her, what upset her was not that, but that you did not recognize the work she had done, the challenge she had defeated. She wanted recognition. Instead, she got scolded." A pause. "She has a right to choose the challenges she will face without us punishing her because we cannot protect her from those chosen challenges."

"She -perceived- a scolding. I did not scold her. I was upset, and left before I could lose my temper. And -I- am -allowed- to be upset."

"You were upset because she took a risk. She has a right to take a risk. You were upset that she chose to do something you did not wish her to do. You do not have the right to be upset about this with her anymore, Frank. She is grown. She has the right to choose, to risk, and to succeed or fail. We cannot keep her from that, or be angry about it."

"I damn well -can- be angry about it."

"How? Anger has a target. Who is your target? Her? Me? The others who made a decision...a good decision...when you were unconscious?"

"I do not agree that it was a good decision." Sharply.

"I think it was. I would have done it myself if I had not been with you."

"I know."

"And it would be my choice to do so. If I succeeded, if I returned healthy and whole, would you let your disagreement about whether I should have done it stand between our marriage?"

"No." Grudgingly.

"Then you cannot let it stand in the way of your relationship with your grown daughter. Either one of them." She gestures at the truck cab. "The last time you drove away from here in the Dawn Treader, you almost died. Today you said you are about to drive away again. I do not like it, but I trust you make your choice. I will come to help you if you need me, but I will not stop you from going, nor punish you on your return."

"You must give Siv as much respect as you expect for yourself, at the very least."

"I can respect someone -and- disagree with them."

"Yes...but you have no right to get angry about a choice she has a right to make."

"Frank...did you acknowledge her accomplishment at all?"

He thinks about it. "Yes." quietly.

"But you did not thank her."

"No."

"She deserves to be thanked for her efforts in the face of risk, even if she chose the risk."

Frank sits back with his arms folded over his chest. "I didn't -ask- for it, I didn't -want- it, I'm, yes, still -upset- about it. I do not -feel- grateful. If you want me to thank her, I will."

Brekke considers that. "Not gratitude, then. But praise that she did so well, even if you wish she had not done it."

"You believe our, or my, praise means so much to her? Or gratitude? She... made it clear that's not the case, I think."

"I think the lack of it means a great deal to her, yes."

"Mmphm." Unconvinced.

"I... will try."

"I appreciate that." She looks at him. "What do you need me to do, Frank?"

He sighs and rubs his chin with a rasping sound. "I don't know, Brekke. It's ... history repeating itself. Again."

"Yes. it concerns me."

"I will tell Siv she did well, that the Rig is in great condition. If you think it will help. I can't not- worry about her, though."

"Tell her that as well. But if you can bring yourself to do so...ask her for the story of her trip. Let her tell you her adventure...and celebrate the parts she is proud of, if you can."

A sour look. "A 17 hour solo maiden trip without a CDL or real back up?"

"Exactly. A challenge. See what she would like to tell you about it. How she managed problems. And praise her solutions. After all...they worked."

"Offer alternatives, if you wish, as well. Not corrections...alternatives."

"How do I explain my shot-white hair when I see her next?"

A bemused look. "You cannot be angry. I did not say you cannot worry."

"-She- seemed to think worrying was off the table too. And I can -too- damn well -both- be angry -and- worry."

She shakes her head wearily. "She has a right to choose her risks. She is not our property. We cannot be angry about what she chooses to do with herself."

"Why not?"

"Because it is her life to live as she chooses."

He shakes his head. "Connor's birth father."

A blink. "What about him?"

"He is living his life as he chooses. He's not our property. He has a right to do as he wishes." He looks at her. "How do you feel about him and his relationship with Connor?"