#dreaming

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She was not exactly a white unicorn, not the bright sparkle of snow being struck by sunlight, nor the soft white of a cotton puff so often seen in the colts. She was not even the white of sea foam that some of the more venerable (if that term could apply to an immortal creature) of unicorns were.

She was rather, the color of tears, or at least, the color we often imagine tears to be. Tears, like water, do not often have a hue, but those who imagine sorrow often see blue laced in that liquid glass that is sorrow's stream. She was invisible, or near to it, save for dashes of blue that you had to look very hard for indeed.

She still remembered when she was more visible, by unicorn standards, but then, she was very young indeed. The world was new, and dreams not so hard to reach, nor it so hard for them to reach you. She was hardly special in the herd. She was cottony white in her mane and tuft at the end of her leonine tail. She was more snow white in body, but even then her eyes were a pale blue.

To stem the seeming war on innocence by dark forces even then, Unicorns would make themselves available to virgins, to encourage them to hold onto that innocence until love found them. Some unicorns, it must be said, believed love must be over rated, why would you need it when you could ride a unicorn?

But over all, it was a pleasant task. Much better than scaring wicked children straight, or guarding bridges or the like. And she, like the others, was quite happy to lay her head in the lap of a pure hearted lad or maid and even, sometimes, let them ride. Those who faked it, well, a good poke for those who insisted, but a disapproving tail swish or worse, the silent treatment would make the fakes realize that no gold bridle was going to do the job on it's own.

And then one day, she and the Headstallion of the Unicorns, were pursing near a human town. She waved off with a tail flick those women who had been so eager to lose their innocence that they hardly valued it. She let herself be seen by those who were pure of heart and more and might give one a ride if they needed new resolve in their innocence. And yet... one young lass felt very odd.

To pass by one who was not pure was normally easy, it was like running fingers over jags and barbs, unpleasant enough to avoid at a touch. The innocent were silk souls... and yet this lass, was different from anyone she had encountered before.

"Herdmaster, that lass? Who is she?" She asked, "She feels as if silk has been torn, as if threads have been stretched beyond endurance, yet the only barbs and jags are inward. How is this possible"

The Herdmaster looked at her, and said "Ah, you have been fortunate. I forget. She is one of the taken. One of the tattered, one of the tarnished"

"They are" he continued, "not as rare as they should be. Suffice to say, we do not go to them- they are no longer innocent, and the fact it is not by their choosing is not our concern."

At that, she stopped and looked back "Not by their choosing?" for she was , a creature of innocence, rather naïve at times.

The Herdmaster nodded, long resolved to such things "It is wise not to dwell on them less you lose some of your own purity. She was taken by a man, two in fact, against her will. She knew not man nor maid's ways beyond what guesses she could make by nature's examples. She had hoped for a prince, most maids do, but no prince will surely touch her now. Instead two ruffians came and took her. As beasts might , season or no."

At this, the Unicorn was aghast "But they have held the fire, they've tasted of the fruit. They have breathed the mists! They know wrong from right! They are not beasts! They have no … this is outrageous. We should find the nearest River Hag and have her drown them at once!" It should be noted that innocent does not always mean one can't be outraged. Indeed, the innocent are often shocked at how those less innocent than they can abide evil in this world. And the young then unicorn was indeed filled with a righteous fury on the maid's behalf.

"That is not our purpose, nor our calling. Ignore the girl, she is broken," The Herdmaster said, "now, up this path you'll find a blue eyed lass who sings the most beautiful..."

But the Unicorn interrupted "But she was broken by others, not by herself, or poor choices. Verily, she has much goodness in her, I can smell it. I can feel it. And she dreamt of love. Why can she not ride? For all we know she would have waited for one of us."

"We value innocence, we are tied to it," The Unicorn Herdmaster sighed. The Stallion had dealt with many stubborn young unicorns in his time, "And that is where we find worth. Perhaps if we valued courage, she might be of use to us, but mmph, as it is" and he said this in tone that only those so lost in authority can say and not realize how they sound "She.Just.Doesn't.matter."

At that, the Unicorn stopped entirely and stared at him. Stared at him with the one thing no unicorn is supposed to have- disbelief. Then she said that word that came to her, a word that can be childish at times, but also takes great courage in the face of power. The word was simple, and short "no."

The Herdmaster had kept moving forward, assuming the younger unicorn was following as she was supposed to, but the word made his head twist so that his horn slashed the wind, and he noticed her defiant and disbelieving stare "What? What do you mean 'no'?" He said stunned himself "You know the laws of our nature, any unicorn that would go to such a lass would risk her own innocence in contact with one who had lost their own. Humans are greedy takers at the core of them."

