True! Material, very, very dreadfully material I had been and am; but why would you say I am mad? My experiences had sharpened my priorities- not destroyed- not scattered them. Above all was my sense of reality acute. I knew all things to be either nonsense or the truth. I had traveled through both. How then, am I mad? Hearken, and observe how rationally, how reasonably I can tell you the whole story.
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It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night. Narnia? There was none! Magic, there was none. I loved the old lion. He had never wronged me. When he took my siblings he kindly let me behind. For his power I had no desire. I think it was his holiness. He had the aura unnatural, a goodness of spirituality that could not, should not exist. Whenever it fell upon me, my shame at my selfishness rose; and so, by degrees- very gradually- I made up my mind to take the life of the old lion, and thus free myself of his holiness forever and purge all such spiritual twaddle by arrow most solid. It was the 'gentle' thing to do.
-Excerpt From Susan Pevensie's Diary
