#earthrunes

Meanwhile, the Bonobos flirt a lot with Ivory, a lot as he winds his way through the hall unaware that one lady is ready to have a 'wardrobe' malfuction as she 'accidentally' gets in his way....

In five..

four...

The fellow moves closer to the ambush...

three...

two...

And then suddenly a different hand entirely reachdes out and pulls him to the side. "This way, side passage."

"Who..p ardon what's? " Ivory doesnt' know who this man is, but mmmph

"My name is Grey, House Scathach, in service to the Regent here... and you are being stalked. This way" Grey leads him through the passage.

"I didn't even see this passage" Ivory says.

"Eiluned control left overs. The Fiona mostly use it for trysts. I've had a lot of time to learn the winding hidden ways here" Grey says

"Here..." They come to what appears to be a slightly chll room of smooth cobble stones , hard back chairs, and absolutely no furniture for lounging. It's too sedate to even be converted into a proper sex dungeon. "You should be safe here....well, safe being a relative term."

"Safe from... sexual ambush?" He takes a seat at a square table which is too high up to play footsie with without it being transparent. A nocker greets him.

"Hey, Newbie" T he nocker says

"Exactly" Grey says "This room appears to have some sort of... I don't know how to say it... no one who has amourous activities on their mind seems to be able to find it"

"Well, of course," Ivory laughs "I..wait, you're serious?"

"Furking right he's serious. Half the court's in heat half the time then they swap! " The Nocker says "I do repairs around here. I can barely start up ANY power tool without jokes flying. This place has helped keep my furking sanity"

"We respect and admire the Baroness and salute House Fiona," Grey says "But sometimes, a man wants to just NOT think about sex."

"This conversation is surreal" Ivory blinks.

"Believe it or not. It's very real." Sir Grey says "it's not JUST Sex, of course, some ladies here, or gents, are quite into romance... but that too makes it hard to find this place. We have different theories on what formed it."

"Bets even" The nocker says "Baroness' subconcious mercy.. is one. Former Baron was far sighted is two... and option three is somehow Sir August created it with his own influence right before he was lost in the lifestyle of Fleshpit weekly"

"What if I want to face t he peril?" Ivory says curiously.

"Do I Look like a ##$$# eunach? of course we want to..." The nocker starts cursing.

"Easy," Sir Grey calms him

Then the Scathach explains "Of course we want that in our own time...we're not dead. But the point of fact is it can get a bit overwhelming here. Sometimes we come in, play video games. Discuss sports..."

"Where getting to third base is JUST that!" The nocker bangs on the table "Dammit"

"The point is, we don't feel the pressure to woo and be wooed, to feel like we have to show the other Fiona how happy we are by either having true love or many less than true ones... it's a great relief" Grey says "And , as you are the newest prey.. it only seemed fair to offer it to you too."

"Thanks I..wait, does my sister know about this? I mean.. the LIbrarian..."

"Haven't seen her." The nocker says, "She's probably as sappy romantic and passionate as any of them, but hides it under victorian laces."

"We don't know that, and it's not a failing if it IS so," Sir Grey frowns , disliking ANY lady being spoken of so casually "it's also possible that despite the lack of hiding places in this room, she's observing us now or has been in here numerous times. We have noticed that the room seems to gather straight , or mostly straight men in small groups devoid of temptation... but we're pretty sure some ladies, mostly straight, find themselves here now and then without masculine distraction."

"That's... I've never heard of any hold like this, and certainly no room like it" Ivory looks about. "But then, it could only exist in a Fiona hold where it would be needed I guess?"

"Or a fricking satyr traggo," The Nocker says.

"Well yes mister. ah... " Ivory looks at the nocker "What's your name sir? I'm Ivory "

"Oh no names from me.. that's how they get you!" The Nocker says, "One moment you're just a working joe, the next you've got a name... and then bam... the wimmen start speculating... is he good in the sack? Is he sweet? And "oh I'm not interested but he'd be great for my sister's roomate's cousin who hasnt' been on that horse in over a year' and BAM! You're on the menu!"

"He's a little paranoid" Sir Grey whispers.

"Getting that," Ivory whispers back.

"You think I'm crazy.. but i've seen it!" The nocker says "Perfectly good staff...swallowed up in the haze of lust or sappiness. Oswald's a goner...but then, he was never strong"

"Now now, it's not a weakness..it's just.. well.." Grey says stoicly "We each have our priorities. This is where those who put duty first can be."

Ivory looks around then, "Does that XBox work then?"

"Sure does!" The nocker says "Come on...I'll show you the strategy game with heavy armored assaults."

Ivory smiles "You could just say 'lets play tanks'"

"Feh!" The nocker says "What am I? A childling? Dibs on the green one"

Grey, for his part, gets a nice book on the art of war.

(End scene)