#earthrunes

Her eyes widen at that. "No...I didn't...he didn't tell me that..." She bites her lip a moment, thinking. "Please, come where we can speak." She moves off in the direction of her bedchamber.

She follows, "Didn't think you did. And Earl might be mad if he found out I was telling but then..." A shrug

"Let him be mad. I needed to know that. August should have..." Whatever August should have done is bit off as she tries to control her anger and fear. "Please, come inside. Can I get you a drink? Because I surely need one." She moves across the room to pour what looks like several fingers of a very neat scotch.

"Bit of scotch will be fine," She nods to the same "Look, August was studying at the time, finals and such? So it's natural he might neglect things... but as a Sidhe, well, banality gathers quicker and I can't imagine that it was just that on his mind. He's...sloppy."

"Please, make yourself comfortable. I regret that I have little troll-sized furniture in here." She pours the another scotch, same amount, and hands it to her guest. She doesn't make a toast...she's too distracted, and takes a bracing sip, then another, before responding. "Before his final exams, he made a decision that seemed wrong at the time, and earned him a scolding from the Baron. August did not take that well, and he was behind in his studies as well, and...we agreed that he needed a bit of space for a week or so, so I tried not to distract him overmuch. His messages were...well, I thought he was focused on his studies. I didn't realize...I didn't know it had gotten that bad."

She paces as she speaks and drinks.

She takes it, though the stem of it looks a bit silly between her fingers, "Oh. The Baron chastised him. Mmm, I don't know August as well as Earl but I think August can be very idealistic, and idealists can be very much indanger of being perfectionists and..well, there's no such thing as perfection. If a Liam drive for duty gets caught up in thins being ideal and perfect, they're almost setting themselves up for stress never ending." A sip "Life is too messy. And ... the reason I know this is because I...can be a bossy britches who wants things 'just so' so it's close to my own flaws."

"Oh, the strive-for-perfection thing, you've just described August to a T!" No lack of frustration here. "Idealist, yes...and impossibly hard on himself. And then what he expects of others...!" She puts her glass down on a table a little too hard...it doesn't break, but the whiskey sloshes. Irritated, she goes to top it off. "He came back for Yule, and I thought 'good, his tests are past, all will be well'...and then there was my Saining, by surprise, and then an attack on the Baron, and..." A sip. "And yet I thought we would be all right. We went to sleep together, and I thought...." Another drink, a larger one.

A sigh. "The short of it is....I tried to talk to him about our relationship, about some things that we should discuss...and....he left. Just like that."

A drink, and a wince not at the drink, "Sounds like he's trying to apply perfection and his idea of it to your relationship. I tried that with Acton. DId-not-work." Sympathetic wince

She stands, shoulders bowed, and drinks sullenly. "Who is Acton?"

"Ghille Dhu boyfriend. I've... we're still dating, but it's not going as I expected partially because what I wanted kept...changing on me."

Moody interest. "Changing how?"

"At first, he was... supposed to be my secret. Something for my own that the elders at the farmhold wouldn't know about. Someone to uhm.. "Light blush "Buckle my swash , romance me ? Oh it was wonderful. And it was never supposed to mix, not with family, nor my duties at diplomacy, nor...well, I wanted everything 'just so'. But doing that to him nearly lost him, and nearly lost me. And... well, I found myself thinking more seriously about where it would go... I felt like such an ingrateful wench. I had what I wanted, and now I wanted something different maybe? Now we're... seeing how far it's going to grow. But he's a much bigger part of all parts of my life. I went looking for romance, but eventually I'm going to want a partner. I'm just not ready for THE partner yet. I'm.. I'm a troll, supposed to be steady I suppose, and I am but I'm not ready for my 'ever after', I just got here it feels like."

She sighs and looks out the window. "I chrysalized six months ago. Almost as soon as I awoke here, I learned I was August's Arcadian wife. I had some sort of...compulsion to go find him. I had to see him, to know he was...that he was well and safe and whole. Then I did, and...the compulsion went away. This young August was my August, but..." She shakes her head. "I don't know how to explain it. But still, we grew closer. He pursued me, and I seduced him, and...we entangled each other, and oh Dreaming, how I love him." She gives a little helpless miserable laugh. "But he doesn't understand...that if I wish to reserve the right to perhaps enjoy other physical pleasures, that does not mean I love him any less! I...I don't think he can understand this."

