#anywhere

Olgar comes in, "Hey, thought you might want or need to talk."

Her dad's ugly face is lit by some concern, but also with a certainty that there IS something to talk about. If she's hoping to evade, it will take effort

A brief and awkward pause, but she nods and sits. He knows that expression...she's figuring out how to say something, or how to ask something.

And he takes a sit nearby, and waits

"I...feel kinda sick, is part of it." An admission. "Because of...." She trails off and shrugs. "I know it'll pass, and being home feels better, but..." a sour expression.

"It's in you, the chill that is beyond cold ... any one can get it by dealing with very banal people or events, but waht you did, probably close to mainlining toxin" Olgar nods "I've faced it too. You need to draw from the fire tonight. The Chief's okay with that. It'll help. But you said 'part of it'. Go on."

She nods at the description. "Yeah, I kind of feel like I want to barf it out, but it won't work that way. I'll set up a cot by the fire in a bit." She pauses, bites her lip, then says, "What did the Jersey Devil mean, Dad? About your crimes?" She looks worried, and apologetic.

"Oh the whole 'blighted one' blah blah 'did you ever tell them of your darkest sins' blah blah stuff?" Olgar says

"Um...yeah." She looks serious.

"Before I met those at the lodge, before I was even a Rover, I did somethings I am not proud of. I was young, I was angry, and I rationalized that I was due. This is never a good combination" he says seriously "now. I never want you to think less of me, but even if that isn't a factor, I don't see that person as...well...that punk is a long time gone now. Is this something you feel you need to know?"

"I...think...that I'd rather know it now than have it sprung on me later. Like happened today." She looks down.

"Mm, that's fair. " He nods, "Your father murdered a man" he says

She bites her lip and looks up at him again. "Salt tears, you mean."

"He was mortal, a cop actually" Olgar says

Her eyes get wide. "Why?" Her voice is kind of thin.

"He passed the academy, standards in the area for the job were low" He answers

Noticing the long pause, he says "Okay. In my head that was darkly funny. That's not what you were asking though was it?"

She shakes her head, quiet, waiting and dreading.

"There was a cop. I thought he was an asshole before I got to know him. Turned out? I didn't even know how bad he was, but he was sure he was a good guy. Kept the street all nice and clean. Curb side justice so folk wouldn't have to wait for a trial to learn a lesson, that kind of thing. I was...shit, not much older than you. On that street there was this whore.. and I don't mean that in any way but the literal. A prostitute. The cop had a way of teaching her and her friends a lesson too." He says "What I"m going to say next is going to make it sound like I was the punisher, some vigilante fighting corruption. It doesn't work that way. Turns out, he thought that if the whores learned what could be sold could be taken for free... well, they didn't have body cams back then. He was 'educating her'. And me? Because she gave it to me cheap, I had convinced myself there might be 'more' between her and I..." He frowns "You sure you want to hear this?"

The gulp is almost audible, and she hesitates, but does nod. "Yes."

A deep breath "id like to say it was all a blur, but that's bull shit. It's a series of still shots forever in my head , frame by frame. I'd like to say it was the heat of the moment, I lost my head. But no, I planned it out. I was gonna be the hero. Save the girl. Find out she really wasn't doing it for the money, not for ME. I enchanted them both. Set them up for it. SHe could witness me taking the 'real' monster down. I wasn't stupid. I made sure he didn't have his gun handy." A thought "It was actually pretty even. I had muscle, but he had a night stick and more training, and I was just a punk. But surprise, the Dreaming, and troll strength won the day... I managed to wrest the stic kfrom him...and I hit him with it, again and again, letting out all my rage, asking him if he was learning anything. THen I turned to the lady , she could see the real me. I had defeated the monster, now it was time for my reward..."

"I pulled her towards me, started to kiss her.. and I heard her say 'oh god, not again' aNd I realized.... to her, I wasn't a dream prince. I wasn't a hero. I was just another brute in blue who was about to take what he wanted."

Olgar watches his daughter to see her reaction

She stares at him, and he can see she's caught between trying to picture her father in the scene he describes, and trying not to picture it.

She doesn't seem to be able to say anything at first. Eventually she manages, "....oh."

