#goldfinchfreehold

The girl .. she is still not quite a woman as the world sees her, but she.. she doesn't feel like a girl either. She's..trying to figure it out. All she knows she's not special. She's got a foot in the door but can never cross the threshhold. Still, she's allowed here, just like any other mortal might be. She walks up to the sound booth, it's all set up with easy instructions. This isn't the hold part, this is where daughters of eve can learn music or even record. Or in her case, even just sing her heart out?

With all too mortal pipes

She puts the head set on, raises the mic, and , all alone, Lydia Wayburton, now a teenage girl, and a Kinain who has the blood but not the spirit of a satyr , sings.

"Don’t be upset or mad at all
Don’t feel regret, or sad at all" You start soft, you don't make waves, smile, happy face for the world, wouldn't want your parents to worry about you. Dad and bro FEEL so strongly.
"Hey, I’m still a part of the family Madrigal" Wayburton really, a respected family in academia and fae circles. So respected they can forgive her for not breeding true.
"And I’m fine, I am totally fine" at this part of the song you're supposed to let a little pain in. Not hard, because the pain is real.
"I will stand on the side as you shine" Her father is a professor, her brother a wizard hero, her cousin has the best voice EVER.
"I’m not fine, I’m not fine" No trouble getting her voice to quaver, nothing fake about the ache.
"I can’t move the mountains" She looks upward, like she always has to when talking to trolls. Do they know how imposing they are?
"I can’t make flowers bloom" A KID named Jack can do that, so easily!
" I can’t take another night up in my room" Where would she go? The internet? No one is allowed to talk, to tell!
"Waiting on a miracle!" The miracles aren't for daughters of Eve, never ever. They can dream really hard and feed the miracles of others if they're very very lucky. That's all.
"I can’t heal what’s broken" Heatherbalm and spring magics flow like water if you know the right people, the SPECIAL people.
" Can’t control the morning rain or a hurricane" She saw Sam's dad control the weather before. He did it with a gesture.
"Can’t keep down the unspoken invisible pain" Other kinain understand, too bad a lot of them were jerks, and bullies.
" Always waiting on a miracle, a miracle" They made her swear an Oath not to tell anyone of Rivervale of their actions. It wasn't a miracle, just a work around, that stopped them.
"Always walking alone" Oh her mom is by her side, but she's so darn happy they're not even on the same path. You would think they would be.
" Always wanting for more" Why can't she have a magic voice, or hooves that race?
"Like I’m still at that door
Longing to shine like all of you shine" When the enchantment fades, it gets so dark, she can barely see her own memories
"All I need is a change" But it's too late to 'become fae', barring sidhe body jacking and that wouldn't be her.
" All I need is a chance" She would love a chance ot show how amazing she is, but she's not.
" All I know is I can’t stay on the side" But she has to. She's not good enough. She thought she could sing well but Piper is so much better. Hell, TOVE is better and she's not even a satyr.
"Open your eyes
Open your eyes
Open your eyes" Open your eyes, she tells herself, This is as far as you get. You can stare through the glass but you never get inside.
"I would move the mountains" Oh she would if she could.
"Make new trees and flowers grow" Roses and ivy!
"Someone please just let me know, where do I go?" Even at home she feels lost
"I am waiting on a miracle, a miracle" Sometimes she wonders if she SHOULD just forget, let the banality take her.
" I would heal what’s broken" but then it would hurt her family. She loves them. She has to remember, even if it hurts, for their sake.
"Show this family something new "What would be new? She'll always be just an unfinished symphony in a land full of deep throated songs
" Who I am inside, so what can I do?" If she tries more music and art, maybe she can dream.. be useful
"I’m sick of waiting on a miracle" Like a milk cow . She thinks bitterly.
"So here I go
I am ready
Come on, I’m ready
I’ve been patient and steadfast and steady" But that's not enough is it? It's like wanting to be an eagle when you're a tree, not even a tree, just some shrub, rooted and at best good for scenery, more likely in the way
"Bless me now as you blessed us all those years ago" Blessed others, not me!
"When you gave us a miracle
Am I too late for a miracle?" Despite the despair, her Cover is beautiful. But her thoughts? I was born too late for a miracle. I am this,, and no more.

A bit of glamour, frost touched with despair, flavored with profound melacholy.. escapes her. It's nothing, an iota, a speck. It's the best she can give... it drifts into the hold, hopefully to find a way to help feed the fire. It's like singing your heart out on a stage and seeing the janitor look up, the only one in the room, and give you a nod, but he doesn't pause sweeping. It's.. the best you're going to get.

