#earthrunes

".... and you feel constrained by that?"

"I.. when I get my degree, I can be a teacher. I can get a job, a good one, and stop..." She gestures, frustrated.

"Stop?"

"Stop living off of charity."

"Charity keeps Colton and I in that house. Charity gives me refuge here. I am thankful for all of Coradel and August's help, but..."

"You want more independence. "

"I... it's not... nobody is restraining me."

"But."

"But... I... I feel small. I brought my Five here, my loyal Five, and I failed them. Colton has grown from a traumatized boy into a fine young man, and I have nothing to give him. I have nothing for my Five. I... I had a chance, and I failed it."

"I respect the Count and Countess. It.. it is better, I think. They do better than I would have."

"Sparrow..... " and now he -is- chiding. "We just listed several different things you can give Colton. Your Five are healthy? They can turn to you in need? That is enough."

"I am concerned for you. You seem stuck in old, harmful, thoughts. That is not the Dream you are made of."

"I am not needed here."

Frank's head tilts, thinking.

"I am not well versed in these things. I only know what I read.... aren't you needed in the banner house?"

"That is August's."

"They are August's."

"And after him? Forgive me asking but... did he take the Changeling Way?"

"No. He is Arcadian. But I had lifetimes, was there a Truthbranch banner in my hand? No."

The troll nods. "It is difficult, of course, to know why banner houses are only now returning."

"But still, it is his. I will, of course, aid him. I aid here, heaven knows Coradel has little patience for inventory reports."

Frank chuckles.

"So it isn't charity here so much as what you have earned."

"Hm." A thought strikes the greybeard.

A scoff. "No. Charity and makework. Delores does not need me to hear reports. If I am honest with myself, I could leave and nothing here would change."

"Especially now."

He is still thinking.

"You are Regent and Heir here, yes?"

"Yes."

"Less need of a Regent with a Consort, of course. And I will not outlive Coradel."

"She is Fiona." Dryly.

"You are Liam, and you will return."

"This hold needs a viable heir, however."

"That is you. And as Liam,, you can be part of the banner house as well."

"I know."

"But it's..." She closes her eyes and shakes her head. "You don't understand."

"I do not." He agrees easily. "Can you educate me?"

"What I feel is... " A frown. "I guess irrelevant, isn't it? Of course I will aid with Truthbranch. Of course I have work here."

"I think how you feel is relevant, but perhaps not the only consideration."

"I will do my duty."

"I know." Quiet pride.

"I hope you will find joy in it."

"I have been thinking.... You realize you are probably heir to both the Barony and the banner house?"

"Yes, I suppose."

"That is quite a role."

"And perhaps in another life, Derynwydd will wield the banner as head. But this one?"

Frank rubs his chin. "It is a benefit to Liam, as well..." He muses.

"And in another life, Derynwydd had an Aerie of her own."

Frank sighs. "Sparrow.... sometimes you seem determined to be unhappy. And this is the pot talking."

"Perhaps that is it."