#ooc

I liked him.

Has anyone explored survivor benefits for her?

Yes

Sorry. I don't know if you guys remember but we've been through all this. If there were ANY way to afford putting her in a home, we would.

Yeah. I know.

Hey, Rahne. Welcome to the It's B's world, we're just living in it podcast

Oof. I hate that you're in this situation, Mr. D.

Oh I'm stressed, I'm pissed. But I'm not the one cheated of the most in this situation.

Want to know why B's daughter and SIL weren't in the House ?

Oh God....

B's Daughter and SIL noticed B was asleep, and decided, maybe, just maybe, with nothing planned that they might go have Brunch on their ANNIVERSERY

*face palm*

Ffs...

Oh, good grief.

Now, Maybe B forgot it was their anniversary. I did. But this is the world the daughter lives in now. We're in a Hag O Cracy

I wonder if B was always like this.

She was always a bit self absorbed and manipulative, but these later years and the dementia have brought out full blown Narcistic personality disorder

Yeah. My mother was the opposite throughout her life...selfless and accommodating to an extreme degree (it wasn't always good for her), and when she started sundowning she kept those personality traits -- slow to complain (which sometimes meant people didn't know when she was in pain) and eager to agree with others (even when she didn't). The nurses adored her.

I'm just figuring personality habits developed over time probably mostly get exacerbated as cognitive function declines.

Very possible.

Loss of filters.

Exactly.

Here's the thing. Maybe I should have just let her walk out there without trying to talk her out of it, without trying to delay her. But if I hadn't, and she'd run over some innocent ...even though it wasn't my doing, or my fault, my conscience would have eaten me alive after.

Catch 22s are so fun

I totally get it. In the balancing act of morality, interrupting their brunch was the more ethical thing to do, even if it seems like the more just thing to do is let B suffer the consequences of her own actions.

I was under orders to to let her daughter know if she tried to drive off. Then said daughter would call the police and inform them that a potentially dangerous driver was out and about.

Mm. So you had an out. nod But daughter changed the plans.

Uhm?

Sorry. Maybe I'm not communicating well.

In other words, you did what you were told to do, with the expectation that daughter would call the police. Daughter instead interrupted plans and came home to block B from going out. So the expected justice is interrupted.

Oh. No

No no

the police was only if B got out on the road.

Sorry.

Daughter and SIL still wanted to talk her out of it if they could

Right. Okay. I thought the point was to call daughter but not keep B from getting on the road. Got it now.

Well, more like THEY would try.

Again, more ethical, less justice. nod

Well, it sounds like you're blaming B's daughter and that's not what I'm trying to communicate nor do I think it's the case.

As soon as I texted B's plans they were like "On our way home" via text etc

Mmmm. Yeah, I see what you mean.

They may have broken a redlight to get here.

Oof.

Hence ruined Anniversary Brunch

The SIL is tempted to take the car battery.

At least remove the ignition line.

Unplug stuff, even.

Technically illegal though. Since it's her car.

And the Doctors are chickenshits... pardon, reluctant to commit to stuff like "Yes, B is a danger to herself and others"