After the song has ended and a few seconds have passed, there's a very light tapping at the booth window -- Sylvi's carefully manicured nails. She gestures at the door to see if she's allowed in.

Lydia jumps!

ANd flushes, opening up "Sorry sorry... it wasn't in use"

"Well, yeah, it was...by you. Not sure why you're apologizing." Sylvi joins her in the booth.

"Nothing just..." She hides behind her hair as girls do "I'll get my stuff so you can use it"

"I didn't want to use it. I wanted to see what you were up to. I couldn't really hear -- y'know, soundproofing and all -- but you had something going. I felt it."

"Glad it was useful then" How can someone be humble with just a touch of snideness at the same time? Teenage girls find a way

A blink, and she moves to sit cross-legged on the booth floor, back against a wall. "Useful? Weird word for it. It felt...strong. Real."

"your real or mine?" Guarded

A pause. "Okay, fair." She tilts her head. "How's your 'real' doing?"

"Mortal stuff... school starts up again. Get good grades. That sort of thing. " A beat "May have lost some...friends"

"Lost 'em? How?"

"Well, they .. they weren't friends not really." She shrugs "So no loss really" She puts on a smile. One that makes her look like been there, done with that and ready to go... but .. it doesn't quite reach her eyes "It's all good. Probably gonna join band"

"Oof. That's hard stuff. I mean, yeah, gotta put those boundaries up and put the foot down...but it's lonely for a while afterwards. They didn't hurt you, did they?"

The fake smile widens, oh she's good. Zane probably wouldn't suspect a thing "Hurt me? Gosh who said anything about that? I moved on. "

A smirk. "You know I still speak teen girl, right? I'm not that old, yet."

"Oh" A blush "You mean you're not going to buy that I'm trying to help 'Gosh' make a come back?"

"I mean, you can try, but that's gonna be a hard climb." She tilts her head a bit. "What happened?"

"Nothing" She says then adds "nothing I can talk about"

(Perception plus Empathy or Subtergue or best guess)

/roll 5

"Like...you made a promise not to tell, or somebody's got you under an oath, something like that?"

At the mention of the oath, she blanches

And Sylvi realizes she just hit it exactly!

Wide eyes. "Okay, don't say anything, hang on. Let me think."

"It's SETTLED" She says , cautiously "Someone else... handled.. things"

Apparently that doesn't reassure Sylvi. After a moment, she slowly says, "Y'know, I've got this friend named...um...Skydia," she shrugs almost comically at the impromptu name, "and you'll never guess the kind of oath she had to take once. Go ahead, guess. What was it that SKYDIA had to oath? Guess." A hand gesture to encourage her to pick up the opportunity.

"To never mind her own business so she was doomed to nose around?" She can't troll brow, being satyr blooded, but teen brow has it's own message

"Damn. Good guess. Okay, so yeah, but can you guess why they made her oath that?"

Hapless shrug

An expression of 'Come on, help me help you.'

"A method of control?" Unsure where Sylvi is going with this I'm not smart like my brother. I mean I'm smart, but not as smart. I'm not 'as' anything with them. Always someone 'more'

A sigh. "Okay, never mind about Skydia." She abandons that approach. "So...you say your situation is 'handled' -- who handled it?"

"Well.. the someone isn't from around here" She answers semi cautiously "I don't want her to get trouble for it"

A frown as she's trying to do the math. "So...somebody put you under oath not to talk about something, but somebody else -- female and not local -- 'handled' that first somebody?"

A frustrated look "I can't... "

"I should go" She says "I can't...things are still... in place. " indeed, she trembles a bit at something, worry on her face "But the important thing is, someone else stopped other people from doing bad things"

"You can't even tell me that. Oof."

"Hang on, wait. I mean, I'm glad that the bad things have been stopped, and I'm sorry that setting boundaries has lost you friends, but... Wait just another minute while I think this through."

The girl mock beats her head against the wall softly. Satyr blooded, so a bit of melodrama might be expected

"Oh, come on, chill out a minute."

"Okay, I'm pretty sure part of the oath is that you can't talk about it. Like fight club." A curious look. "Can you write about it? Or...sing about it?"

"Define "tell"?" She asks haplessly but she does stop thumping her head against the wall This would be so much cooler if I had horns to batter the wall with

"If they didn't define 'tell', then I'm going to define it for this purpose as relating information orally," she offers. "So...write something? If you start writing around it, you might get a twinge of warning if you're getting close to breaking the oath."