#earthrunes

"Well, look at you, oh my you seem a bit sickly for a mouse, quite healthy for mole rat though. I am Shalimar, Lord of Jesters and Jester to Lords, graduate of the Kaye School of Comedy"

"Primavera Supreme, Emmaline Evangaline Marie-Marine DuPreen." A bow!

"Well, no wonder you carry a knife?" He pauses, "Would this fallen tool of toil perhaps be your pet? It's fine, we just crashed into each other, caught up on old times" He says looking at the hoe

"Oh, me and that hoe go way back..." She pads over to pick it up. "Before my brother, even!"

"So much for that old Pslams, the book of Brahs not exacting? My faith is shaken" A sigh then he offers his hand to her free hand "Suprema! You are in luck. This hold is a grand opportunity of chances and delights, the baroness is kindly and has a sense of direction, and while her true heart takes the that was fun out of prank, he's the most noble of Pines. The Regent is known for her wings but rumors abound her drum sticks are equally lovely- AND all three have harts made of gold that often graze in the field."

"What deers!" She takes his hand - her grip is calloused, but warm.

His own hand is strong but not squeezing, but then he walks on it a fifth of the time. Callouses at the edge of the finger tips mostly, "Oh yes, I could faun over them all day" He says "There's also their Opus, a keen lad who is yoking a dragon soon"

"Yoking a... ah! The golden dragoness? I may have met one, some time ago..."

"I suppose Doctor Delores was right, all of the courting swans WILL need flowers. Lucky they found me, non?"

"Oh yes, a dragoness, quite good with her steel fang. Won the grand melee, but then few even compete for the pint sized melee. And oh yes, saying it with flowers works, for love is like a red red rose....beloved of the Queen of Hearts and dripping paint. Now," He says their handshake over he points "Over yonder is the Ayrie where all the turkeys are kept, and below the kennels where the cats are caged all under the eye of the ever effusive Sergei Sir. If you see a lad with a glass arm, that's the Regent's squire. Now I think she should get a spare, you know, in case he goes flat...but a nice fellow anyway"

"A glass arm? Curiouser and curiouser..."

"I'd think a hammer would shatter is, if hammered he be - and the Regent really shouldn't let him drink..."

"Apparently he's double paned but doesn't hurt at all. Odd. "

"Odd indeed, but add odd to oddity and it evens out."

"Ah, I see you must have learned the gnu math at the hooves of the masters" He nods "Oh so many here, ware the librarian, she's toothless but has a nasty bite. Still, my Vashti adores her so I suppose I'll let her stay. "

"Toothless? Oh, I love dragons... I shall just.. be very small... elsewhere.."

"If you get the urge to read you can always ask me to borrow a few, change covers around, and so on... the safe life for me," He nods "Oh who else? Twobadours, which, as you know, is better than one badaour, one is Trumpet, he's from Bog End... the other has a terribly refined accent. Poor girl, goat pooka in denial. You know how goat pooka are" Tsks "Got an older one too, but I was hoping to save the younger one. WHy they don't talk straight"

Her tail drapes over her elbow, the end curling around her wrist. "Oh, I've met a few. Poor lost things, trying so hard to be what they are not. I once had one tell me he was a satyr, as if there ever were such a thing!"

"I blame our educational system" He nods sadly

"Well, if there are lost siblings here, I shall take on the heavy burden to help guide them..."

"You're a fine lass, but I'm not sure Keller can ever be taught. IT would take a miracle worker"

"Well, you can lead a blind girl to water, but have you tried spelling with your hands?"

He signs and if she speaks ASL it's the symbol for no, then added 'I feel terribly bad about my ignorance'

"Well..." Blink.. blink... and then the ASl sign for opposum, the pinky acting like a tail hanging from a branch.

"Jonah got a free ride from one of those- the lazy bastard, they used to hang stowaways you know?"

"I speak whale, sure! So - you're the one in charge around here?"

"How did you guess?" He fluffs up proudly

"The tail, obviously. Why, it must be 7 foot wide!"

"Oh I hope Vashti develops your fine eye for measurement.. so accurate, " Delighted, "Now, be careful while you work the garden, tis stalked by..." He looks left, looks right "a Detroit fan"

"...and tigers and bears, oh my?"

"Not so many bears as you'd expect to find in a Fiona hold, I mean, if ther'es one House that doesn't judge..ah well"

"Well, I know everything there is to know about the Fiona. Except what I don't. You know, how many would you think there were in n'awlins?"

"And Acadians are not Arcadians without piracy. Terribly confusing place, Louisiana..."

"My word... Loose Anna sounds like a fine lass but yes, mixed messages"

"Let me tell you a secret - plastic beads, cher. If you ever go, bring a duffel bag and you can get into any door!"

"But don't throw them at anyone's Mama, or you might cause insult."

"Well, of course, the only one allowed to bead my mother is my father, how I came to be you know?"

"Strung all together! A most clever marionette, monsieur."

He bows "Those who disparage puns are often just puns in the closet themselves."

"And only punishing themselves? How... naughty."

"One could go blind, but forgive me, I fear the silver lioness's hair gets into everything around here. They're sense beyond brave, you know? And Dilly tainted, but with hearts as big as comic con. They're deadly with a feather and can tickle one with a sword. Of course, of all the noble houses, they're the rarest here...by that mean, others are in less demand but are well done."

"We are outnumbered!"

"I heard there were a dozen pups and cubs and kittens, though..."

"Oh dozens" he says "Or perhaps that's just energy cost counted in. Mr Benson and Ludmilla, the former being a troll and the latter being a piskey, watch over them all... you'll see them with butter fly nets"

"Oh! Enslavement!"

"Well, right, like any other school" A nod

"Tragic..."

"Now that I've set everything there is to know straight and clear, have you any questions?"

"Oh, a thousand and four..."

"Won't take long then" He nods