#earthrunes

"It does look that there was a ... a break there, yes. But, Zara... is it... true?" Hesitant.

"Well, I am not angry now. And... I know not who this she is. I am certain many at Earth Runes like you. Leonora, do you think? Could well be her, Fiona tend to fall for what they cannot have."

"You. It's you."

Gently. "August, this seems to be a whole night's worth of notes... look, see, how it jumps here?"

He nods.

"Yes. That break."

"Aye. But here, at the beginning... the bit about eyes, to the cards..."

"That was the plan, to spend the night doing re... that is, you know, focusing on a direction to ... " He looks at the beginning. "Yes?"

"I am not mad at you. When have I ever stayed mad at you? But see, here, it jumps from one to the other without a break. Yes. I am sure it is Leonora. She cares for Coradel, of course, so she would not attempt to cause strife between truehearts."

"Leonora and I care for each other, yes. But it's not her. I wouldn't feel like this if it were. I wrote that about you. I know it."

She frowns. "Why would you write that about me, August?"

"I love Earl. I chose Earl. He... I have dreamed of Oathing to him, August, though I... no, I am not ready... but I wish it, aye. To be ready. I love him."

"I... something had to happen to make me ask the question. Questions. I remember a lot but I don't remember everything. That's why I took notes. And ... and I just wanted to... to find out."

"You are oathed to Coradel. You chose her, nu? She makes you happy."

"I want you to be happy."

He nods. "She does, yes. And I'm glad you have Earl, he's a great guy and you are good for each other." He swallows. "I made you angry last night. I was apparently.... thoughtless. I took you ... I take you for granted? Zara, if it seems like I do.... it shouldn't. I don't."

"I care very deeply about you."

A look of quiet resignation, something sad as she picks up her tea. "Aye. I know."

"What?" He's picked up on it. "Tell me, Zara. I want to change."

"August, tis naught. I am not angered, I do not remember your offence."

"And what benefit is there, then in arguing and obsessing over these notes? What good will come?"

He gives her a baffled look. "What good.... learning. Wisdom."

"And... and I still want to know why you looked sad just then. Please, tell me?"

A sigh. "August, what did Coradel say about me? What was she right about?"

"That you... that you... liked me. Like.... you, ah, you wanted a relationship. With me. Like Leonora and I have."

He swallows. "She's even asked if we were, ah, lovers. Before. I mean, in Arcadia. We, ah, we weren't, were we?"

"No, August. I have no memory of us ever being lovers." That sadness again. "I remember you. I remember watching you, from the river. But no, you never saw me."

He looks gutted. "I see you now."

As gently as possible. "I think... August, you see the Zara you wish. And I will be her for you. You are my dearest friend. I watched you for years, in the library. Years, before I dared speak to you."

"I didn't know."

"No one... I didn't have friends."

She bites on her lower lip and shrugs. "You didn't see me. And I... I was not bold enough to speak to you."

He moves, that abortive gesture to take her hand or hug her, stopping himself. "It's true? You... felt that way about me?"

She wilts when he stops himself from even taking her hand. "And now what? What would you think of me? I... what wilt thou? I watched you, aye. You saw me naught, you never saw me. I am a sluagh, I know what I am. Sluagh are not to be seen."

"You are my dearest friend. Earl is my love. It was you who told me of the different kinds of love, of agape and eros and philia..."

He flinches, cringing. "I was.... I remember that. I'm an idiot. I didn't understand... I didn't know what I was talking about."

"Then have you no love for me?"

"I -do- love you, yes. Of course I do."

"Then aye. Yes, I love you. You are my dearest friend, and I have known you for lifetimes. Even if you do not remember the witch of the river, so long ago. I have only her name, for hers is the one locked deepest in my soul."

A sad smile. "You know... that's a comforting thought. For me. That... that you were there for me."

Gentle sadness, as delicate as the china in her hands, as a silken spiderweb. "Aye. A comfort."

He shakes his head. "It's not about my comfort, though." He hesitates a moment, then drops to his knees. "I've been ungrateful and carelessly cruel and ... and I'm ashamed of myself. I'm so sorry, Zara."

Her grey lips pull into a melancholy smile, one of as much sadness and regret as love. "Aye, August."

Now he -does- take her hand, and kisses it.

there is a soft knock at the door, and a voice "pardon. I have cake, but it can wait if you need more time"

Her hand, as always, is cool to the touch and slightly clammy. "Aye - cake? Lovely. But... but I may need a spot of air, first."

He has not opened the door yet, and strains to hear but does.. "I see. We'll, I'll set this down for you to have later" the door opens and he sets some cake down for August and himself, putting Zara's near her cup

August looks over his shoulder, then back to Zara. "Of course."

Earl kisses Zara briefly "take a shawl if you need it. Idon' want you too cold."

"Thank you both." She crosses over to Earl, catching his hand and drawing it up to brush his knuckles with a butterfly kiss.