#rivervale_lodge

A blink...she wasn't expecting that answer. "What kinds?"

"Pills and stuff. When I got hyper and annoying - I think it was Xanax? Or Oxy, sometimes. Smoked some, but I got in trouble when I threw up."

"I've had beer and stuff, too. Beer's pretty gross."

Sylvi frowns. "How'd they make you feel?" Then, "My folks like beer. I've had sips, but...meh."

"Dizzy and tired and.. numb. Like you aren't there. Her one boyfriend, he liked to give me stuff when he was drunk because I'd act a fool and everybody laughed at me."

"Wow...." Sylvi just stares at her a moment. "Um...you know that's not normal, right?"

She shrugs. "It's what it was." Resigned.

She rubs the back of her neck and looks away. "I can go home now."

"No, wait, sorry, I..."

She bites her lip, then says, "You still...you know, love her?"

"I guess. She's my mom."

A long pause. "You going to call her? Tomorrow, I mean?"

"No."

"Because...you don't want to."

"No point. She won't talk."

"What do you mean, she won't talk?"

"Doesn't want to talk to me." Mumbled, with a shrug.

"Oh." She frowns. "Do you know why?"

"I'm the reason she's in there."

"But...she's the reason she's in there. You're the reason she's not dead."

"Doesn't matter." Her jaw sets.

After a moment, quietly, "Might matter to her. I mean...even if she doesn't talk to you, might matter that she knows you tried...?"

"Don't want to." Strained.

"Okay."

A.... sniff?

Sylvi doesn't move, as if Dagmar's a wild animal that'll spook if she does.

She rubs the back of on oversized blue hand against her nose, and takes a deep breath. "Yeah, well, she's a loser that liked drugs more than me, so fuck her. In two years, I can get emancipated."

"Okay." Sylvi nods carefully. "And...you didn't get hooked or anything, so that's good. You can walk away from all that, right?"

"I'm not a junkie."

"Right, that's what I said. So...good."

"I'm not gonna be some, like, dealer or nuthin'."

"Well, no, because you're going to do something better."

A flash of worry. "You gonna tell your mom any of that?"

Sylvi looks at her. "No...I don't plan to tell her any of that. But I gotta tell you, Dag, if something happens where she has to know, I have to tell her. Like how you had to call to keep your mom alive. But it's going to have to be something serious." Firmly. "If you don't want her to know, I won't tell her. But...you know she'd be okay with you if you did tell her, right? I mean...Mom's seen stuff, too. So's Dad."

"I don't think she'd be that okay with it."

"All she's seen is Dagmar, right?"

A blink. "You're Dagmar." Confused.

"Yeah, but all that stuff... that's Sam."

"And...why wouldn't she be okay with it? None of it's your fault. You didn't do anything wrong."

Sylvi tilts her head at her. "It's the same person."

"Dagmar's the troll. The part that comes back."

"The special part."

"Yeah, but...you were always Dagmar. You just didn't know it until now."

"You're not like a sidhe. They're separate from their hosts, or at least more separate. You've always been you."

She twists her fingers together, shrugging. "But there's been Dagmar when there wasn't Sam, yeah?"

"And your mom probably wouldn't like it if she realized you were hanging out with..." A scowl. "Doesn't matter, you're leaving anyhow."

"With what? With..." Sylvi shakes her head. "Dag, you're one of us. I mean, geez, you get in less trouble than I do! You weren't here when I went off on a quest without telling them." A wry grin. "Actually, twice, kinda. Look...are you breaking into people's cars? Are you trying to, I don't know, get Gerd hooked on speed? Do you want to hurt the Lodge? Doesn't look like it to me." A shrug. "You're cool, and you're one of us."

"And I'm coming back, you know."

"Mmmph." Unconvinced.

"Okay, look...a little while ago you were thinking about those big bugs, and you were worried that maybe they'd hurt Matt and Jennifer. Far as I can see, that's not somebody a bad person would worry about."