"I cannot believe" The unicorn, white still at this time, said "That the laws of innocence are so poorly written, so hope shatteringly rigid that one who has had something torn from her should bear the same brunt as one who choose to give too much without care. I cannot believe that one law fits all things. I cannot believe that the brutes who did this might or might not have a proper drowning, but this girl must be denied. And if she would take my innocence? So be it. I have what she did not, a choice. And I choose to go to her. Today, she will fly across the golden plains, and weave through the forest of dreams as she was meant to. She will climb up on my back and we shall reach the highest peak and I will her whole valleys of joys that await even the wounded. She may have lost..no, been robbed of her innocence, but she will for a time forget her pain, and she will have hope." At this she gave a foot stamp.

The Herdmaster was aghast, "You foolish fluffheaded Philly, know you not that I cannot allow a Unicorn to be seen, we cannot allow you to be seen, aiding one who is not pure, less it undermine the worth of innocence everywhere?"

"Then we are no less greedy hearted than the humans," She bared her delicate teeth at him and prepared to lower her horn. If it came to a fight, she would surely lose, but she had to try, "let me be unseen then, until I am close, and the need is great. Let them know me by the sorrow reflected, that I would wash away."

The Herdmaster considered, then listened to winds that spoke words few could hear, then said "If you insist." And he blew, and the wind blew with him.

It blew the white right out of her.

Odd feeling that, to have a color blown away but no other color fill it.

So aghast was the young unicorn that for a brief moment, she almost begged forgiveness, to be again. Unicorns are flimsy enough myths at times (It's even worse now) without even having a hue. Then she wondered what had been cast out of the girl, and she found strength.

"You will have no name you can give save what they give you" he warned.

"Accepted" and her name fell from her like rain off a rooftop. And that, dear ones, is why we have referred to her as just 'the unicorn' even though there were at this time so many.

"And you ride without the herd, you do this, you will be alone. You will have no one" he warned, "For I cannot have a herdmember who would sneer at the laws of dreams and herd alike. Please, reconsider, I do not wish you to be alone."

"You would be just to me who chooses, but reject her for who choice was but a memory?" She shook her horn, looking older now for all her transparency "Such justice is not something I want anyway. And I will not be alone, I will be with those like her. Good day, Herdmaster. We may see each other again ,but I do not think we shall speak again"

"We shall not," he sighed, and he hung his head , horn feeling heavy, as did the crown he wore, not a crown of gold, but one of authority. It was a good sign that it was heavy, only kings who care really feel a weight to their crown you know? Be wary of any ruler who acts as if his crown were feathers for he loves you not even a little.

"Nor will any other Unicorn, ever" he sighed. "Until the final bell breaks with the final chime over the last morning. Off with you. You break my heart."

"it is good to see you still have one to be broken," She observed, and thought of saying that she had begun to wonder, but she was a pariah, not cruel. She turned, and went to the broken girl.

Now the girl could not see her, did not know. She was sure there was no worth in her. And then.. something nickered in her ear. And the unicorn told her with that soft whiney "You are not worthless, you are not forgotten, let me show you that even innocence lost, there is joy."

And the lass' hands touched the invisible side, feeling the softness of the fur, and the strength of the slim body under, and her hand even touched the horn. And she knew, knew what this creature was. "I thought you were supposed to be as white as snow?" The lass said, and immediately regreted it for fear she might drive the unicorn off, "Please, forget I said that, please don't leave."

Instead, the unicorn laughed, and said "It is a long story, and it matters not. Ride, and let me show you what does matter. Not your past, but your future, oh it is a challenging but lush valley. Come." And the Lass did get onto the unicorn's back, and off they went.

I cannot tell you what the lass saw, of course. It was no doubt lovely and magical and far beyond anything I could really describe, but every unicorn ride is different you see? A reflection of what is best in you is shown, and what best awaits, and hope, oh yes. And who am I to tell you or anyone what your hope looks like. But the unicorn, so recently stripped of white, gained that odd trace of color that day, for into her fur fell tears, tears of sorrow, and then tears of joy, and yes, hope. And the Herdmaster's warning of nameless nature proved to be emptier than he thought, but that became her name. To every lass or lad who has had something taken, some dark abuse that robbed them, she can be called by using her name...though it take her time to get to you. Don't believe me? In your darkest hour, call out "I wish" or better yet "I hope" and Hope she is. And the rest of the herd, all white as snow, or cotton, or sea foam, not one of them will take that name. You will never ever find another unicorn named Hope.

You see, that name is taken, well not taken, no- given.

………………..