"I think that's when I decided I was unseelie. Love wasn't conquering. Lust was. Repaying all debts? I had defeated her abuser...so she owed me if I were seelie right? Beauty is life! Surely she'd see the beauty on the inside of me." A snort "At the time, I was sure that my blighted face was where the uglieness was. That night? It was probably the most attractive thing about me. No. I realized I was going to be unseelie, or I'd be a monster too. I told her that I did it for her, for US. She screamed. I told her he wouldn't hurt her again... and I broke his damn neck. She was SAFE Now, I told her. She begged for me not to hurt her, and she spread her legs ready to take on her next rapist." HEr father looks thoughtful, "Somehow, pride succeeded where honor failed. I told myself I didn't want some cop's sloppy seconds, told her too... and walked off. I was just a scrawny kid, wasn't even a suspect for being strong enough to kill a cop. And she was a whore who was on drugs who didn't remember what had happened to the cop. They searched for weeks, but never found 'the cop killer'. Not that I stuck around." He sighs "Faux pride aside, there's not a single thing about myself I liked that night. Best thing I coudl say was that when it came to being a monster in denial, I took SECOND place. And that's hardly wortth a hurrah, is it?"

"I...." Sylvi tries to answer that, but has no idea how. "He needed to be punished...." she sounds like she's agreeing...but only to a point. "That...it...it wasn't around here, right?"

"He needed punished. What I did was murder. It might be argued that it had some serious extenuating circumstances, but let's not sugar coat it too much mmm? Maybe it was the only way to have stopped him back in the day, maybe there were better ways if I had more patience and compassion and less ego." a sigh "And to answer your question. No. Though I don't plan on telling you where it did happen. It's been a long time. I don't want you tarnishing a whole town for what happened one night there."

She shakes her head. "I don't want you to tell me where. That would be...no...I don't need to know that part. I'm just glad it wasn't here. I mean...that's stupid. It shouldn't matter where. But...I'm glad it wasn't here." A bit of a quiet pause. "Does Mom know?"

"Is it important to you that she does?" He asks.

She wrinkles her nose a bit, thinking that through. "I think...I don't like the idea that it's a secret from her that I know. I don't want to know something like...like that...if she doesn't know, too. I don't mean I want to talk about it more. But if I know she knows, then...then I don't feel like I have to...?" She trails off, not sure if she's being clear.

"She knows, has known." Her dad says simply "Telling her was one of the hardest things I've ever done."

"I'll bet." Sylvi nods and bites her lip.

"This was easier, but not by much" He says "now. You want to talk about the flip side of things?"

A confused look. "How do you mean?"

"WHen it screamed, you saw something, relived someone else's memory. THeir worst night of their life in the Pine Barrens reach. You need to talk about it? It had nothing to do with you but you caught it full on anyway. That thing was a nasty piece of work"

Rapid blinking, then she looks away. "Oh. I...wasn't thinking about that." A pause. "I am now, though." A deep breath. "It was...I was...there was a hand on my throat...and...a knife...and...he started cutting my face..." she closes her eyes and shakes her head. "I could feel it. And...the blood...and...and I knew he wasn't going to stop...."

"Ouch" He says "Sorry I reminded you. You gonna be okay? About that ,and what I told you?"

A sigh. "I don't know. I guess I've gotta be. I mean...you know...it didn't happen to me, not really. But...it's still in here..." she taps her temple. "A memory, even if it isn't mine. Like a horror movie in 3-D Feel-o-vision." A thin attempt at a joke. "Between that and...and all the other stuff...." A shrug. "It's been a not-great day."

"Yeah, they don't mention this in the lyrics of 'hail the conquering hero'" He says with a nod "Besides the banality of it, it's just plain disconcerting. I know. It may not be of great comfort to you, but I was proud, not that you can kill, but that you can save others by making the hard choice instead of letting indecision freeze you. Your mom may be a bit more shaken than I am, but don't confuse that for her thinking ill of you. She just thinks you're too young to have to make those choices. In a better world? She'd be right."

A nod, then she says slowly, "I just kind of need to figure out what I was thinking then. I need to...to put it all together..." She looks at him. "Dad, can I wait to tell Mom the details tomorrow? I just...I can't right now. Just want the balefire...."

"Sure. She knows the basics, but details can wait." He assures "I'll let her know just for the fire for now, maybe fake a limp if I have to to distract her."

a wink at that last.

Sylvi knows her mom likely wouldn't FALL For it, but taht wouldn't make it any less effective in its way

"Okay." She musters a little grin at the joke, for him. "And...thanks for telling me." Sincere respect for sharing the story.

"That's just between the three of us, okay?" He rises to help her move to the balefire

A serious nod. "Yeah."

She might not technically need his help to get there, but she accepts it, and she doesn't argue if he helps her set up the cot, too.

And the fire will, by will of the Chieftain ,soak into her tonight, drawing the poison of mortal grimness out, replacing it with the light of Northern dreams.

And with a warm bunny chimera with floppy ears in her arms.