"the solutions I see... One, raise your title, take co rule with your wife, Or Two... try to get Delores the title of Dame, officially, so you will be of equal rank and it easier to follow her orders in more cases if you think you do have a subconscious reluctance to serve a steward. Or 3... go the hercules route, and offer to serve her in three tasks or quests to make amends. See if she accepts. She might send you out to your death, but I don't think she's the type."