"I'm not sure Icould either, we trolls are teri.." A pause, "no. I could understand. I had this cookie, and for a time, I was a satyreess and I went to acton and said ' you know, let's be open about it' and... of course, 12 hours later I was begging him to forget what I said. But ... if the Fiona way is closer to that, then... yeah, been there briefly, and even now I am NOT wanting to have a big wedding and oaths of truehearts. But I admit, I thought marriages among sidhe were often ..well, Chief Agnes would use the word 'decadent'. You know, like he has a mistress but if it's not someone you despise, andyou have a lover but have to be discrete. But then I got to know some sidhe and... well, it varies. "

She shakes her head. "Perhaps some. That's not what August wants. He wants complete fidelity...he called what I was suggesting 'some kind of Fiona thing.'" That's clearly a direct quote, bitterly memorized.

"Oh, August... it's called Tact" she says under her breath with another drink "Oh he wants a total pick up from before the shattering? But... how can either of you even know what that was?"

"I know!" she agrees vehemently, then tosses back the last of her drink and puts the glass down hard on the table. The boggans have apparently learned that Coradel requires sturdy drinkware. "I mean...we must have made it work before, but I have no idea how!"

"I'll tell you how, you need to make a quest of it. The two of you! You need to go back int othe Dreaming and find a way to bring back some memories of what your old marriagge was REALLY like so you can at least build, or choose not to build on something more solid than shifting sand. You're sained now right? The Dreaming isn't more dangerous to you."

The Troll seems to be certain of this.

That stops her in her tracks. "I... I suppose...a quest? Maybe...."

Then a sigh, "Not that we would likely remember whatever we learned."

"That would be part of the quest, some way of trapping that knowledge so it stayed. It's got to be possible. "

Her hand goes to her heart, her fingertips splayed lightly just above. "I suppose...it could be done."

"It won't be easy," Clem says "Be a lie to say anything else. And it may not be the answer you WANT, but it's got to be better than ...ignorance mixed with unmeant torment"

A slight bitter laugh as she drops her hand. "And what if what was right for Coradel there is not right for Coradel here, in this sharp and chilly world?" She shakes her head. "I do not know if a quest is the right thing to do...but it does bear considering. If August ever speaks with me again, that is."

"Have you ever chased him?"

"I mean, I know you seduced him, but?"

"I...have tried to be gentle with him. He has been shy, uncertain. But...eager. So 'chased him'...perhaps not. Enticed him, yes. Intrigued him, certainly. Chased...I am not sure."

"Do you know abut Roman Catholics, Clem?"

"Mostly the sort of thing you see on TV, but I know August is one. " A nod "Go on."

"When I first met him here...he was going to be a priest." A significant look.

"So can't say you don't know to lure. I tip a hat to you one woman to another there. My point was... maybe you need to knock on his door and say Come home? We can't always leave it up to the fellows...they can be thick."

"I've been trying to contact him. He has responded once: 'My condolences' about the Baron. That's it. That's all. I would go after him, but..." She gestures to indicate the hold. "I am needed here, now. I have a duty to this hold, this Balefire, and these people."

She pauses, "Of ourse. You have to be a leader first. I'm sorry. I should have thought of that. Well, I will try to offer him a healing. Would you like me to hand him a hand written note?"

She thinks about it...then shakes her head. "Please do see if you can help him. But if he is not responding to me by one means, I can't believe he'd suddenly start responding to me in another." A sigh. "I haven't told him that I love him, Clem. It...I couldn't before I was sained. I wanted to, afterwards...but I needed to be clear what that word meant to me, and what it didn't mean, and that's when he left."

"At any rate...no. No note. But help him."

"I think you're a very honest and honorable woman even if you're strange to me. I'll go to healing others here, and then when done with that find him to offer healing to him. " She looks ready to go, but pauses before heading out, "I won' be coming to court here, DeBukes don't bend right at the back and knees, but if you ever want to talk girl to girl or need a healer, Earl can get you my number."

"Perhaps. I think you may be a pooka in disguise, to get me to share all that." She sinks into a chair. "And now I must beg you to keep my trust. What I said...it should not be shared."

A sympathetic look, "the one person I'd be tempted to share it with is also the person who most understands the need for secrets. All right. I understand. Somethings moments feel...too vulnerable to treat casually."

"I thank you. And my thanks again for how you have helped Bachdion, and how you will help others here. Your contributions to the hold will not be forgotten."

"Pshaw, right of life would compell me to help pretty much anyone, but... you're welcome. Good luck keeping that old goat on my schedule for recovery though. He's got that look saying he's Sure he can cut off a few days because he wants things enough. Men of any kith, but goats are double so."

That gets a grin. "He's stubborn. But so am I."

A wolf toothed grin back, "Good to know. Stubborn folk are more interesting.." And she slips off to heal others, leaving the Baroness to makesure a satyr stays 'on track'

(End Scene)